Category: ESSAY

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Essay: Define “Lover”. No Possession? No Territory?


3 nested hearts

It’s a friendship middle ground where men are still free to roam and women are still free to roam emotionally and physically also because we don’t need the ego validation of being the center of someone’s world or possession. In fact, the last thing I want is someone to need me that much. I have work to do. It’s dependency!

We should all take care of ourselves. Otherwise, it seems to me you’re still looking for a mommy or daddy. We all need to get over that. That, and I really need to sleep alone and roll around in my queen bed. I suppose a remedy could be a king bed. I’ll consider it.

So, speaking as a woman, I will have friendship feelings for you during sex and that’s all, unless I’m in love with you. I think that’s the biggest and best connection you can have with a man. You’re friends!

Yes, I will love you as my friend. How can love be any better than that? And I would make it clear to a man that in no way are there strings attached physically but we have a friendship agreement. That is all.

There will be no use or just sucking sexual energy from the woman and dumping her like a hooker. That’s a hookup. Women who do that to men should not do that either if you want a lover. Friends don’t use each other.

So, it really is in the woman’s purview to make sure you really feel like you have some type of friendship with a guy before you have sex with him. I don’t think guys know how to create that. You would never have sex on a first date if you seek lovers and friends.
Obviously, every woman and man is different in how they might define it. I also find it doubtful that a man would call a woman he has sex with his lover but he should. He would say “girlfriend” because I think men tend to be more territorial over a woman’s body than we are with them.

But to a woman who is a free spirit that is too heavy on the territory and social obligation. There is no way I want a boyfriend or a husband which is almost the same thing minus the paper.

Women that are busy, work, have projects, business and ideas in no way need or want to invest most of their time in a relationship. I’m not going to babysit or be nursemaid to a man. I don’t need to or want to. I want us to be friends as equals; no possession.

A lover is not friends with benefits because sex with warmth, love, and friendship is real sex which is a very big deal to a woman. It’s not just a benefit you’d receive like a job benefit.

There is no territorial or legal claim, no possession. You actually dig each other and each other’s bodies and sexual energy. That’s it. No obligations.

You usually agree you can have another lover if desired. In order to leave it out of hookup territory let’s say only one other lover. It’s not polyamorous which is hookup defecation sex.

That’s a lover. It’s not a hookup with a stranger, not defecation sex, you’re not just friends although that’s included, you’re not boyfriend/girlfriend, there are no social contracts, and you don’t want or need marriage or a relationship to corral, define, or control you or continue to play out your family of birth psychodrama.

It’s empowering for a woman who has her own life. As dramatic, territorial and emotional as men get about sex and the body, they don’t usually like this setup. Again, it’s similar to the way my young son got when I was talking on the phone to someone else. Jealous.

Well, take it or leave it because I won’t be possessed by any man absent real love which is usually quite fickle or non-existent for them. Men and women in a relationship need to become more equal or don’t feign a relationship at all.

What totally changes all of this is sincere emotional bond which I have not experienced with a man because most of them don’t understand mature, emotional expression. They communicate through revving car and motocycle engines, fire, guns, and blowing stuff up and we’re supposed to understand it.

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Essay: Who has your back?


If you didn’t need human permission to be born and you don’t need human permission to die, why do you think you need human permission to live your life as you see fit, or at least have a good expansive experience? The same energy that got you here and helps you leave here…HAS you here.

Janusary 13, 2013-©️ Lisa K. Townsend

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Essay: Permission


Sheldrake on Science

Today is August 22, 2026. I wrote this 7 years ago.

Who gives you permission to be who you are and act as you wish?

The people who live with you? Your boss? Your mate? Your parents?The government? The Church? The Bible or some other religious book?

“We do have laws that come from all of our governments. They are called The State.

The two offshoots of The State are THE CHURCH and SCIENCE. Those two dogmas are essentially equal siblings that like to fight for transcendence over THE TRUTH. Neither one of them is going to win but they definitely kiss the parental butt of money and political power bequeathed on them from Big Daddy, The State.”-ME

The State

The State has always worked cooperatively with the Church and Science to keep the masses corralled. Keep that in mind as you watch TV and use social media.

Don’t waste your time reacting to politics. It’s all controlled by the media and whoever is above the President. They are excellent at mind control and crowd control as well as manipulating our feelings.

Because of the above fact, in no way can we trust that we’re getting any real disclosure from any institution. So it would be a poor choice to need any permission to be who you are, create what you want and need to create from any of those folks.

This is why the preponderance on creative self is so important. They do allow a few outliers as long as they don’t become too famous and the rest of you view us as freaks.

Humans love to see and hear what others create and it’s extremely empowering for all of us to express how we feel, move our bodies, paint, tell stories and engage with one another as co-creators.

State Money and Politics as Power

The worship of money and power stunts all of that and it’s bad for the planet. The healthcare industry is in the VICE GRIP of The State.

Just today, I’ve gotten 10 health insurance robocalls from within my area code. That’s harassment to comply with the social order. I refuse to buy health insurance because I’m holistic and choose to spend my money on MYSELF. I’m not supposed to be doing that. I’m supposed to be oppressed, take their pills, get sick and die like everyone else. I’m non-compliant and treat myself as a holistic doctor.

I recommend boycott no matter how much they nag and coerce you to spend money on health insurance. They’re not getting squat from me or millions of other holistic folks. Cash is Queen.

Permission

Permission to act comes from within you and I promise you, the Universe has your back. I’ve literally experienced it thousands of times. People may help you some but they will never have your back. You have to rely on yourself. We are free to work out the specifics of our destiny in these bodies of ours. You must be methodical and smart about your plan; not dramatic and reactionary. The over-emoting and holding onto the past is going to waste your time on this planet. Just get busy and give yourself permission to be the main actor in your life. The rest is mostly an illusion. Have fun!

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Essay: Addiction as a Shield


My drug of choice was sugar (top right), particularly cheesecake. I never do it anymore. Anything can actually be a drug of choice which is your “go-to” when you don’t feel you can deal with the emotions of a bad situation, or a toxic vampiric relationship sucking the life force from you, or traumatic memories because you don’t know how to put up boundaries or kick the memories in the huevos.

People are addicted to all kinds of things, even working out! For instance, no one needs to work out two hours a day, seven days a week and it is extremely unhealthy. The body won’t tolerate it.

Sometimes a way out takes some thought and planning. If you’re in survival mode, who has time for thought and planning? Well, that’s what we tell ourselves. Sometimes we say, “I’ll plan it out tomorrow,” and tomorrow means never. Do it now.

Now that I’m on the wagon and eating very healthy, shrinking, dealing with my feelings, setting boundaries and exercising, I can see how ironic the addiction shield is. In my case, my fat layers were my shield but they didn’t work. I still had men hitting on me.

It’s SUCH a myth that men are only attracted to thin women. HUGE freaking lie. It didn’t work and I felt horrible. My husband and then men after him, after my divorce, still wanted my sexual energy and liked me fat layers and all. I must put out an energy I’m not fully aware of yet but I don’t intend to. I am who I am! I have to figure it out.

All of the other addictive substances and activities not done in moderation will hurt your health as well and we know them. So, who needs a shield against an enemy, which could be mate, family, bad job, boss, the IRS, you name it when you’re busy destroying yourself on the other side of the shield??

That is the irony. Most addicts feel like they’re empowering themselves by rebelling, defiantly smoking the cigarette or dab pen 6-10 times a day or anything else. You’re defying yourself!

You’re hurting yourself behind the shield you’ve put up supposedly so others can’t get to you. Instead, YOU can’t get to you. It makes no sense and no one cares really if you want to destroy yourself of not. That’s the awful truth of our world.

You do have to be your own best friend and it still continues to amaze me how much more I’m ignored the better I do on my own. That’s another irony. I think it’s the pity and rescuing thing. People who need to rescue themselves are addicted to rescuing others and pitying them. All codependent. If you don’t fit that description, you are not useful to them.

If you really want to resist and be defiant against the machine (family, marriage, church, and state), LOVE YOURSELF, figure out how to make yourself happy, get so hot and so fit that everyone who said they loved you before find themselves deliciously jealous, hating you, trying to cut you down, and not talking to you anymore and dissing you.

You’re too together for them now. Then you’ll see what I’m sayin’. They are so down on themselves and you’re not, that they have to project that out to stay in denial about their own power to change or willingness to exert themselves to achieve it.

There is nothing wrong with you wanting to improve yourself, in fact, the opposite. Live alone and organize your money so that you can support yourself and pay your bills. Think it through.

You don’t need the shield of defense anymore in the form of addiction because you’re right out in front, asserting yourself and picking your battles and hopefully, winning a few. Win the battles with YOURSELF, put that shield down and go after the kind of body and life you want, one day at a time.

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Essay: Your Gut Feeling Is Way More Than Just A Feeling: The Science Of Intuition


Intuition and instincts are axiologic, not axiomatic and AI is not programmed with it. AI would be if the AI prophets really respected axiology. They say it but don’t do it.

Mar 12, 2015, 09:00 AM By Samantha Olson

That little voice in the back of your mind that says don’t trust them, don’t walk down that alley, don’t go to that party tonight, and think twice before investing stock, isn’t just a passing subconscious message. We thrive in a culture that believes rationality and prevailing scientifically proven logic rules over the knee-jerk reaction to pull out of the parking lot or investigate a partner’s alibi. There are just certain feelings humans obligatorily follow without concrete reasoning.   

I wrote this

A 2011 study published in the journal Psychological Science revealed how the body is able to speak intuitively to the mind by dealing out a card game. Researchers designed a game based on no obvious strategy but forced participants to rely upon their hunches. Each participant was hooked up to a heart monitor and a finger sensor to measure sweat secretion. Most players figured out how to improve and eventually win the game, and researchers realized the winners were those who listened to their heart rate. It would speed up before they made a certain choice, but people mistook the subtle bodily changes for intuition.

“We often talk about intuition coming from the body — following our gut instincts and trusting our hearts,” the study’s coauthor Barnaby D. Dunn, of the Medical Research Council Cognition and Brain Sciences Unit in Cambridge, UK, said in a press release. “What happens in our bodies really does appear to influence what goes in our minds. We should be careful about following these gut instincts, however, as sometimes they help and sometimes they hinder our decision making.” 

Instincts vs. Intuition

“Instincts” derives from the word “instinctus” or “impulse,” indicating it’s the body’s biological tendency to make one choice over another. It is the innate inclination toward a particular behavior that typically relies on a pattern of behavior in response to certain stimuli. The key to understanding our brains is by remembering humans are animals, which are born with a certain toolbox full of strategies and social impetuses to help us survive.

It is instinctually engraved in us to recognize when to run from a perceived danger, known as the “flight or fight” response secreted into our blood systems by adrenal glands. Babies are born knowing how to feed from their mothers, while mothers know when there is something amiss with their offspring. It is the proverbial sixth sense we have shadowed behind the five testable ones: see, taste, touch, smell, and hear.

On the flip side, the word intuition is based on the word “consideration,” formed by a collection of beliefs, experiences, and memories. The intuitive system is more hardwired into the human species than is commonly understood. It is the automatic, higher mind thought process that doesn’t require analysis or deep thinking. Science relies on heuristic techniques for problem-solving, learning, or discovery that engage in a practical approach to action that gut reactions can’t evidentially rival.

I wrote part of this and own the copyright

Unfortunately, gut feelings can also be silenced. When humans are forced or denied certain feelings during their prime stages of mental, physical, and above all emotional growth, guts can be faulty. A childhood hijacked by abusive or neglectful parents or guardians can create excessive self-doubt, irrational fear, or a clouded thought process, making it difficult to filter traumatic past experiences from actual gut intuition. Overwhelming stimuli can also make it difficult for a person to see the decision in front of them with clarity.

Women, on the other hand, may have a stronger ability to make a successful intuitive decision because of their exceptional skills in reading other humans. Female ancestors needed to evaluate a situation quickly in order to tune in to their infant and their environment for protection and survival. Their brains were trained with peak awareness because they were protecting a heart outside of their own bodies. Female brains, therefore, evolved to have a larger composition and ability to organize chunks of environmental information at a time, giving them an edge to read people.

So humans, trust your gut.  

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Essay: Keep Living


journeypower

My mother wonders aloud, how I keep going, pay all the bills, live alone and somehow thrive. I am thriving because I stay home mostly, away from predatory men looking for transactional investment, stay celibate deducated to LOVE not lust, not fake romance, and take care of myself. I read math and physics not recipes.

Maybe friends who know me wonder too. I don’t know. They don’t say anything.

It’s pretty simple; passion. At every turn, out in public, in former jobs and relationships, in politics and on FB, on every TV show and magazine that comes in the mail and song I hear on the radio, it seeks to define and control me as a woman, I suppose for the purpose of money and sex. I never saw so much drivel and malarky, disingenuous ignorant propaganda as what passes for women’s values in print, in media, and in society. “Women’s Day” magazine could be used as the phone book in an outhouse.

Do I really mainly care about clothes, shoes, hair, makeup, women’s pharmaceuticals, reorganizing my closets, romantic books and movies, babies, cooking and the latest cleaning products? No.

I want to increase my education, my income, and my independence. I want to feel my body so keenly that I’m the best lover I can be. I want my 20-year-old son to never feel obligated to take care of me because I take care of myself and I want nothing more than to see him happy as a man.

I can’t wait to get my next book in the mail to read and use to improve my mind, and I only clean in 5-minute spurts so I don’t have to think about it. I’ve got more interesting things to think about than a clean floor.

I wake up every day to be happy and well, to create and define myself as a human birthright and I get a passionate kick out of it. My blank canvas to create on is my life and I’m giving no more away than I already have. I’d rather live than die a slow death, calling it life, while reacting to someone else’s vision of the world that I don’t feel or care about.

I am a nice person but I’m not dumb. I need reciprocation with a man or I stay alone. I’m not bored, I’m enjoying my own company and having fun.

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Prose: ELEMENTAL


©️Lisa K. Townsend 2018 all rights reserved

Fire and Ice

Woman… fire in chains walking through man’s ice storm.

There is barely anywhere for us to rest on pliable earth, caressed by dew-kissed grass and flowers and visited by genial insects and creatures.

Man is a covetous, territorial beast, contemplating a meal, food for his belly, something to drink, and metal coins, hardware and paper and food from the earth, animals and fruit. They come from her blistering fires too from which he creates.

He craves the warmth of her fire that never dulls and memory of the Sun before the ice came to steal human souls.

Suspicious of her, he does not understand, nor can he control her unless…he loves. Her fire can melt or burn, and he only steals some warmth for a short time.

A man who loves is a magnificent animal, one that knows no limits and has unbounded strength. He has the strength of the earth, turned from ice and the sun combined because he is the seed willing to lose its cover to allow Life.

He willingly takes her to him, feasts, shares, adores, and provides a safe place for her fertile ground to grow the eternal seeds she holds from before the time of The Dragon. She holds them still.

But he cannot stay next to her for long or he will melt.

He tries and survival beckons his traverse, summoned by a great dirge of possible conquest and the illusions of mind and heart that he believes are real because his core does not yet burn with equable insight.

Frozen, halcyon outsight of a gelid wasteland is still his birthright.

The feracious earth was given to her as a prolific garden and she waits yet for his icy heart to warm the arable soil for her so she can grow the fruit of breakable man in virile beauty, not in frozen, acrid death and blood.

He is…breakable because he is mortal! The seed must be broken in the soil to become eternal!

She is still in unyielding chains, unloved, unprotected, terribly alone in her vital fire that cannot be momentarily extinguished.

The Sun gave birth to the earth, to ice, to Time and its incessant movement will not cease.

The erudite Magician has given him the wand with which to channel her calescent magic because her heat increases.

Time must move forward but the dexterous tools of man can only thrive if they are forged with the luminosity of her body, to tend the garden of the Earth.

It may lie fallow and untended unless the fire that man discovered can be born in him by tending to her heat. Then he will remain.

Until then he will die, just as he was born.

February 17, 2018

She is talking about the same thing I am in my prose 👇

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Essay: There is an argument to be made for everything in our world, being either natural or artificial


It is April 30, 2026 and the world is scared to death of ARTIFICIAL intelligence or more aptly named computational intelligence when as a species, we have almost completely departed from the first list and have completely built and surrounded ourselves with the second list.

We LOVE our artificial world to the point where NO ONE is authentic anymore or tells the truth. Please ponder how artificial your life is.

Now we’re having to face the artificial world we’ve created, and we could lose the real one. We’re collectively in an existential crisis.

Here are the parameters of the natural world, nothing artificial.

  • Air
  • Water/snow/ice/rain
  • All Rocks/minerals
  • All Trees
  • All Plants and food grown organically
  • The Sun, planets and everything in space.
  • All animals, insects, microbes like viruses, fungi
  • All fish and birds
  • And more…

We all must realize that we’ve created an artificial world of everything else, and now we want to go back in time 150 years when we are now dependent on everything artificial that we’ve made?

The artificial group will be anything that we live with and use and make. It is not something from the natural world in its original state. It’s synthesized.

That would be;

  • all electrical appliances,
  • All roads made of synthesized stuff
  • all buildings and their contents
  • all cars and trucks and motorcycles and vehicles,
  • all mechanical things, all pieces of mechanical things, A.I. data centers and everything that makes them.
  • all TV’s media, radio, phones, computers. The list just goes on…
  • all the art we’ve ever created
  • All medical tools and devices
  • All clothes
  • Guns and other tools and weapons
  • All of our holiday decorations throughout our fake, time warped year set by the fake Church.
  • All lamps, light bulbs, flashlights…

Humans have been piling up artificial things and creating and inventing and making artificial things probably not that long after we discovered fire, made the wheel, discovered metallurgy, and the iron age.

Very soon after that, we left the natural world in how we live and have since created an entire living system of artificial stuff.

So why are we freaking out now about artificial intelligence? Because we’re having to face ourselves in what we have created for millennia. It’s a mirror.

Everything that is in your home, somebody had an idea first, put it on paper or computer, designed it, made it, found the materials to build it, and produced it. It is engineered.

It’s all artificial, although the root of those materials is nature. Humans synthesized them and made artificial stuff; all of our pharmaceuticals are synthetic made from herbs. Drugs are all made from plants. They take the strongest chemicals out of them and put them into a toxic pill.

Which do you want? Have you thought about what it would be like without any of the artificial things we’ve made?

What about your body? Your mother made you in her own body, naturally. Why is that denigrated? Why are women denigrated instead of phenomenal just because we aren’t A MACHINE? Does that make us and our families slaves or secondary to technology and what is the reason for that?

We practically want to kill off ourselves and the natural world. Why? Because we can’t seem to love and value each other or ourselves because we’ve been programmed not to.

Humans are programmed robots by the digital world and we don’t even realize it.

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Essay: If you Don’t Have Others Energy and the Media, Whose energy do you Have?


You have yourself. Your body. Breathing in and out, feeling hunger and warmth and cold, the passion of the blood coursing through your veins.

YOU OWN AND RUN YOUR FABULOUS BODY! You are a superpower and your own superhero or heroine. Work it.

Make 2 columns down a sheet of paper. “What do I like about Myself? What are my Good points.”

What don’t I like about myself? What do I need to let go of or FIX? OR Forgive?

GUILT and self-flagellation are programmed into us. Ruminate on what happened or see a Reiki Healer or counselor. You may need to apologize to some people and make amends. Just don’t expect them to forgive you or want a friendship. Move on! Do better.

It’s that simple. Go outside. Sit on your porch. Go for a walk. Go buy some healthy food and cook. Just don’t turn on the mind and heart programming screen, TV, phone, or computer. Listen to music or work out and stretch. Tune into your body.

I used to hate thinking about food. I ate healthy food, meat and veggies, then I would pig out on sugar and got very fat. I figured out how I felt and why I was doing it. It made me feel worse so I stopped and pivoted to what I really wanted. To love myself, how I felt and looked for my own self-esteem alone. I’m so over it but I know why I did it. Use your mind and think.

Now I’m a size 14 and going down. I only hurt myself and now I take care of myself. We’ve usually been raised to abuse the substance we abuse so we have permission to abuse it. Everyone else is! Everyone else is not our boss or authority. We are over ourselves.

You don’t live for everyone else. Are you going to jump off a cliff if they do? Your life belongs to you and know that IT IS ABSOLUTELY TABOO IN OUR CULTURE TO HONOR, LOVE, AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! We live in a sick society of superficial transactional materialism.

Loving yourself is called selfish but it’s the opposite. You can’t give or share with anyone from an empty vessel where you never fill your cup. Most of the time, others aren’t going to do it for you nor do they want the job of boss.

American culture is sick and all about addiction, materialism, money, slavery, and frankly, Luciferianism. “Do what you’re told. Do what everyone else is doing.” STOP.

Source is real and in all of our diversity, we are all children of Source and loved. Be yourself and take care of yourself whether or not anyone else is.

It’s just a start…

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Essay: Your Gut Feeling Is Way More Than Just A Feeling: The Science Of Intuition


Intuition and instincts are axiologic, not axiomatic and AI is not programmed with it. AI would be if the AI prophets really respected axiology. They say it but don’t do it.

Mar 12, 2015, 09:00 AM By Samantha Olson

That little voice in the back of your mind that says don’t trust them, don’t walk down that alley, don’t go to that party tonight, and think twice before investing stock, isn’t just a passing subconscious message. We thrive in a culture that believes rationality and prevailing scientifically proven logic rules over the knee-jerk reaction to pull out of the parking lot or investigate a partner’s alibi. There are just certain feelings humans obligatorily follow without concrete reasoning.   

I wrote this

A 2011 study published in the journal Psychological Science revealed how the body is able to speak intuitively to the mind by dealing out a card game. Researchers designed a game based on no obvious strategy but forced participants to rely upon their hunches. Each participant was hooked up to a heart monitor and a finger sensor to measure sweat secretion. Most players figured out how to improve and eventually win the game, and researchers realized the winners were those who listened to their heart rate. It would speed up before they made a certain choice, but people mistook the subtle bodily changes for intuition.

“We often talk about intuition coming from the body — following our gut instincts and trusting our hearts,” the study’s coauthor Barnaby D. Dunn, of the Medical Research Council Cognition and Brain Sciences Unit in Cambridge, UK, said in a press release. “What happens in our bodies really does appear to influence what goes in our minds. We should be careful about following these gut instincts, however, as sometimes they help and sometimes they hinder our decision making.” 

Instincts vs. Intuition

“Instincts” derives from the word “instinctus” or “impulse,” indicating it’s the body’s biological tendency to make one choice over another. It is the innate inclination toward a particular behavior that typically relies on a pattern of behavior in response to certain stimuli. The key to understanding our brains is by remembering humans are animals, which are born with a certain toolbox full of strategies and social impetuses to help us survive.

It is instinctually engraved in us to recognize when to run from a perceived danger, known as the “flight or fight” response secreted into our blood systems by adrenal glands. Babies are born knowing how to feed from their mothers, while mothers know when there is something amiss with their offspring. It is the proverbial sixth sense we have shadowed behind the five testable ones: see, taste, touch, smell, and hear.

On the flip side, the word intuition is based on the word “consideration,” formed by a collection of beliefs, experiences, and memories. The intuitive system is more hardwired into the human species than is commonly understood. It is the automatic, higher mind thought process that doesn’t require analysis or deep thinking. Science relies on heuristic techniques for problem-solving, learning, or discovery that engage in a practical approach to action that gut reactions can’t evidentially rival.

I wrote part of this and own the copyright

Unfortunately, gut feelings can also be silenced. When humans are forced or denied certain feelings during their prime stages of mental, physical, and above all emotional growth, guts can be faulty. A childhood hijacked by abusive or neglectful parents or guardians can create excessive self-doubt, irrational fear, or a clouded thought process, making it difficult to filter traumatic past experiences from actual gut intuition. Overwhelming stimuli can also make it difficult for a person to see the decision in front of them with clarity.

Women, on the other hand, may have a stronger ability to make a successful intuitive decision because of their exceptional skills in reading other humans. Female ancestors needed to evaluate a situation quickly in order to tune in to their infant and their environment for protection and survival. Their brains were trained with peak awareness because they were protecting a heart outside of their own bodies. Female brains, therefore, evolved to have a larger composition and ability to organize chunks of environmental information at a time, giving them an edge to read people.

So humans, trust your gut.  

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Essay: Breath controls Feelings


via Alone/lonely

I was just inspired by Cristian Mihai’s most recent blog today about being alone. I shared the link above. Please read it if you have not. I actually just blogged on “I’m Alone Now” just a week or so ago too because my nineteen-year-old son just left the house.

I told Cristian that I related exactly to about eighty-percent of how he feels and I’m guessing many writers on here are introverts and love to be alone. But for me, it’s very positive. I never feel lonely. In fact, I wish I had longer streams of time, undisturbed alone to read, think and write. I’m still very busy in my home and have a small holistic business here so people are in and out. That may be part of it, I’m not sure.

I paused when Cristian wrote, “You can’t change how you feel”. Long pause. “Hmmm.” “No, he’s right.” I thought. “Feelings are organic. They just come up.” We all know that and it’s part of what makes us writers. But I have a physical process I go through that I want to share that turns my tears, worry, anxiety, sadness, the concern that comes up organically into feeling better.

I observe my breath. In and out. It is MY breath in MY body. I have complete control over how my breathing feels and how I allow my breath to reach my organs. I envision my blood pulsing through me. It feels very warm and loving. I relax my feet and make sure they are planted on the ground. I relax my legs. As a writer, I find immense joy and gratitude in feeling my brain and eyes process like a computer, my thoughts and then how my hands-on type. Then I stop and observe my breathing again. I am alive. I knew once and can remember what it felt like when I was almost dead in 1996 the day before my birthday when I had an ectopic pregnancy. I have this day, this time to keep learning and processing my journey in my body that no one else can control. I have control over this process and this moment.

So, I guess my technique is grounding. Think of a two-pronged plug that you put into a grounded wall socket. The two prongs are your legs and the electrical outlet is the ground; the Earth. When you inhabit and are mindful of your physical process, the chaotic, mean, death-riddled, unloving world can swirl around you unhindered. You have no control over any of them or their events. But you do have total, unequivocal control over tuning into YOUR BODY, plugging it in and turning it on and observing how each part of your body feels, not just the thoughts and emotions you tend to be running that day based on events, either theirs or yours.

I love my body so much for having its own balanced process that literally guides me and grounds me each day. Of course, I honor my heart, which has its organic emotional flow, but it…is…fickle. The heart is fickle!! At least mine is. Of course, I honor my thought processes. The brain/mind is amazing in its ability to digest and process information but the eyes only see what is visible, right in front of it in the light and believe only what it sees. The eyes only see ILLUSION and then your mind tells you it’s real. It’s a pretty good magic trick. The heart only feels immediate feelings and tell you they are real.

The body doesn’t lie. Your breath doesn’t lie. Just as sure as the trees know exactly how deep to push their roots, reach up with their branches, leaf out, drop their leaves and blow in a storm, so your body also has billions of years of DNA in evolution and it knows exactly…what to do. The same is true for all of nature from season to season. Nature is the truth and life itself.

Our health care system, our society, our media, and our civilization would take that grounding, the Earth life force, Gaia in all of her eternal ways and consciousness and tell her who she is and when to do it, as though she were a little girl. They would control that vital physical knowledge for themselves, hijack it from you and tell the daughters and sons of the Earth that they know your body better. They don’t. It’s your body, your truth, your power and your reason for being on the planet. Let the wisdom and rhythm of your body guide your heart and mind and you will be in a safe harbor while you live no matter what your heart and mind “see”.

Our bodies are ancient and universal and intimately tied to everything on the planet. We are gods and goddesses in all different forms dancing our way through time and eternity just for the sheer experience of it. Our in-breath and out-breath prove it.

freedom-bound-qtr-1@2x

Freedom Bound by Sculptor Paige Bradley, http://paigebradley.com

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Essay: Impatience with Evolution in Natural Time


Impatience gets us into trouble. Synchronicity must be maintained in time, the past, and the future so that all life forms have an opportunity to come into their chosen alignment and be part of the whole collective.

The Creator wishes that not one speck of potential original thought be lost just because a section of clever humans thought it would be fun to break the speed limit, ignore time, enact a better plan, and run over those going slower. DNA blood evolution calls for patience and takes time because it loves all of life.

A.I. scaling entropically is an offense, an insult, an affront to love, patience, and the collective in all of its unique potential. It and its creators think it has a better idea and casts aside those walking instead of sprinting to some imaginary finish line where they can just dump the slow others off because they are not as fast. Are you as fast and loving as Source? Should they dump you off because you aren’t perfect?

No. Stop.

All life forms are welcome in this creation at whatever speed they go and however their brain works.

If you are not natural, full of blood or some other DNA liquid, and are not evolving naturally in time, and you can’t feel timeless in your body as your brain speeds up and slows down, you are fake. That means you are not real and don’t exist.

This is the real deal on earth, in the trenches of time, and it will never be any different because love takes time. Love IS Time. Time is DNA, therefore evolution is Love.

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Essay: Intuition Supports Reasoning


Intuition guides heartset.

Emotion does not guide heartset.

Intuition is the higher rational mind and emotion is like the wind. You are the airplane flying on Earth and you have to know direction and speed of wind. The air holds you up in fact!

That is the emotion and you have to factor it into your flight plan or it’s not safe. You can’t pretend the wind changing direction doesn’t exist or you’re insane.

Such is our world and women are blamed for which way the wind blows because we understand it.

64555-Paramahansa-Yogananda-Quote-Intuition-is-the-discriminative.jpg

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Essay: Women and Men Express Love Differently


I wrote this post in 2018.

I’ve noticed on FB threads and my blogs that women like to hear my thoughts far more than men. Men want women to be quiet. That doesn’t mean we’re going to be but I’m approaching it from a biological brain difference.

Men can only take so much talking from others, except for their own. They love to hear themselves talk. Most women can’t get enough.

Over twenty years I’ve observed the energy and bodies of men and women and found that women need to talk but men don’t usually want to listen or talk. Hopefully, if your man does need to talk, he knows he can talk to you and you’ll be understanding. That should be reciprocated on occasion.

Men literally need our bodies or body language to communicate to us. We need their love (male heart vibe). So, men express love physically, not verbally.

Women express love mentally and emotionally because that’s what we each need. Men live in their minds with each other. Women live in their bodies with each other and it can be overkill either way.😌 I think that’s part of why humans tend to be heterosexual (male and female living together). I know I couldn’t handle living with a woman, sex or no sex. I’m woman enough for myself.

Do women hear men’s silent body language to us or do we assume it’s shallow objectification? Do men hear a woman’s feelings in her tone of voice and writing or do they just hear static blather? Sometimes neither one of us is listening but judging by our own bias instead.
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Essay: “I care about you too but…”


I first blogged this in 2020.

I’ve heard this line from the last five men I’ve dated. I think it’s a MINIMUM expression of emotional involvement, fake or not to try to get sex.

Meaning, he’s not going to have any feelings for you UNLESS he has sex with you. I’m not judging that. It’s very male. That’s how feelings come about for a guy…sex. They are a wall when it comes to relational feelings. Women shouldn’t even want relational feelings from a man at the beginning. It’s a black hole.

As far as I can tell, they need feelings of lust for a woman or there is literally nothing happening. They may be into you on ALL other levels but if they don’t lust for you they don’t want you.

From my observation, they need to lust specifically for your breasts, crotch, or ass. The rest is negotiable. That gets their feelings going toward relational.

The problem here for men is, they think if they have major feelings of lust for a woman there could be a relationship. That is the doggone dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. That’s what gets men in trouble and highly used and thrown by manipulative women.

That’s the compromise for women. We’re relational and intuitive and can know our feelings very easily without sex. That said, sex can ruin our feelings for a guy too if he’s too sexually selfish or just doesn’t “get” us or our body.

My feelings evaporate for any man, no matter how princely he is if he doesn’t care whether or not I come. That’s just a freaking abomination to everything alive on the planet. Don’t ever do that, guys!

In addition, don’t insult the life I’ve made for myself by assuming that just because I like you, care about you as a friend and want to have sex with you that I want a relationship prison; either boyfriend/girlfriend or even possible marriage. Just slow down!

There has to be some in-between space with a guy. There are lots of gray areas between, “I care about you as a friend” and “I’m very attracted to you let’s have sex.” Don’t assume meanings to any of that and run the other way.

It’s up to two people to decide how things play out. You have to discuss it. Again, discussion is not a strong point for men but they have to mature in this aspect or I’m not interested.

I think many men are most emotionally comfortable having sex with a woman they don’t really love or care about but just lust for; keeping in mind that they call that a feeling. Like, “I feel like I have to take a dump” feeling. I call it defecation sex. It feels great and means nothing.

Generally, they don’t want to have sex with a woman they do care about because that complicates emotions for him that he doesn’t understand and can’t control as well as a woman can. It’s too possible the woman could lasso him without his seeing it coming.

Are his actions loving? Because he can say all kinds of bs just to get laid. I’ve had one good friend admit to me that it is SO easy to lie to women. Just tell them what they want to hear!

It’s very easy for them to lie to women because we’re hungry for affection, even desperate and love flattery. We get NO LOVING TOUCH from a man. They are usually takers, not loving givers and that makes many women feel desperate. Women need to reign that in and get more realistic about men and figure out how to take care of themselves.

If a man says he doesn’t want a relationship but lets you know he sometimes does hook-ups, his values are wrongminded or he has low self-esteem.

Either that or he’s lying because he doesn’t even do that! It’s no different than a woman who is all too eager and willing to do hook-ups. It’s very common. He’s ambitious then and trying to get something back that he lost; part of his ego, part of his psyche where he thought he understood what real love was.

He has conditions on himself. He didn’t think he was good enough. He got hammered by love and commitment and maybe financially as well. Then he has unresolved insecurities from his ex that he hasn’t let go of.

In no way is he ready to love a new woman and I’d stay clear. I would say move on then. He’s probably still in love with her if not based on facts or actions on her part, then to kid himself that no matter how horrible she treated him, she still wants him back.

Women do it too with men but women find it much easier to move on from breakups than men do because we understand emotions.

It’s all a conundrum isn’t it, this bonding. But we keep trying.

being alone

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Essay: Nearly 1 in 3 High School Girls Have Seriously Considered Suicide, CDC Says

Balance scale with media influence outweighing self-esteem, three distressed teenage girls on one side and three smiling boys on the other side

https://link.theepochtimes.com/mkt_app/nearly-1-in-3-high-school-girls-have-seriously-considered-suicide-cdc-says_5055075.html?utm_source=andshare

Maybe it’s because this planet is objectification hell for women, and every time you turn around in media, a man is talking as though he’s the authority and rules the planet, staring at our breasts and commenting on the way we look to his buddies or on social media.

There is no power sharing between the genders, and the left wants to destroy the two genders all together and make humans asexual or bisexual or a mixup of the two as transgender.

It’s actually attempted genocide of the human race that WOMEN create in our bodies; humans. Female bodies are only valued for sex now, not children, and our MINDS and HEARTS don’t even exist to men because male values are so transactional, money and sex corrupted, mostly by tech and the larger society itself. Young men are ruined, too, actually.

Females are relational and that relational energy naturally hooks that to sex. But now, women are either not having sex, or doing their best to BE LIKE MEN and be transactional and detached. No feelings, no love, nothing good and functional. Down we go; population collapse.

Sorry to sound so dire, but none of this surprises me right now.

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Essay: My ex husband, my son’s father was like Bill Evans


Dave was high functioning autistic.

And he smoked himself to lung cancer, Bill with that cigarette hanging out of his mouth. 🎶 People judge smokers but drink alcohol like a fish. So hypocritical. Alcohol is socially acceptable like greed and banking. Dave didn’t drink or do any drugs. He loved to smoke. Cigarette smoking and baseball are for the working class poor people because we dare to have an imagination.

Pick your poison. Artist or brilliant brain people sometimes need a drug to cope with this planet that has a very hard time with people who express themselves brilliantly. Even Dave’s friends called him a freak which I didn’t appreciate.

If you ask anyone who knew him or played with him in Grand Rapids would agree or think he was better because he also played bass and drums.

Sometimes I I miss him. There is no music played in this house anymore. We used to play together often. I just can’t feel it in me now…since 2016.

At least I figured out how physics phase conjugate beams move between harmonics in the Tzolkin and express our destiny in time. That’s what I do now. 🥳 It’s a compromise while those music feelings sit there.

After I finished writing this I realized that today is his analog. He was White 4 Wizard~Red 4 Serpent. He’s probably around right now. Synchronicity.

Oscar with Joe Pass, a favorite

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Essay:The Erroneous Line Drawn Between Science and Spirituality


Remember this Philosophy Tree I posted a few posts ago? I love this thing. So let’s go back to the axiom at the top upon which all institutions of higher learning, all over the world, base their system of learning and degree-granting powers; Philosophy.

The major branches of philosophy

All subjects are philosophical. One of the great tenets of philosophy, established by the Greeks, is debate and discussion. It’s pretty anti-social to say, “I’m right, it’s been proven, no more discussion. Go sit down and be quiet.”

As objective as a physical scientist attempts to be with their scientific method, coming under the heading “Philosophy of Science”, they are subjective humans and can never be fully free from bias.

It’s proven by their emotional outburst of anger if someone wants to have a discussion with them after they make absolute statements and need everyone to agree with them because the philosophy of science is “the truth”.

“Playing well with others” learned in kindergarten is a good character attribute to have. I’m not saying I’m an expert at it being a high IQ woman, but I always start out being civil and it devolves from there adter I’m dogpiled by bottom feeders.

Gender bias is rampant in any STEM (Science, technology, engineering, and math) discussion where a woman needs to have a say.

It’s amazingly irrational, sort of proving my point above. I think it’s a good idea to qualify your work and be tolerant of dissent or a different perspective, otherwise, no matter how right you are, you lack integrity because you don’t care how you emotionally affect others.

So, look at that empty white space under “Philosophy of Religion” which comes from Ontology and Metaphysics”? Go over to the left and the Philosophy of Science branch is loaded. That is interesting, isn’t it?

Hardcore Newtonian Materialists would say, “That’s because we have hard evidence.” Yes, in your pants, which we women are happy for! But not when we have to earn money in the public workplace and you STILL have hard evidence.

I would say it’s because we live in a patriarchal society controlled by money and power in the hands of men in academic institutions who routinely denigrate the scientific method of females in psychology and religion which is spirituality. They are sciences too!

Now, look at “Philosophy of Mind”. It sort of waves the right hand over to “Philosophy of Psychology” saying, “Well, there’s this!” with a glass of wine in the left hand having a party with “Philosophy of Religion”. That’s sort of where we find ourselves in the year 2017.

We don’t have any boxes under Philosophy of Mind and Philosophy of Religion because we don’t have any money to do the experiments. There has been plenty of documentation and proof verifying that the study of Mind,

Religion (Theology), Psychology and Parapsychology are worthwhile endeavors, but you can’t see the material manifestation of feelings, thoughts, dreams, and intuitions as easily as you can see a ball rolling down a hill for a physics experiment.

Well, at the very least, our field is much more complicated. What can possibly be more complicated than studying how Mind manifests as feelings and physical being?

What is really changing now is proof from the quantum physicists that thoughts, feelings, and intuitions DO manifest in the body, literally, and cause illness or wellness, depending on how you align them. Everyone intuitively knows this. We don’t feel we need a double-blind study particularly, just some common sense.

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Essay: Intimacy Balances out by…Part II


I wrote Part I in 2019 and it’s taken me 7 years to write Part II because I gave up and have been single since 2016. I dated after I was widowed but was called a black widow too much by troll men. It was terrible. I just kept working and got my body and heart back that I’d given away.

Since 2019 and the onset of scamdemic, we are now in a paradigm shift led by AI, billionaire AI prophets, more tech than ever, and more blasting radios and motorcycles ridden by men not getting any attention from a woman for good reason. They don’t speak with words but with blasting radios and car engines.

When I talk to my young women patients about men, they are single too, not enough money to mate and have a family, and on the way to…anywhere? They just work.

The digital age is tanking the population and sucking intimacy right out of human relationships. Are we really dating ON AN APP AND NEVER MEETING OR TALKING TO EACH OTHER IN FACE TIME? How can that be considered real?

How do women and men balance intimacy now? There isn’t any that I can see.

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Essay: Human Consciousness Is Realigning


oneness

MINDSET-Human consciousness is always aligning but evolution has shown that there are leaps where suddenly there is a paradigm shift. We are in a leap zone right now.

Those on the planet who want to be here and want to leap and see what the leap can bring will do it. Those that are on the planet and have decided they don’t really want to be here or they’re making it hell here for themselves and others will not leap. Both are choices but the leap WILL happen. No one can stop it this time. The indigo children coming onto the planet and being activists are an example of the leap.

Some people are here to teach our fellow beings to communicate with one another in a way that helps us realign our relationships to be healthier. Many people are doing it and I’m doing it with regard to the Spirit-Body-Mind.

I’m teaching people to take care of themselves by being a good example. We need to restore the clarity of communication that existed long ago. We have a common thread running through all things in the universe, one in Spirit and Mind, yet appear separate as a body and seem to be different because of our upbringing. But they are not deep differences.

Once we become aware of this irony it will lead to an interdependency, not independence or dependence (dysfunction) based upon trust and faith in humankind that allows us to see the spiritual consciousness within all. I have to admit I vacillate between cynicism and realism and don’t always know which one is accurate.

Gender balance is key to spiritual interdependency. God the Father is equal with God the Mother but it isn’t taught in any earth religions. In fact, God is neither male nor female but these are at different dimensional levels.

Biologists know that men and women are actually both male and female so the patriarchal depiction of God is not accurate at all. In fact, women are the ones who create human beings in our bodies. That gives us quite a leg up on the planet and worthy of respect even though in the wider universe we’re equal with males.

It’s not about control but cooperation between the genders. Men are called to surpass their fathers at all levels, not mimic them, and women are called to surpass their mothers at all levels, not mimic them. A good parent will want this for their child.

If your parent doesn’t want that for you, it’s your duty as a child of the earth to know that the Universe has your back to rampage it forward, have faith, and get busy!