Category: Females

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Essay; The “No Relationship Agreement”, Like a Pre-Nup only it’s a Pre-Sex


presexual agreement

This is the antonym of “The Relationship Agreement” first suggested on the show “The Big Bang Theory” by Sheldon Cooper. At this point, it’s just an idea but it would make me feel better if men knew my boundaries before I date them. I’m interested in sex and Love but not being a man’s territory for his status ambitions.

They also can’t power trip and insult me like I’m an emotional, needy girl that falls in love when I have sex with a man. I don’t. That’s younger girls, not older women. Nor do I care what previous women have expected of him.l, loke his patriarchally derived money for instance. I control myself. I have zero time or interest in being a dog-trainer because I’m not a bitch.

It can be widely observed that women are treated like “capital”, territory, objects to be owned or sold like a slave as in sex-trafficking, married for status under the guise of love that usually only lasts for ten years, and possessed by a man like a house or a car. Or, used for sex and thrown to the curb with no feelings whatsoever. That is factual in our society.

I strongly feel this agreement is appropriate for women and men over 50 since it is not ideal that either of them reproduces. The main purpose of marriage is protective reproduction. After 50, there is no point of marriage and most professionals agree.

Most females that don’t pander to patriarchy function socially and biologically under the values of Love and Freedom, that have a spiritual foundation, not ownership because we make humans in our bodies which is sacred. Our sex energy is stronger and more important than the male because everything in our body automatically makes a human being. We hold the species in our hearts. We don’t need to dink around with A.I. or technology or cross-dressing to fantasize about being a woman; we live it. It’s true that the egg and the sperm are equal in needing to conceive but the fact that the woman alone does the rest means that the sexual energy we share with a man is a BIG PROFIT to him. It gives him some of eternity whether he realizes it or not.

They take our sex energy and more and don’t give much back because maybe they don’t have as much to give as women do. They try to use money to substitute.

Males and thus patriarchy are cashing in on women who don’t realize what big sexual energy we have that rivals males and men don’t understand why we give it away. Like Bruno Mars sings, “Your sex takes me to Paradise.” If he’s not having sex, he feels like he’s been locked out of heaven! That song says it all as do many other songs with men expressing their deep feelings about how dependent they are on our bodies for happiness. Swimming in our bodies is apparently something spiritual. Women just shake their heads because to us it’s just normal and men get dramatic about it!

Most women love giving their sex energy but not to the point of bankruptcy. It’s getting to the bankrupt point on this planet and it’s up to women to stop the hemorrhage.

If you think about a woman’s body like a bank account, women are letting men rob the bank.

Prostitution starts to make men pay for a loan but only scratches the surface. Men need to start to pay their own way on the Earth in the form of Love so this agreement is my idea to start in that direction. I don’t know if it’s possible. Maybe it’s like trying to get blood from a turnip.

Please note that I’m not suggesting a “No Love”, “No intimacy” agreement. In fact, women are the opposite. The “No-relationship” agreement is a first step to legally and socially protect a woman from becoming the territory of a man and her energy being owned only by herself, thus guarding her sexual energy for future generations of humans and possibly saving the species.

Women are being abused, used, trafficked, raped and denigrated everywhere on the planet and it’s gotta stop. Male, patriarchal institutions are trying to kill the species. That’s the opposite of everything women are about.

The No-Relationship Agreement

This must be initialed by both parties (herein called the fucker and the fuckee whose roles can swap) before having sex. Sex is never an obligatory act once enacted. We are still both totally free. Human beings don’t possess one another; we bond through love. ___________

  1. You agree not to ask me to be your girl/boyfriend._________
  2. You agree not to ask me to marry you._________
  3. You agree that if we discuss it at length, after some time, and agree, we can be monogamous lovers but still not be in a formal relationship that suggests territory. Once initialed, we agree that neither of us will bring another sexual partner into our home if we live together and agree to be monogamous lovers. ________
  4. If one changes their mind and doesn’t want to be monogamous lovers there is no obligation or punishment forthwith. We are both free agents and will go our own way.__________
  5. Under no circumstances does one ever tell the other one what to do. We can ask but never command.____________
  6. We both have and control our own money.__________
  7. Either of us can ask for a 3-way but never expect it.__________
  8. We both agree that digital sex is only occasional or just goofing around. Neither one of us engages in it with anyone as a predominant mode of sex. We agree that sex without a body is unhealthy and dumb.__________
  9. If we want to go out together just ask the other one. There is no obligation and we can ask someone else to go with us, female or male._________
  10. Public designation without #3 is “friends”.____________
  11. Public designation with #3 is “partner”._____________
  12. If one falls in love with the other because they’ve lost their mind, the other one has permission to bolt. We agree not to call the police or missing person.__________

It’s an idea. When a man I date actually initials it I’ll let you know. It would mean his intent is to love and give something back and not use my sexual energy.

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Essay; Camille Paglia-Some Great Reading for the Weekend (Freebie)


Camille-Paglia

Click here for the full interview for your reading pleasure this weekend.

Camille Paglia-EXCELLENT!

Paglia is an essayist, author, and professor of humanities at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia, where she has taught since 1984. She completed her Ph.D. at Yale under the supervision of Harold Bloom, author of The Western Canon. Her first book, Sexual Personae: Art and Decadence, from Nefertiti to Emily Dickinson, was listed by David Bowie as one of “100 books we should all read.” 

Her other books include Break, Blow, Burn, a close-reading of 43 classic poems, and Glittering Images: A Journey Through Art from Egypt to Star Wars. In recent years, her essays have been collected and published in new editions, including Free Women, Free Men: Sex, Gender, and Feminism (February 2018) and Provocations: Collected Essays on Art, Feminism, Politics, Sex, and Education, which was released by Pantheon in October 2018.

“I thought Derrida and DeMan and the rest of that crew were arrant nonsense from the start, a pedantic diversion from direct engagement with art. About the obsequious Yale welcome given to the prattlings of one continental “star” visitor, I acidly remarked to a fellow grad student sitting next to me, “They’re like high priests murmuring to each other.”

Love it.

“Nevertheless, the poisons of post-structuralism have now spread throughout academe and have done enormous damage to basic scholarly standards and disastrously undermined belief even in the possibility of knowledge. I suspect history will not be kind to the leading professors who appear to have put loyalty to friends and colleagues above defending scholarly values during a chaotic era of overt vandalism that has deprived several generations of students of a profound education in the humanities. The steady decline in humanities majors is an unmistakable signal that this once noble field has become a wasteland.”

Anything focused on real intelligence, literacy, and human beings have been thrown to the wayside.  Mediocrity or below rules the day.

“The headlong rush to judgment by so many well-educated, middle-class women in the #MeToo movement has been startling and dismaying. Their elevation of emotion and group solidarity over fact and logic has resurrected damaging stereotypes of women’s irrationality that were once used to deny us the vote. I found the blanket credulity given to women accusers during the recent U.S. Senate confirmation hearings for Brett Kavanaugh positively unnerving: it was the first time since college that I truly understood the sexist design of Aeschylus’s Oresteia, whose mob of vengeful Furies is superseded by formal courts of law, where evidence is weighed.”

WOW!!

“What I see spreading among professional middle-class women is a bitter resentment toward men that is in many cases unjust and misplaced. With divorce so easy since the sexual revolution, women find themselves competing with younger women in new and cruel ways. Agrarian women gained power as they aged: young women were brainless pawns whose marriages, pregnancies, childcare, cooking, and other chores were acerbically supervised and controlled by the dictatorial crones (forces of nature whom I fondly remember from childhood).

In short, #MeToo from a historical perspective is a cri de coeur from women who are realizing that the sexual revolution that many of us had once ecstatically embraced has in key ways devalued women, confused their private relationships, and complicated their smooth functioning in the workplace. It’s time for a new map of the gender world.”

She’s speakin’ it. On many points, I agree with her. Crack a book, folks; female and male.

 

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Essay: Can We Love One Another Without Traditional Bonding?


It depends on how you define bonding which I address below. In spiritual circles, we say, “Love at all times”. So the heart is always open, to everyone and we are protected by Spirit and use our intuition as a guide so there is no fear. We still have to be discerning about how we express love. For indeed, there is no fear in Love. So, that’s the idea. Many highly spiritual people succeed in this so I know it’s possible.

Like all good ideas, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t; boots on the ground kind of thing. When I put this to the test in my relationships with men and women I’d like to have a more specific plan since I’m a lover and a giver. My cup is always full and I need to empty it. That’s why I’m a giver. The last thing I need is more offloading, vampires, users, fakers and very unstable in my space looking for love that they need to find within and can find within. That’s when my cup empties quickly. That’s where discernment comes in.

How can we keep a strong boundary as empaths and lovers?

  1. If you truly love the other person, you accept where they are on the Self-Love spectrum. Don’t rush in where angels fear to tread. Instead, observe their behavior. Are they intuitive with you as you are with them? Are they emotionally sensitive to you when you need a shoulder or a hug or just to talk? They can give to you if they give to their own Self. Also, how much do they talk about their family? Are they still enslaved by a toxic family and defined by their toxic projection onto them? This issue is epidemic. Reiki aligns it.
  2. Do you love your own body enough so that when you have sex, you don’t suck energy from the other person but just “share” who you are? If you truly love your body you will just enjoy each other’s bodies, you won’t feel the need to possess the other. The other person can feel it if you do that.
  3. Is your conversation and dynamic peaceful with the other person? Or are there feelings of tension, or one person does all the talking all the time while the other one listens. Do they ask you how YOU are or is it always about them?

Intuition comes into play here more than reason. Studies have shown that humans highly communicate through body language. Everybody has different feelings but it’s not others job to figure you out. It’s your job to figure you out and know how you feel. It’s called maturity and mindfulness. You are the one IN your relationship, other’s are not or should not be, so they are of no use coming to a decision, ultimately. Our friends can be a sounding board for our own feelings though. That’s what friends are for; not to tell you what to do in a relationship.

How do we define bonding?

  1. “I miss you when you’re not here.” You’re bonded
  2. ” I need you next to me in bed”. You’re bonded
  3. “I need to talk to you to feel secure.” You’re bonded
  4. “I want to be with you more or most of the time.” You’re bonded

The list can go on but it’s always, “I need”, “I want” like a child. As an adult, you are able to regulate feelings of need and want via your brain. If your brain isn’t regulating it, put boots on the ground again and get exercising, moving, eating healthy and drinking water. It’s that simple. Just do it and stop pondering it.

I think bonded is a misnomer. I’d say you’re latched on, like a baby breastfeeding on its mother or a small child getting the affirmation and attention that they need from their father. All of this is the subconscious mind repeating unresolved patterns with the birth parents. That’s the main problem in our society. We need to release subconscious programming and become adults in our conscious program that we design for ourselves.

Can women keep their feelings during sex and not bond? How?

Realize that your feelings are for yourself. The man is barely absorbing them or feeling them anyway because all he feels is your body. While it’s true that the body is your feelings and thoughts, being mentally aware of your feelings is a higher level of cognition that women have. Most men don’t have it. They haven’t evolved the skill of knowing how they feel past being hungry or horny. It’s unbelievable to women but it reminds me of Hermione in Harry Potter when she referred to Ron as having the emotional range of a teaspoon. And it’s unfair for women to expect most men to be any different. That’s like asking women not to have breasts. Of course, we have breasts. It’s natural.

I would say “Yes”, we can love one another without traditional bonding but it’s not realistic to expect others to be able to. 98% of humans bond to one another and thus we have all the problems that we do on earth. People follow each other instead of their inner knowing. I personally think we need to grow past that but I certainly don’t expect it. True unity happens when we are all naturally sitting in our center. The fact is, we’re already bonded with all of life in the physical as one big family of Life. Just relax into that instead of adding another layer of latching on.

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Essay; Making Love Vs. Just…Doing It.


Kiss Me

I am very intuitive with my body and I believe most women are as well. Now that I’m dating again, I’m seeing that I set the tone for how things are going to proceed physically. That’s because it’s incredibly taboo for a man to force the situation. You really need our permission and to know we’re relaxed in order for you to be successful. We know that. It’s actually a little bit of pressure on the woman because as they say; “Women give sex to get a relationship and men give a relationship in order to get sex”. But what’s happening now is women are willing to give men their body without a relationship and many women don’t even want a relationship anymore because the men aren’t really capable of one. That, and online porn is free. Women never get their relationship no matter what they do. Everything is just at low-level sex and means nothing. The women are done trying to go to the mat and fight for it when the truth is, we’re doing an awful lot and dog training too! I never would which is why my marriages ended. It was too much work and I’ve never had a dog. I’m a cat person.

We have to assess you and figure out how much relationship time you can stomach before we give in to sex. Man is that tricky because every guy has a different threshold of relationship skill and patience. We’re thinking that way while you’re thinking, “How can I get her to have sex with me now?” because that’s how men “do relationship”. We know you’re thinking that. I don’t judge it. I feel it’s the way men’s brains are programmed, just like women are programmed to bond and we need to accept it about you. Neither of us is better than the other one but we’re each going to try to get our way to gauge the situation.

That’s a little bit of a generalization but most women care about bonding, feelings, and a relationship in equal ratio with men caring about sex. The women who don’t remind me of Samantha Jones on “Sex and The City”. She’s pretty much masculinized in a feminine outfit on that show. That’s what happens when women adopt values that are patriarchal in nature and highly attributable to men. They want no bonding and nothing to do with a relationship. If a guy even asks to see her again or wants to stay over she gets upset. Yes, men want some relationship and she doesn’t even want that! I’m wondering if women are actually moving more toward that now?

As a woman, I feel like it’s important for men to know that hardly any woman on the planet just wants to fuck. We want to make love! Sadly, many women have given up and lead desperate lives in a fallow garden of never having sex the way they need it if they are with a man. It’s because the women won’t take it upon themselves to teach you what to do for them by doing it to you. If you don’t pay attention and learn something from her cues, how she’s touching, what her body is doing, and a bunch of other stuff, you won’t keep her. She will either put on layers and stop taking care of herself because she needs your money, cheat on you, or divorce you. Women need to let you know what they want, how they want to be made love to by how she touches you! I’m sorry, but men don’t know squat. It’s not in your nature! Club hands.

Here’s to everyone making more Love baby! Love your own body, love your partner’s body and let them know by how you touch them and speak to them.