Protected: Prose; Sex as Source Energy
Prose; Adoration Be Damned
I’m stalking a case for spring in the autumn of my middle age.
My assembled energy is diametrically opposite that of needing the validation of an amassed group of imposters pretending to agree so they can drink together later.
It’s not that I don’t like the group, or that I don’t occasionally have a very dry martini, I just don’t viscerally need the group. They get exhumed energy from each other; even demand it threatening social castigation, as though there would be any real loss there.
I haven’t figured out how to affix myself to a rumbling male in my present condition.
In addition, my mephitic eighteen-year-old son will be moving out of the house soon to go on his way to sow his oats and beans. My peaceful environment is proliferating.
As I think back on the men/mates I’ve adored and who have adored me, as vain as that sounds, it was called love at the time and then it turned into territorial civil war and possessive jealousy.
I’m pretty sure that uncorked behavior is common and some couples like it that way but some don’t. I don’t.
It’s just that, in this new paradigm of sitting in my body and owning myself, that adoration doesn’t feel like it’s all it’s cracked up to be.
A man feels as though I’ve forged an alliance with a fawning cat whose nursing by pushing its paws into my chest.
Maybe it’s just the mood I’m in.
When a man starts to adore me he wants to own me, my time, and my body, like a puppy!
That’s been my experience with every man I’ve been with except this last guy I dated. At least he didn’t bug me. I know there are all the ideas about giving your mate the space they need, but then the real emotions of amorous desire creep in.
“I want you”, “I adore you”, “I need you”, “I love you”, “I miss you” becomes a medieval prison!
I used to think I wanted to be adored by a man with high self-esteem and all the pheromones I need to be turned on, but now I’m not so sure.
I love my life, my work, my friends, and my home. Maybe all of that adoration would be oppressive! I’d have to respond after all or that would be rude.
Protected: Essay; Intimacy and Intuition
Essay: Addiction as a Shield
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Protected: Essay; 10 Reasons It’s Hard For Smart Women To Find Love
Protected: Essay; A Woman’s Ego
Protected: Essay: Heartset; Sack it
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Protected: Prose; “I Love You”
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Protected: Prose; Self-Interest
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Protected: Essay; Bonding instead of Possession
Protected: Essay; an Expiration Date is Normal for Monogamy & Marriage
Essay: “I Forgive You”
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Protected: Essay: Is it a relationship or usage?
Protected: Essay; Platonic Love? Which One?
Protected: Essay; The Way to a Woman’s ….. is Through Her Heart
Essay; Women Attach Through Sex and Men Attach Through Emotional Bond
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Time Innovation: Synchronicity- Curtains
I’m editing my blog posts (8/31/19) and just noticed this synchronicity. I posted this blog on the curtains on 12/2/18. Look at my post below from 11/18/18 where I blogged about my dream when Spirit put literal pictures in front of me of my Twin Flames Family at Thanksgiving. Then at my Thanksgiving time at my Mom’s, I see the same curtains as his. ! Synchronicity of family Thanksgiving and curtains.
I was just visiting my Mom last week for Thanksgiving and was excited to see her new house. She has an extra room where I slept for three days.
I walked in…and the curtains on the windows were exactly the same print as the curtains on the front windows of my Occult Partner Kin’s house in California. As you may recall I visited there in July, 2018, meeting him for the first time. We just hung out. I even remember photographically etching the pattern in my mind as though something was unconsciously telling me to remember the pattern. I specifically “noted” his curtains.
I was aghast and told my Mom as she helped me bring my things in, that her curtains were the same as Raul’s in California. She said, “That’s impossible. I just picked those up at a garage sale at the old place where I used to live.”
“Mom, it’s the same pattern. Same curtains. Oh my gosh.” What is the meaning of that?
When you’ve met your occult partner kin, all kinds of crazy synchronicities happen to stimulate the release of your self-identification with the subconscious mind. As I’ve said on here before, the subconscious is our GPS system given to us by our birth family, imprinted irrevocably on our minds by our mother between in utero to about age six.
Ok, so, this is my Mother’s room! She picked out the curtains. I guess the question is, who picked out the curtains on the front windows of his house in California?
The message I got from my spiritual guidance team yesterday was, “The two of you have work to do and need to get cracking! Move your vibe to warmth, faith, and love and release fear, the past, and negativity!” I’m stubborn. Your male and female selves become ONE and there is no more subconscious conflict. You both are individuated adults, no longer sitting in emotional choices programmed by your mother. It’s not for everyone but if you have been called to the journey there are major revelations about who you are and who you are not.
When I finally realize that my mother’s projections onto me do not define who I am, it’s “curtains” for my subconscious mind and hopefully for Raul as well.
It was a major synchronicity. There are no coincidences or accidents.
Synchronicity is the Source of Consciousness 