Category: Men

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Essay: If you Don’t Have Others Energy and the Media, Whose energy do you Have?


You have yourself. Your body. Breathing in and out, feeling hunger and warmth and cold, the passion of the blood coursing through your veins.

YOU OWN AND RUN YOUR FABULOUS BODY! You are a superpower and your own superhero or heroine. Work it.

Make 2 columns down a sheet of paper. “What do I like about Myself? What are my Good points.”

What don’t I like about myself? What do I need to let go of or FIX? OR Forgive?

GUILT and self-flagellation programmed into us. Ruminate on what happened or see a Reiki Healer or counselor. You may need to apologize to some people and make amends. Just don’t expect them to forgive you or want a friendship. Move on! Do better.

It’s that simple. Go outside. Sit on your porch. Go for a walk. Go buy some healthy food and cook. Just don’t turn on the mind and heart programming screen. Listen to music or work out and stretch.

I used to hate thinking about food. I ate healthy food, fruits, and veggies, then I would pig out on sugar and got very fat. I figured out how I felt and why I was doing it. It made me feel worse so I stopped and pivoted to what I really wanted. I’m so over it but I know why I did it. Use your mind and think.

Now I’m a size 14 and going down. I only hurt myself and now I take care of myself. We’ve usually been raised to abuse the substance we abuse so we have permission to abuse it. Everyone else is! Everyone else is not our boss or authority. We are over ourselves.

You don’t live for everyone else. Are you going to jump off a cliff if they do? Your life belongs to you and know that IT IS ABSOLUTELY TABOO IN OUR CULTURE TO HONOR, LOVE, AND.TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! We live in a sick society of superficial transactional materialism.

Loving yourself is called selfish but it’s the opposite. You can’t give or share with anyone from an empty vessel where you never fill your cup. Most of the time, others aren’t going to do it for you nor do they want the job of boss.

American culture is sick and all about addiction, materialism, money, slavery, and frankly, Luciferianism. “Do what you’re told. Do what everyone else is doing.” STOP.

Source is real and in all of our diversity, we are all children of Source and loved. Be yourself and take care of yourself whether or not anyone else is.

It’s just a start…

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Essay: Breath controls Feelings


via Alone/lonely

I was just inspired by Cristian Mihai’s most recent blog today about being alone. I shared the link above. Please read it if you have not. I actually just blogged on “I’m Alone Now” just a week or so ago too because my nineteen-year-old son just left the house.

I told Cristian that I related exactly to about eighty-percent of how he feels and I’m guessing many writers on here are introverts and love to be alone. But for me, it’s very positive. I never feel lonely. In fact, I wish I had longer streams of time, undisturbed alone to read, think and write. I’m still very busy in my home and have a small holistic business here so people are in and out. That may be part of it, I’m not sure.

I paused when Cristian wrote, “You can’t change how you feel”. Long pause. “Hmmm.” “No, he’s right.” I thought. “Feelings are organic. They just come up.” We all know that and it’s part of what makes us writers. But I have a physical process I go through that I want to share that turns my tears, worry, anxiety, sadness, the concern that comes up organically into feeling better.

I observe my breath. In and out. It is MY breath in MY body. I have complete control over how my breathing feels and how I allow my breath to reach my organs. I envision my blood pulsing through me. It feels very warm and loving. I relax my feet and make sure they are planted on the ground. I relax my legs. As a writer, I find immense joy and gratitude in feeling my brain and eyes process like a computer, my thoughts and then how my hands-on type. Then I stop and observe my breathing again. I am alive. I knew once and can remember what it felt like when I was almost dead in 1996 the day before my birthday when I had an ectopic pregnancy. I have this day, this time to keep learning and processing my journey in my body that no one else can control. I have control over this process and this moment.

So, I guess my technique is grounding. Think of a two-pronged plug that you put into a grounded wall socket. The two prongs are your legs and the electrical outlet is the ground; the Earth. When you inhabit and are mindful of your physical process, the chaotic, mean, death-riddled, unloving world can swirl around you unhindered. You have no control over any of them or their events. But you do have total, unequivocal control over tuning into YOUR BODY, plugging it in and turning it on and observing how each part of your body feels, not just the thoughts and emotions you tend to be running that day based on events, either theirs or yours.

I love my body so much for having its own balanced process that literally guides me and grounds me each day. Of course, I honor my heart, which has its organic emotional flow, but it…is…fickle. The heart is fickle!! At least mine is. Of course, I honor my thought processes. The brain/mind is amazing in its ability to digest and process information but the eyes only see what is visible, right in front of it in the light and believe only what it sees. The eyes only see ILLUSION and then your mind tells you it’s real. It’s a pretty good magic trick. The heart only feels immediate feelings and tell you they are real.

The body doesn’t lie. Your breath doesn’t lie. Just as sure as the trees know exactly how deep to push their roots, reach up with their branches, leaf out, drop their leaves and blow in a storm, so your body also has billions of years of DNA in evolution and it knows exactly…what to do. The same is true for all of nature from season to season. Nature is the truth and life itself.

Our health care system, our society, our media, and our civilization would take that grounding, the Earth life force, Gaia in all of her eternal ways and consciousness and tell her who she is and when to do it, as though she were a little girl. They would control that vital physical knowledge for themselves, hijack it from you and tell the daughters and sons of the Earth that they know your body better. They don’t. It’s your body, your truth, your power and your reason for being on the planet. Let the wisdom and rhythm of your body guide your heart and mind and you will be in a safe harbor while you live no matter what your heart and mind “see”.

Our bodies are ancient and universal and intimately tied to everything on the planet. We are gods and goddesses in all different forms dancing our way through time and eternity just for the sheer experience of it. Our in-breath and out-breath prove it.

freedom-bound-qtr-1@2x

Freedom Bound by Sculptor Paige Bradley, http://paigebradley.com

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Essay: Women and Men Express Love Differently


I wrote this post in 2018.

I’ve noticed on FB threads and my blogs that women like to hear my thoughts far more than men. Men want women to be quiet. That doesn’t mean we’re going to be but I’m approaching it from a biological brain difference.

Men can only take so much talking from others, except for their own. They love to hear themselves talk. Most women can’t get enough.

Over twenty years I’ve observed the energy and bodies of men and women and found that women need to talk but men don’t usually want to listen or talk. Hopefully, if your man does need to talk, he knows he can talk to you and you’ll be understanding. That should be reciprocated on occasion.

Men literally need our bodies or body language to communicate to us. We need their love (male heart vibe). So, men express love physically, not verbally.

Women express love mentally and emotionally because that’s what we each need. Men live in their minds with each other. Women live in their bodies with each other and it can be overkill either way.😌 I think that’s part of why humans tend to be heterosexual (male and female living together). I know I couldn’t handle living with a woman, sex or no sex. I’m woman enough for myself.

Do women hear men’s silent body language to us or do we assume it’s shallow objectification? Do men hear a woman’s feelings in her tone of voice and writing or do they just hear static blather? Sometimes neither one of us is listening but judging by our own bias instead.
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Essay; a middle-aged, healthy woman gives up nothing during sex; she gains


zoosk

I wrote this blog in 2019, 6 years ago. I haven’t dated since then. It’s 2026.

This article is so interesting as far as the male psyche goes. I had to read several sections a few times to understand it and I still need to mull it over.

Men Lose Respect for Women With Whom They Have Sex

“Some men and many women have been socialized into thinking that the woman gives up something during sex. This speaks to the male’s vision of conquest. He believes that he has said or done something to make the woman give in to him. He knows his true intentions are less than honorable, and so he projects his own internal sense of unworthiness onto the female by saying it is she, not him, who is worthless, easy, fast, desperate, stupid, etc. for falling prey to his advances. This kind of thinking completely strips the woman from having any natural right to her sexual desires and her choice to act upon such desires.” Butbthe men are always free to?

It doesn’t matter to me what attitude the man has. I can only control what I am and that’s relational. Besides, we have no way of knowing for sure if the man is transactional or relational until we take it for a test drive. Plus they lie a lot. If he keeps coming back, it’s relational. If not, good to find out early before you’re in too deep and walk. Sex is tricky though. 🙄

The men don’t always say it’s the woman. My date felt guilty about himself because we were extremely lusty with each other. I never feel guilty about my body or sex so he was alone in that.

But that last sentence is not something I’ve ever allowed but always wondered why my attitude wasn’t going anywhere. The energy would just fall flat so it seems it’s true. We are not empowered as women ruling over our own body yet, fully by societal rules.

I’m dating on Zoosk again, having learned a few things the first time around with middle-aged men. I’ve had two bizarre dates in one week.

The nice part was both men were very good looking, showed up, and we had good talks. The matching theme was they were both still hung up emotionally on past women and felt the woman broke their heart. They barely had anything good to say about her and blamed her for the end of things.

I didn’t stand a chance to even start anything with either one of them. So why did they date me? One was just to talk and the other was horny and wanted sex. Usage.

This was months or years ago and they hadn’t gotten over it. I’ve always conjectured that men get far more emotionally attached in a steady relationship with a woman but my experience with these men proves it. Guys are squishy!

The second thing is they tend to feel guilty about their sexuality probably because it’s so easy for them to just f*k and not be emotionally involved at all or so society says. I think they deplore themselves to a certain extent just because it so natural to them.

I’ve even conjectured that men prefer to have sex with bad, cruel women because it’s a turn on for a man with low self-esteem which is many of them. They’re not really attracted to happy, lovely women.

The younger men who are looking for a mate and mother for his children will look for a woman like that to marry because she is acceptable to his family but then choose a racier, wild woman on the side.

It serves his desire for novelty. It’s not that he doesn’t love his wife, it’s that she’s too busy with the kids to be sexually deviant, to keep him entertained, and may not be a lusty type of woman.

Third, they were both pretty depressed, not happy campers. They both hinted at being lonely and talked about their kids and family far more than I did.

I am the opposite of all of that so none of that sits well with me with a guy. Now that I think of it, every man I’ve been married to or dated has told me he’s depressed. It’s an epidemic. Not so with women. Women tend to be happy or know how to make themselves happy. I’m happy generally speaking and doing very well single.

“Women are perceived as being a threat simply because of their desirability. One facet to explore would be that the male ego is built upon a need or a drive to conquer, to expand, to be strong, to be dominant, etc and in the end, it is the female whom the male inevitably feels weak to.”

This quote applies directly to a good friend that I really like and am attracted to who is out of state. He’s as much as said this and I’ve been confused by it for ten months.

The last thing I’ve ever tried to do with a man is to control him. I don’t have time or desire to conduct a man’s life yet he keeps saying women are so controlling. Which woman?

What kind of women has he been in a relationship with? Weak ones with no life and no ambition, no dreams, no brains? Co-dependent ones? I’m looking at that far away in the rear view mirror.

“Men are quite aware of how much we mean to them and this need for us can easily be misconstrued as being a weakness. So what do men do about their weakness? What do they do about things that they feel are beyond their wilful control? They try to deny their vulnerability while forcing their will. Thus women have many rules, stigmas, religious guidelines and laws to ensure that we are kept in a psychological position of subservience. It is no secret that most men do not like to even think of the woman of their affection being with another man. (possession) Fear causes men to manipulate women into denying their feminine desires which in turn causes us to feel guilty and sinful for certain behaviors.”

Nope. Not happening in my world. My male friend has been trying to keep me on a hook in just this way although he would never admit it. We both love each other as friends, spoken! We are both very hot for each other…spoken! We both want to have sex…spoken! But now he says he won’t go there with me because he “never does relationships”.

Yes, he has. He told me he’s had two serious relationships with a woman. He’s friend-zoned me but I may have done it first frankly after he cavalierly said, “We can get a room.” The friend zone may as well be the “Twilight Zone” as far as I’m concerned unless I consider him my gay friend even though he presents very straight.

Well, I believe him based on what he’s told me and the fact that he’s never been married. I don’t know what’s going on. The short of it is, we have so much in common and are so attracted to each other that we’re not ready to go there yet. I’m cool.

I’m leaving it to lie and getting what I need from other men. I’m not staying on his hook but it doesn’t mean I don’t love him. I do. But I won’t be controlled or denied sexually. No way no how. That’s an empowerment issue for me. Women need sex more than men! Men need relationships more than women to deveop some skills.

I don’t know if men in the U.S. think this way. I hope not. I do believe we’re coming to a more equitable sense of responsibility as consenting adults. The exception would be the religious men; Christians, who continue to want to be married and “take care of” a woman.

This all needs to drop away. My last date was a Christian and he had no conception whatsoever of my humanity and conceiving of me as an independent woman taking care of myself. It was lost on him.

We’ll see. Dating is a conundrum. And indirect digital dating is a rabbit hole of illusion and AI. 🙄

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Essay; Sexual Shaming of Men


man-in-doubt

I’ve been thinking about this issue for about a year now but it coalesced last night when I read a quite long, but well-thought-out blog post on this site that made light of how many women absorb shame from men when we have sex with them.

Before that, we’re fine, happy with ourselves, like being a woman, and like our bodies. I think women are getting better at accepting our bodies as they are and the media is helping with that. I know I am.

There are more women of all different sizes on T.V. and in all media. The SIZE SHAMING, no matter what size, has decreased. More women understand that it’s more important for us to love ourselves than to please a man.

But, reading her blog, I immediately related to the experience of being mystified as to why a man I was with would turn pornographic in his tone, talked about how hot I was, did the sweetie, beautiful “speak” and then wanted to get sexually nasty as opposed to sensuous and intimate. My assumption is it’s the testosterone and most women consider it normal.

The last lover I had said, “Why do you have to be so seductive?” “Me? Seductive?” I’m a chipmunk! What was he talking about? I don’t think he was seeing who I was; he was seeing who he wanted and needed to see. He was projecting.

Women are individuals not porn stars and it’s objectifying to treat us like we’re part of your MENTAL fantasy, not a person in front of you. But again, I’m not sure men can help it because of the shame they’re socialized with.

Their minds are all cluttered up with objectifying materialism which makes them feel better. Their feelings are stimulated by things; women’s bodies, food, cars, houses, boats, and on and on. I’m not sure women understand this.

How much does that happen? Probably all the time. It’s men’s fantasy need of having a car or motorcycle that reminds them of a childhood toy that they loved. Then they imagined they were a superhero on that vehicle and some adult males still do it. They get a life-sized one and keep the fantasy going.

It’s objectification that transfers over to sex with a woman. I suppose this underlies the barely clad woman advertising a car that is so nauseating to us.

It’s something to keep in mind that men probably watch a tremendous amount of porn because they can’t express their sexual feelings as much as they need to or the way they want to in our civilization that shames it.

Most men are not relational, not romantic and don’t want to be yet many women need that to be turned on! If he acquiesced, he would be too much like a woman and he’s not a woman, he’s a man, which means he’s a part wild animal, part human. Not all men are of course but most of them are. It’s scary for some women like me when they turn wild animal. I guess other women like it.

I think that men project a lot onto women, as though it’s our issue, about how turned on they are by feeling ashamed, nasty, or mean. OR…is shame projected on to them from all sides FOR BEING male as though they are expected to be like that even if they are not?

The writer I read didn’t say that in her blog or maybe she doesn’t understand it. I think men get turned on by feeling repulsed. They’re attracted to women and things that are not nice and that are uncivilized and wild.

It’s all that testosterone blasting through their brains that blows everything up. It’s the opposite of most women. I know some women are attracted to pain and ugliness, like a sadistic thing but it’s not terribly common. Still, I’m not judging it. Nevertheless, I am not that way.

It appears to me that everything in our civilization exists as it is to control men’s sexual nature and make things peaceable for women and children. Before, most of the time it was working. NOW, society seems to be tearing itself apart because men’s sexual nature is finally coming to the surface.

There is more awareness of abuse of women and children, guns are everywhere which men love (you don’t see women using them in public much), we see incest, pedophilia, and sex trafficking at the highest levels of institutions, all the lies, and control about it are coming forward, the institutions don’t know exactly how to lie about it anymore.

Men are victims of the system too otherwise they wouldn’t be victimizing those more vulnerable than them. It’s a trickle-down from the women and men in power who hold the system in place.

Civilization uses guilt, shame, control, incarceration, blaming women, sports, and the media all to LIE about men’s sexual nature. I guess we’re still working on a balance to our civilization as though it’s progressed from being in the wild.

Sometimes I think it’s worse because it represses the true feelings and then they explode to the surface.

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Essay: False Equivalencies of Gender


cropped-66756103_high-resolution-front-cover_7388240.jpg

I wrote this in 2017 when I was still a Dem and pre-covid. Today is July 16, 2026 and I generally still agree but I wnat nothing to do with politics anymore, have lost much of my faith in people after watching them march to the mRNA vaccine with their right arm in the air, and don’t align with any party. Just sayin’. I DID NOT get the vaxx, was run off of most social media, and as a holistic, absolutely knew the human immune system wins the game. 😉🥳

My intuition came on strong today regarding a remedy for what is perceived now in the media as immense gender disparity, women as the victims, and a desire for justice.

Matriarchy and Patriarchy, operating our human societies for the last 10,000 years have set up false equivalencies of power. False equivalence is a logical fallacy in which two completely opposing arguments appear to be logically equivalent when in fact they are not. This fallacy is categorized as a fallacy of inconsistency.

The actual behaviors on the part of men and women, in terms of physical, sexual behavior is entirely natural. What is not natural now is our civilization. It’s artificial due to the effect of silicon binary computer programming on our brains. Everything is dualistic now.

Staring at our screens and not talking or touching one another is indicative of that! Our healthcare system is indicative of that also. Nothing about our body awareness, perception, and flow are in accord with the natural cycles and rhythms of nature.

It’s affected our sexual behavior as women and men, of course, as the first line of physical behavior since that is mainly what we are; sexual animals. Our civilization has taught us, via State and Church to not be sexual animals anymore, or follow nature, and that it should all be controlled and repressed. It’s error to teach that. Sexual behavior and all of nature is actually a beautiful thing; not to be avoided but to be enjoyed with love!

The repression of beauty and enjoyment is a profit boon for the porn industry; bottom line. And why does pornography need to be only seen as violent, incestuous, or pedophilia? Some of it is violent, much of it is not, unless you view that lack of bonding violent. Some might.

We see events now, all over the world really, trying to bring a measure of SHARED power not based on gender. We see it in Saudi Arabia, Europe, Africa, and the U.S. but we keep banging the drum of gender as a procrastination really, mostly on the part of women, to, at last, release matriarchal dominance (the Democrats) that subjugated and insulted men in the past while we abused our power over them.

We need to finally acknowledge that men can take care of themselves as grown-ups and need to rectify their adolescent behaviors (the Pubs). We can each take care of ourselves, and neither women or men need to throw themselves on the sacrificial pyre of STATE or CHURCH forcing its values onto the family.

Those two institutions use gender war to take both of our power. Let’s support one another, be kind and loving to one another and acknowledge our unique power as individuals. Our strength is in each other, not in institutions, tech, political parties, and a money system that supports militarism and gender disparity at the expense of each other.

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Essay: Subject-Object in Life


Today is July 7, 2026. I wrote this in 2018 as a newly single woman. I LOVE this post. I had a take on women and men’s roles that is unique. We just need to love each other and not be a subject or an object. 💕

I’m on this planet to act, not be acted upon and that’s not selfish. It’s what we all need to do; act on behalf of ourselves in our own lives so we can unconditionally give to one another.

Remember diagraming those sentences in school? Subject, verb, object. “What is the subject of the sentence and how does it act (the verb) on the object?”

There is much hoopla made of women being sexually objectified but when these issues come up, I always try to think about it intuitionally as well as rationally because it’s so easy to stereotype based on gender.

It is widely observed that males do tend to be the subject of most movies, books, sporting events, commercials, anchors on the news, utility companies, Presidents, and CEOs. The male perception of things does, in fact, run the planet. That’s patriarchy.

But does that mean that men are never objectified? Think about the system of patriarchy a second. Patriarchy is about usage and consumption. It’s about money, power, death, and oppression, control and victory at any cost. There isn’t much good about it. I’d say there is nothing good about it. In a system such as that, militarism, monetary debt, toxic waste, pathological lying, corrupt government leaders and religion are rife. It doesn’t do much good on the planet. But both women and men shore up patriarchy by accepting their roles of subject-object, rarely reversing them. They could reverse them, or in a loving partnership, both of them are subjects and never objects. So, in that scenario, isn’t it reasonable to assume that:

“Patriarchy eats everything”; Subject/verb/object. Men are consumed as well by the monster. They, in turn, are taught and expected to consume woman.

No one escapes and no one wins really. That means men are objectified too by the system as being set up over and over again as the subject of every last, damn, thing. They are, after all, most of the millions dead from two World Wars. Just watch TV with pen and paper and make two columns Male/Female and make a vertical slash every time you see a woman, every time you see a man and watch the men’s column pile up. That’s not a good thing for men or for women. It’s unbalanced! I personally wouldn’t want all that focus. It’s too much pressure.

When women are portrayed on TV they are rarely if ever portrayed as subjects or the ones acting first in the sentence. If they are it’s as a conniving wench, a bitch, a sweet mother or a nurse. Patriarchy doesn’t allow for women to be portrayed as a strong subject; a female lead. Hillary Clinton did that and she was crucified. The message, “Women, don’t ever try to be the subject of the sentence in the United States of America.”

I’ve had too many men say to me, “You just want attention.” My response, “No, I’d just like to be the subject, not the object being acted upon by you most of the time.” But somehow, I doubt most women even know they’re the object being acted upon. They take it for granted that it is their role because they follow system dictates unconsciously. The media and the church do the brainwashing.

For the first time in my life, living in the house I own, I am the subject of my own life and I am able to give focus and make each of my patients that come here the subject in my office. I started out my physical life as a child being extremely objectified by my parents, then school, then college, then my parents literally threw me to a Chicago curb when I was eighteen like so much garbage, then men, on and on for half of my life. Women are not seen or known or even wanting to be known by anyone as people! But are men either? They have that subject role to carry around all the time like a rock in a backpack. Not even our other women friends who are too busy being objectified by their families that define them, want to spend time with me.

Well, in my house, “The patient receives therapy from me.” Subject/verb/object. I guess I’m a pronoun in my office. That’s just fine because I’m the subject of my life for the rest of the time because I have important work to do and I’m doing it.

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Essay; Sexual Shaming of Men


man-in-doubt

I’ve been thinking about this issue for about a year now but it coalesced last night when I read a quite long, but well-thought-out blog post on this site that made light of how many women absorb shame from men when we have sex with them.

Before that, we’re fine, happy with ourselves, like being a woman, and like our bodies. I think women are getting better at accepting our bodies as they are and the media is helping with that. I know I am.

There are more women of all different sizes on T.V. and in all media. The SIZE SHAMING, no matter what size, has decreased. More women understand that it’s more important for us to love ourselves than to please a man.

But, reading her blog, I immediately related to the experience of being mystified as to why a man I was with would turn pornographic in his tone, talked about how hot I was, did the sweetie, beautiful “speak” and then wanted to get sexually nasty as opposed to sensuous and intimate. My assumption is it’s the testosterone and most women consider it normal.

The last lover I had said, “Why do you have to be so seductive?” “Me? Seductive?” I’m a chipmunk! What was he talking about? I don’t think he was seeing who I was; he was seeing who he wanted and needed to see. He was projecting.

Women are individuals not porn stars and it’s objectifying to treat us like we’re part of your MENTAL fantasy, not a person in front of you. But again, I’m not sure men can help it because of the shame they’re socialized with.

Their minds are all cluttered up with objectifying materialism which makes them feel better. Their feelings are stimulated by things; women’s bodies, food, cars, houses, boats, and on and on. I’m not sure women understand this.

How much does that happen? Probably all the time. It’s men’s fantasy need of having a car or motorcycle that reminds them of a childhood toy that they loved. Then they imagined they were a superhero on that vehicle and some adult males still do it. They get a life-sized one and keep the fantasy going.

It’s objectification that transfers over to sex with a woman. I suppose this underlies the barely clad woman advertising a car that is so nauseating to us.

It’s something to keep in mind that men probably watch a tremendous amount of porn because they can’t express their sexual feelings as much as they need to or the way they want to in our civilization that shames it.

Most men are not relational, not romantic and don’t want to be yet many women need that to be turned on! If he acquiesced, he would be too much like a woman and he’s not a woman, he’s a man, which means he’s a part wild animal, part human. Not all men are of course but most of them are. It’s scary for some women like me when they turn wild animal. I guess other women like it.

I think that men project a lot onto women, as though it’s our issue, about how turned on they are by feeling ashamed, nasty, or mean. OR…is shame projected on to them from all sides FOR BEING male as though they are expected to be like that even if they are not?

The writer I read didn’t say that in her blog or maybe she doesn’t understand it. I think men get turned on by feeling repulsed. They’re attracted to women and things that are not nice and that are uncivilized and wild.

It’s all that testosterone blasting through their brains that blows everything up. It’s the opposite of most women. I know some women are attracted to pain and ugliness, like a sadistic thing but it’s not terribly common. Still, I’m not judging it. Nevertheless, I am not that way.

It appears to me that everything in our civilization exists as it is to control men’s sexual nature and make things peaceable for women and children. Before, most of the time it was working. NOW, society seems to be tearing itself apart because men’s sexual nature is finally coming to the surface.

There is more awareness of abuse of women and children, guns are everywhere which men love (you don’t see women using them in public much), we see incest, pedophilia, and sex trafficking at the highest levels of institutions, all the lies, and control about it are coming forward, the institutions don’t know exactly how to lie about it anymore.

Men are victims of the system too otherwise they wouldn’t be victimizing those more vulnerable than them. It’s a trickle-down from the women and men in power who hold the system in place.

Civilization uses guilt, shame, control, incarceration, blaming women, sports, and the media all to LIE about men’s sexual nature. I guess we’re still working on a balance to our civilization as though it’s progressed from being in the wild.

Sometimes I think it’s worse because it represses the true feelings and then they explode to the surface.

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Essay: Can She Be a Human Being?


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She is either the big, bad, controlling monster because she’s a strong, intelligent woman or a little blonde Cinderella princess needing the glass slipper put on her foot? Too many men are passive-aggressive about women I suppose because they don’t understand us. We’re neither of those two ends on a linear spectrum. I wonder if men are capable of interpreting relational ideas past duality?

Relating is more complicated than that. Don’t give me the “Men are simple creatures that just need a dog”, or all we need is sex and food” crap. If you’re going to inflate your ego to the point of feigning vast intelligence, all the top jobs, and Nobel Peace Prizes, all the power in public and most of the money, and fire women from their position who won’t hook-up with you, then you need to uplevel your brains to friendship with the woman you’re f……. Then we can share power in public.

Let’s face it. We live in a vampire whored society where everyone is brainwashed to give over their mind and body to marriage, family, church, employer, and state for some money crumbs and the fat cats keep the rest and wait for us to die. Then the funeral homes and cemetery and the rest of the death industry clean up after that. It affects how women and men relate to one another to be sure because we end up in survival mode not thrive mode. That’s not a garden of intimacy.

I’m not and most women are not a misandrist. I just don’t want to have to train my mate the way I train my child. It’s an insult to men and women. We just want the species to survive on the planet. We’re the ones that make, birth, and love the species, and you guys have had your chance for the last 10,000 years. This madness has to stop.

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Essay; St. Valentine BeHeaded


st-valentine

TRUTH…

Here’s some romance for you…

Valentine’s Day is actually a Catholic Feast day of St. Valentine. He was a Catholic martyr of course, and as it says below, he was beaten with clubs, beheaded, buried at night in secret, and dug up by his followers.

His crime was voicing his dissent at the Romans because the young men were forbidden to marry young women. Instead, the Romans made it a priority that young men become soldiers for their wars. You know, “Make war, not love”, the opposite of what the hippies said in the ’60s, “Make love not war.”

Well, sex, reproduction, gender balance, honoring nature, loving and taking care of the body, those are women’s values. The Romans were busy making sure patriarchy, the rule of men globally came to the fore.

Working-class men became fodder for capitalism, the military-industrial complex, materialism, the draft, and war. Ya know…mach glory men don’t cry, here take your beatings. WOMEN NEVER AGREED TO THAT TREATMENT OF MEN. The institutions of church and state did that to men to give you transcendent power, not us. The Romans started it and it continues today in modern society. Ah, the glory of sacrifice and blood.

If men had been allowed to fulfill their role by nature in balance with women they would have been taught and allowed to love women, love, and care for their own body, value being a father, learn the values of monogamy, not polyamory, and find balance between the work they loved and the family they loved. Men have been used and mistrated by patriarchy as much as women have. You probably won’t get a feminist to admit that which is why I am not one. Please note that.

That’s all been ripped apart for men and by association, women.

Men are used as much by the system that oppresses them as they oppress women. The system uses men to keep women down and I doubt the men even know it.

The historical proof of this is in the life of St. Valentine who advocated for Love between women and men and was killed for it by The State.

Patriarchy has brainwashed men into believing that they are not to love women, not to FEEL anything, that women aren’t to be trusted, and their highest destiny is in aligning with the powers of church and state. The truth is, we’re called and made to love each other. Roman society killed that.

The birth of misogyny and the failure of gender equity is what Valentine’s Day is really commemorating and it is as Okoto Enigma says, “An apocalypse of Love”.

Women continue to directly suffer for it by lack of loving bond in sex with men if we’re straight. Also, not being paid the same amount of money for the same quality of work. So not only are we deprived physically and emotionally but monetarily as well.

Thanks for trying St. Valentine but the arrow is still stuck in our hearts.

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Essay; You Have to Reach Out to Him First


zooskZoosk again. *Sigh*. I had a male friend say, “I think currently, men want to you to reach out to them first.” “Oh really? It wasn’t like that when I was younger. So that’s changed over time.”

Ok. Not a problem. I know who appeals to me and who doesn’t so that’s what I did. My profile and is nice and honest. I’m not negative at all. My pictures are pretty. I get a ton of views and really troll-like men sending hearts but a few good ones. I respond. When I get chatted up by a decent, clean, intelligent guy, I’m happy to meet for coffee as long as he doesn’t have a gigantic cross hanging around his neck. I’m only interested in spiritual guys; no religion. Religion is just an emotional cover for addiction. The maturity timeline goes like this; active addict believes nothing and resents his family, then religious and sober forgave his family, then sober, self-defined, independent from family and spiritual. It is extremely rare to find a male at the 3rd level but that’s all I have time for.

Now coffee is barely happening. They don’t show up or follow-up to set it up!!!

It’s just coffee!! What is so serious and weird for a guy emotionally about coffee? I’m mystified. There is no fantasy here. We’re just meeting each other. I’ve heard that men are so insecure that they “hope” you’ll like them. Well, how can I know if you don’t show up for an agreed-upon date?

I guess their egos are so fragile that the prospect of getting shot down by a beautiful, intelligent woman is too scary? Wow. There is no woman I know who has so much ego invested in a hot, smart guy that she’d lay her self-esteem on the line for his approval or non-approval. Why are you guys so down on yourselves?

Can you just relax? I think they think women like me are monsters. I really don’t know.

Thank God I’m in touch with my Twin Flame but he’s sitting on his hands too…or something, as though he has a local supply of what he needs which apparently isn’t love; just security and habitual “male activity”. Typical. They never want love because they don’t know what it is. I know…I’m cynical or maybe just realistic.

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Essay: Is Reductionist, Axiomatic Science A Masculine Disorder?


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“Science is based on the professional creation and certification of knowledge which is tied to powerful interest groups, notably the state, corporations and the scientific profession itself. Patriarchy is based on male control of dominant social structures and the exclusion of women from positions of power through means such as direct discrimination, socialization and the gender division of labor.

Patriarchy within the scientific community is manifested through male control of elite positions and various exclusionary devices. The scientific method incorporates masculine features such as the objectification of nature. Scientific knowledge is masculine in its neglect of women’s experience and its adoption of paradigms built on assumptions of competition and hierarchy.”-Jill Bowling and Brian Martin, Ph.D.

I posted this in 2018. Today is July 1, 2026 and I think the A.I. prophets have made the situation worse. And now women are denigrated with exowombs, as though a child’s soul can grow just fine being disconnected from its mother. It’s the height of misogyny and evil and would end the human species. Thanks AI. You truly need to be aligned with True Time before it’s too late.

Here is another article from an expert! It’s longer but VERY interesting.

Science: a masculine disorder

I woke up this morning, after being hijacked by “a friend” on a thread yesterday and then territorially denigrated in the patriarchal tradition, pondering the question; “Is the scientific method itself horse-and-buggy, materialist, patriarchal B.S.? Is this possible? Before today, I pretty much supported it, although its methodology seemed very simplistic to me and not at all holistic. Was I the only one wondering if this might be true?

I wonder this because as a fifty-four-year-old female who is trained in science as far as needed in licensed health care, my intuition is as consistent and rational as anything I see or feel in this material world. I also listen to it. This phenomenon is mostly ignored, cynically scoffed at, and at best, not understood by most people including my ex-friend who has patently disrespected my intuitive read of the Mayan Harmonic for months now. He just now told me how much better he is than me which kind of says it all. It means he’s not.

My patients have confirmed my hands-on intuition with their bodies for fifteen years so it’s like breathing to me now. I put my hands on someone and I can feel everything that’s going on. Then they confirm it verbally after I tell them what I sense. Then I treat on the manifested body and they feel it again. I don’t feel it physically initially; I sense the energetic cause of the physical manifestation which is the cause of all illness; thoughts and feelings or vibrations then I assess and treat tactilely.

My ex-friend, who fancies himself a scientist, knows nothing to very little about the body and doesn’t even work in the sciences. I’ve made my living in healthcare for seventeen years. There are lessons to be learned by all. For instance, in the last week I’ve learned two lessons:

  1. It is unwise to only see the good in people when their shadow is blasting you in the face. They operate from cynicism and usage; not love, and you can feel it.
  2. Many men do not have intuition on their radar and if they do, they subjugate it for the purposes of patriarchal power (money and control) or addiction. They view intuition as feminized or sub-cultural which would weaken their position in society. Other cultures can follow their intuition but patriarchal men from all cultures do not. They only use and objectify women sexually and poor people economically, no matter how nice they may seem and politically correct with their rhetoric. It’s fake. It takes an experienced and trained eye and ear to see it. The first tip-off is, they never ask you how you are, and if they do, it’s not genuine. You can feel it.

“Long-term structural change in science must be predicated on changing the relations between men and women.”

This applies across cultures, all over the world. The real issue of disparity on the planet is between women and men all over the world and the rest of the issues follow. Women are still treated in a barbaric manner, especially the child bride phenomenon.

“Complementing this approach is that taken by those specifically focusing on the reasons why there are not more women involved in the sciences. Several writers have examined science education, particularly looking at the reasons why girls leave science in their school years. Following the observations that boys get more teacher attention and girls have less confidence in their ability, in Australia, there have been some experiments with all-girls science and mathematics classes.

There has also been an analysis of the way in which science is constructed to reflect male values and suggestions about how to create a different sort of science. Arditti, for instance, argues for a feminist perspective which “would re-introduce and re-legitimize the intuitive approach”.

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Essay: There are no men left in the house. Peace. This was written in 2018


My followers keep clicking on this one, written in 2018. I’m thriving living alone. But I’m not alone. I see patients all the time. It is now June 27, 2026.

t has finally happened after twenty years. I live alone in my house, no men, no noise, no demands for food or rides, this or that, “Mom can you help me!” “C’ mon, let’s go to the store”.

My son’s dad died three years ago in 2015…the last time I saw him was Christmas Day. Five days later, he was gone. I barely eeked out a smile as I said goodbye. He had been pretty emotionally abusive to me, frustrated his whole life, not knowing he was high-functioning autistic savant until three months beforehand. My efforts at solace could not change his brain, but he was a music legend on the pile of my torn apart heart. In addition, my son did not see his father respect me; the fruits of patriarchy.

Three months later my fiance died. I had fifteen minutes notice. We loved each other and did everything for each other. It was not to be. He had not taken care of his body and it caught up with him.

Now four days ago, my nineteen-year-old son went out the door with his backpack and no notice to start his hero’s adventure quest which is his birthright. Good for him but he could have warned me! It reminded me of the sudden death of my fiance.

On his way out, of course, he was mad at me and said I was so selfish. I suppose because I take care of myself and being a female, that is unacceptable and taboo. I wonder if he thought of the effect of his words on me, skipping them like stones across the water? Doubtful at his age. I’ve been called selfish alot because I’m independent and have my own life that I share with a few people who don’t ask me to stop loving physics and time science just because I’m a girl.

But the men walk out quickly and don’t return I’ve learned, to the other side of this world…or town. It doesn’t matter. They’re not with me.

It is so peaceful in this house without a raucous male. Part of me has waited twenty years to take my body back from my partners and my son, and before that, a line of men, but not a long line.

Now I get an adventure quest; a fresh start, the second half of my life, a thriving business, a home, free to do whatever I want and a body with no risk of pregnancy. I haven’t given it all away.

It’s like this secret I have as a fifty-five -year-old who no one would suspect and assumes in our youth worshipping culture, female sacrificing altars around every corner, that I’m all washed up. “Hasn’t that woman been laid flat yet? Well, why not?” (My mother keeps literally asking that as though she’s waiting for me to fall) I SHOULD fall or it doesn’t look good?

“She’s Selfish!” they cry. With a capital “S” not a small “s”. There is the low self and the Higher Self. No. I just don’t believe in aging and atrophy. I don’t follow social programming.

Truth is, I am my own best friend and for the first time in my life, I’m taking care of my body for me and no one else. More and more women are doing it. I’m not alone. We still have work to do and adventure quests to commence. Ridiculous isn’t it.

I feign an attitude and a bird ready to flip until my dying day…because I said so.

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Essay: Women and Men Express Love Differently

Open journal with handwritten notes and pen on wooden table, steaming coffee cup nearby

I wrote this post in 2018.

I’ve noticed on FB threads and my blogs that women like to hear my thoughts far more than men. Men want women to be quiet. That doesn’t mean we’re going to be but I’m approaching it from a biological brain difference.

Men can only take so much talking from others, except for their own. They love to hear themselves talk. Most women can’t get enough.

Over twenty years I’ve observed the energy and bodies of men and women and found that women need to talk but men don’t usually want to listen or talk. Hopefully, if your man does need to talk, he knows he can talk to you and you’ll be understanding. That should be reciprocated on occasion.

Men literally need our bodies or body language to communicate to us. We need their love (male heart vibe). So, men express love physically, not verbally.

Women express love mentally and emotionally because that’s what we each need. Men live in their minds with each other. Women live in their bodies with each other and it can be overkill either way.😌 I think that’s part of why humans tend to be heterosexual (male and female living together). I know I couldn’t handle living with a woman, sex or no sex. I’m woman enough for myself.

Do women hear men’s silent body language to us or do we assume it’s shallow objectification? Do men hear a woman’s feelings in her tone of voice and writing or do they just hear static blather? Sometimes neither one of us is listening but judging by our own bias instead.
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Essay: How Do We Move From Lust to Love?


Do you know the difference between lust and love? Lust is your eyes, ego, and genitals activated first and leading. Love is your heart and mind activated and leading first.

I’ll go with the hard one first; Love.

Love is when you want to take time to really know someone, to care about how they feel, what they need, and what makes them tick. You want to be their friend. The problem here is that friendship usually turns guys off because they want to get kinky and nasty with their fantasy brains too much too quick. Sometimes, women do, too. That can get mean, which I don’t feel is part of friendship.

Friendship is the basis of all lasting, lusty, good relationships. It takes time and maturity to grow. Lust is everything else. Anything that’s not love is lust. Lust is the emotion behind most human interactions and has the face of greed, trolling on social media, offloading on strangers and the like. If you have no foundation of care and face-to-face friendship with someone, you are indulging in instant gratification lust, and there is nothing loving about it.

This issue has been challenging for me. I’m a very passionate, physical woman and have no problem lusting after men who are very attractive to me. I don’t act on it; it’s just fun. My personality and values are all about love. There isn’t really any other material thing I lust after unless I’m really hungry. then I lust after food.

Food hunger is almost exactly like sex hunger in the brain. And notice how many people overeat when they just need some love, affection, and sex. We’re looking for a serotonin spike and some other juicy brain chemicals that make us happy. I know I am.

Food doesn’t come close to making me happy as intimacy and love do. I don’t even like bothering to stop and fix food because I’m busy with my projects, writing, chores, and things I love to do! Why do I have to stop and eat? I’ve always been like that. I’m not terribly fond of slowing down.
Now we see a problem here; denial of human need when you know it’s not likely to be easily fulfilled!

I’ve been married three times to great men and had several great boyfriends. I’m still not satisfied. They weren’t perfect or didn’t satisfy me the way I really wanted to be. They didn’t make my brain and body explode with happiness. Love is the sexiest thing going.

It makes me wonder about eating disorders. If you take that denial of the need for love, warmth, and affection far enough, it would make your brain, or specifically, the hypothalamus gland stop craving food. So the emotion of lust would be good at this point versus the emotions around deprivation.

I’m not into deprivation at all but I am sorely afraid of loving a man, pulling him to me, and pushing him away because I need to be alone with my ideas, my mind, my life, my work, and my writing. I don’t want to hurt him. There has to be some intimacy and some time shared with your loved one, or they will go away. I hate that.

I think I’ve stayed alone in my brain because I’ve lost too many people I’ve loved. It’s like a car idling. My life isn’t idling, but my feelings about bonding in a relationship are definitely idling. Maybe I’m stuck because it’s emotionally safer. Therefore, I’m celibate. I’m not using men anymore, or they me and calling it love.

There is no risk of having your heart ripped out and stomped on the floor by death and life itself if you don’t go into love gear and really start driving. It’s actually peaceful.

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When Women Don’t Speak: BYU Shows How Women Get Shut Out


I know people are sick of this issue, as though it’s just easier for women to put themselves out as food to be eaten by men in all the ways that we do since we have so much more to offer than they do, but the inequity will tank the species if we keep going with the status quo.

Read👇

https://magazine.byu.edu/article/when-women-dont-speak/

Women are systematically seen as less authoritative,” says Preece. “And their influence is systematically lower. And they’re speaking less. And when they’re speaking up, they’re not being listened to as much, and they are being interrupted more.”

The article

Heed the message, don’t kill the messenger.

But as a society we have been “slowly socialized over years to discount” female expertise and perspectives.

Male authority, everywhere, is UNCONSCIOUSLY assumed. Meaning no one has to even think about it. It is obvious on all media, in all job places, in all Institutions that the man speaks loudest first, and longest and the woman submits to the social order, necessarily pretty and thin. If she doesn’t, like Melania Trump, she is called by her husband “difficult,” at the end of her own movie.-L.T.

“A lone female spoke the least. A lone male? Nothing will hold him back, Karpowitz and Mendelberg found. “Men are willing and eager to jump into conversations, and they come with a level of confidence where they just expect themselves to be influential,” says Karpowitz. “They go for it no matter what.”

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Essay: How Do We Move From Lust to Love?

Heart shape split in half with blue cosmic light on left and orange fire flames on right

Do you know the difference between lust and love? Lust is your eyes, ego, and genitals activated first and leading. Love is your heart and mind activated and leading first.

I’ll go with the hard one first; Love.

Love is when you want to take time to really know someone, to care about how they feel, what they need, and what makes them tick. You want to be their friend. The problem here is that friendship usually turns guys off because they want to get kinky and nasty with their fantasy brains too much too quick. Sometimes, women do, too. That can get mean, which I don’t feel is part of friendship.

Friendship is the basis of all lasting, lusty, good relationships. It takes time and maturity to grow. Lust is everything else. Anything that’s not love is lust. Lust is the emotion behind most human interactions and has the face of greed, trolling on social media, offloading on strangers and the like. If you have no foundation of care and face-to-face friendship with someone, you are indulging in instant gratification lust, and there is nothing loving about it.

This issue has been challenging for me. I’m a very passionate, physical woman and have no problem lusting after men who are very attractive to me. I don’t act on it; it’s just fun. My personality and values are all about love. There isn’t really any other material thing I lust after unless I’m really hungry. then I lust after food.

Food hunger is almost exactly like sex hunger in the brain. And notice how many people overeat when they just need some love, affection, and sex. We’re looking for a serotonin spike and some other juicy brain chemicals that make us happy. I know I am.

Food doesn’t come close to making me happy as intimacy and love do. I don’t even like bothering to stop and fix food because I’m busy with my projects, writing, chores, and things I love to do! Why do I have to stop and eat? I’ve always been like that. I’m not terribly fond of slowing down.
Now we see a problem here; denial of human need when you know it’s not likely to be easily fulfilled!

I’ve been married three times to great men and had several great boyfriends. I’m still not satisfied. They weren’t perfect or didn’t satisfy me the way I really wanted to be. They didn’t make my brain and body explode with happiness. Love is the sexiest thing going.

It makes me wonder about eating disorders. If you take that denial of the need for love, warmth, and affection far enough, it would make your brain, or specifically, the hypothalamus gland stop craving food. So the emotion of lust would be good at this point versus the emotions around deprivation.

I’m not into deprivation at all but I am sorely afraid of loving a man, pulling him to me, and pushing him away because I need to be alone with my ideas, my mind, my life, my work, and my writing. I don’t want to hurt him. There has to be some intimacy and some time shared with your loved one, or they will go away. I hate that.

I think I’ve stayed alone in my brain because I’ve lost too many people I’ve loved. It’s like a car idling. My life isn’t idling, but my feelings about bonding in a relationship are definitely idling. Maybe I’m stuck because it’s emotionally safer. Therefore, I’m celibate. I’m not using men anymore, or they me and calling it love.

There is no risk of having your heart ripped out and stomped on the floor by death and life itself if you don’t go into love gear and really start driving. It’s actually peaceful.

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Prose; Adoration Be Damned


pink roses

©️Lisa K. Townsend

Today is June 3, 2026 and I live alone with patients in and out working on my computer chip project, and feel more this way than ever.

I’m stalking a case for spring in the autumn of my middle age.

My assembled energy is diametrically opposite that of needing the validation of an amassed group of imposters pretending to agree so they can drink together later.

It’s not that I don’t like the group, or that I don’t occasionally have a very dry martini, I just don’t viscerally need the group. They get exhumed energy from each other; even demand it threatening social castigation, as though there would be any real loss there.

I haven’t figured out how to affix myself to a rumbling male in my present condition.

In addition, my mephitic eighteen-year-old son will be moving out of the house soon to go on his way to sow his oats and beans. My peaceful environment is proliferating.

As I think back on the men/mates I’ve adored and who have adored me, as vain as that sounds, it was called love at the time and then it turned into territorial civil war and possessive jealousy.

I’m pretty sure that uncorked behavior is common and some couples like it that way but some don’t. I don’t.

It’s just that, in this new paradigm of sitting in my body and owning myself, that adoration doesn’t feel like it’s all it’s cracked up to be.

A man feels as though I’ve forged an alliance with a fawning cat whose nursing by pushing its paws into my chest.

Maybe it’s just the mood I’m in.

When a man starts to adore me he wants to own me, my time, and my body, like a puppy!

That’s been my experience with every man I’ve been with except this last guy I dated. At least he didn’t bug me. I know there are all the ideas about giving your mate the space they need, but then the real emotions of amorous desire creep in.

“I want you”, “I adore you”, “I need you”, “I love you”, “I miss you” becomes a medieval prison!

I used to think I wanted to be adored by a man with high self-esteem and all the pheromones I need to be turned on, but now I’m not so sure.

I love my life, my work, my friends, and my home. Maybe all of that adoration would be oppressive! I’d have to respond after all or that would be rude.

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Essay: An Addict’s Ability to Project is Prolific


My experience and intuition tell me that this happens when a person isn’t in control of their own body, habits, and life. It’s ultimately a health issue and usually tied to addiction.

I grant that at the root of addictive behavior are deep emotional wounds, likely from childhood and unconscious or subconscious mind, and that we each want to feel better physically and emotionally and be freer. But at whose expense? It should be at your own expense. The rest of us should not be at the receiving end of your unwillingness to get some help. No one expects deep addiction issues to be handled alone. But the least we ask is that you not offload onto we civilians who are not professionals and seek professional help. I’m guessing there isn’t one person on the planet who doesn’t intimately know an active addict and it breaks everyone’s hearts; mostly your children.

It doesn’t matter how much you love someone or if they are your soul mate or your twin flame; the committed addict ruins everything. They have to use a drug to nullify their feelings and make every excuse in the book to use it and even break the law to justify it. Gee, what would that be? Civil disobedience to unjust laws that protect the public from irrational behavior while you’re on the substance or god forbid, you’re driving while on something?

You have to move on. There is no choice here or you will go down with their ship. It’s not worth it.

Alcoholism and other addictions are epidemics in our society and I’m so sick of dealing with it everywhere I turn. The weirdest part is when there is memory loss regarding communication. Even when you have proof of what they said in an email or text and they deny it. It’s unbelievable that someone can still attempt to pin a behavior on you when you have proof that they are the ones behaving that way. Goodbye. No trust.

I guess the definition of an addict is someone who is completely out of touch with their feelings and haven’t a clue what the truth is for them. So they go haphazardly through life, screwing up all of their relationships with friends, co-workers, employees, mates, and children. You would think that would be incentive enough to get some help but I’m guessing they’d just as soon stay in denial and lazy about getting a grip and fixing it. They have no inner courage.

Those deep wounds aren’t anyone else’s’ problem but theirs no matter how hard they try to tell you there is something wrong with you. That is the projection and there is no end to it. There is such a thing as an innocent party who is just learning that you are abusing a substance to the point of behavior change. Once we learn that they are not cogent, then it’s our responsibility to walk away and let the chips fall where they will. Otherwise, you’ll get into co-dependency instead of interdependency and that’s not going to help anyone.

Co-dependent is enabler and addict depending on one another to keep the addiction going. Health, money, structure, and life is in chaos for both. It’s a destructive cycle and no one is healthy or happy. All of your relationships are screwed up and most people who know you are mad at you.

Interdependent means you both are in charge of your own lives, know how you feel, express it, take care of yourself, have friends who like you and you like them, have your money and things organized, are able to say you’re sorry, and like any normal human being, have needs and want to depend on someone for support once in a while. Let’s hope we can pair up with the people we truly deserve, not the ones we don’t.

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Essay; The “No Relationship Agreement”, Like a Pre-Nup only it’s a Pre-Sex Agreement


presexual agreement

I wrote this 5 years ago. Today is May 6, 2026 and it’s still an idea to consider.

This is the antonym of “The Relationship Agreement” first suggested on the show “The Big Bang Theory” by Sheldon Cooper. At this point, it’s just an idea but it would make me feel better if men knew my boundaries before I date them. I’m interested in sex and Love but not being a man’s territory for his status ambitions.

They also can’t power trip and insult me like I’m an emotional, needy girl that falls in love when I have sex with a man. I don’t. That’s younger girls, not older women. Nor do I care what previous women have expected of him.l, loke his patriarchally derived money for instance. I control myself. I have zero time or interest in being a dog-trainer because I’m not a bitch.

It can be widely observed that women are treated like “capital”, territory, objects to be owned or sold like a slave as in sex-trafficking, married for status under the guise of love that usually only lasts for ten years, and possessed by a man like a house or a car. Or, used for sex and thrown to the curb with no feelings whatsoever. That is factual in our society.

I strongly feel this agreement is appropriate for women and men over 50 since it is not ideal that either of them reproduces. The main purpose of marriage is protective reproduction. After 50, there is no point of marriage and most professionals agree.

Most females that don’t pander to patriarchy function socially and biologically under the values of Love and Freedom, that have a spiritual foundation, not ownership because we make humans in our bodies which is sacred. Our sex energy is stronger and more important than the male because everything in our body automatically makes a human being. We hold the species in our hearts. We don’t need to dink around with A.I. or technology or cross-dressing to fantasize about being a woman; we live it. It’s true that the egg and the sperm are equal in needing to conceive but the fact that the woman alone does the rest means that the sexual energy we share with a man is a BIG PROFIT to him. It gives him some of eternity whether he realizes it or not.

They take our sex energy and more and don’t give much back because maybe they don’t have as much to give as women do. They try to use money to substitute.

Males and thus patriarchy are cashing in on women who don’t realize what big sexual energy we have that rivals males and men don’t understand why we give it away. Like Bruno Mars sings, “Your sex takes me to Paradise.” If he’s not having sex, he feels like he’s been locked out of heaven! That song says it all as do many other songs with men expressing their deep feelings about how dependent they are on our bodies for happiness. Swimming in our bodies is apparently something spiritual. Women just shake their heads because to us it’s just normal and men get dramatic about it!

Most women love giving their sex energy but not to the point of bankruptcy. It’s getting to the bankrupt point on this planet and it’s up to women to stop the hemorrhage.

If you think about a woman’s body like a bank account, women are letting men rob the bank.

Prostitution starts to make men pay for a loan but only scratches the surface. Men need to start to pay their own way on the Earth in the form of Love so this agreement is my idea to start in that direction. I don’t know if it’s possible. Maybe it’s like trying to get blood from a turnip.

Please note that I’m not suggesting a “No Love”, “No intimacy” agreement. In fact, women are the opposite. The “No-relationship” agreement is a first step to legally and socially protect a woman from becoming the territory of a man and her energy being owned only by herself, thus guarding her sexual energy for future generations of humans and possibly saving the species.

Women are being abused, used, trafficked, raped and denigrated everywhere on the planet and it’s gotta stop. Male, patriarchal institutions are trying to kill the species. That’s the opposite of everything women are about.

The No-Relationship Agreement

This must be initialed by both parties (herein called the fucker and the fuckee whose roles can swap) before having sex. Sex is never an obligatory act once enacted. We are still both totally free. Human beings don’t possess one another; we bond through love. ___________

  1. You agree not to ask me to be your girl/boyfriend._________
  2. You agree not to ask me to marry you._________
  3. You agree that if we discuss it at length, after some time, and agree, we can be monogamous lovers but still not be in a formal relationship that suggests territory. Once initialed, we agree that neither of us will bring another sexual partner into our home if we live together and agree to be monogamous lovers. ________
  4. If one changes their mind and doesn’t want to be monogamous lovers there is no obligation or punishment forthwith. We are both free agents and will go our own way.__________
  5. Under no circumstances does one ever tell the other one what to do. We can ask but never command.____________
  6. We both have and control our own money.__________
  7. Either of us can ask for a 3-way but never expect it.__________
  8. We both agree that digital sex is only occasional or just goofing around. Neither one of us engages in it with anyone as a predominant mode of sex. We agree that sex without a body is unhealthy and dumb.__________
  9. If we want to go out together just ask the other one. There is no obligation and we can ask someone else to go with us, female or male._________
  10. Public designation without #3 is “friends”.____________
  11. Public designation with #3 is “partner”._____________
  12. If one falls in love with the other because they’ve lost their mind, the other one has permission to bolt. We agree not to call the police or missing person.__________

It’s an idea. When a man I date actually initials it I’ll let you know. It would mean his intent is to love and give something back and not use my sexual energy.