Category: online dating

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Essay; There is Pressure on Women and Men to Hold Ourselves in Higher Esteem


But you don’t have to give in to the pressure just to feed men’s fantasy and lonliness if you’re a woman. I love being single.

I wrote this 7 years ago. It’s 2026 and people are still looking for it. I’m leaving it as is but I think my beliefs about this have changed.

zoosk

The reason being, in truth, every woman is a goddess. Some women feel and know this and many more don’t and are very dependent as opposed to being interdependent. That’s where the jealousy and the trouble come in for men. Men long for us to know how beautiful we are and some get very co-dependent with low self-esteem women trying to convince them that they need to love themselves. Women are love on the planet but if a woman doesn’t claim that it becomes hell on earth. Men are mere mortals wishing to be superheroes! Men that think they’re gods already are gay or bi-sexual and have incorporated the female principle into themselves to try to bring balance. And how do they act? Like a woman! Fine, but they are still males and can’t make a human being in their body. There’s that. A male truly becomes a god when he joins with a female and they have a child together. That is a powerful creation and males and females get credit for that. If it’s only one child, that may be more responsible in my view. Society should never denigrate procreation. It’s our main biological mandate on the planet and would completely throw us off as a species if we no longer valued children.gold tears klimt

“Men feel and view our bodies as heaven, paradise, light, love, sex, food, everything they want and need and they want and need to lose themselves in us.”

That is pressure on women. I am hearing that in every single modern day pop song sung by men. Women who watch it say, “ALL they want is SEX.”. To men, that’s the pinnacle on earth. That’s all there is or needs to be. That’s as happy as they can get. Like Bruno Mars sings, “Your sex takes me to paradise”. They mean it. Just because women are not that way doesn’t mean EVERYONE should be that way. To the extent to which society, Church, State, and women deny them the greatest heaven they can have is the degree to which they are frustrated, pissed, feeling upset and victimized and die early of heart disease. This issue has got to be seen and accepted by society about men and balanced with women taking care of themselves and making money.

They can’t be any different nor should they. Sex is love to them. What’s wrong with that? Nature IS love. The Earth IS love. The natural world IS love. I’m holistic so resisting that is what drives us nuts. It’s the reason our healthcare system, our planet, and our society are falling apart is the DENIAL OF THE BODY which MEN LOVE more than anything. So what is patriarchy but men trying NOT TO BE DENIED THEIR MANHOOD by every single institution in existence? I’m just guessing. Don’t send me hate mail, please. What are we saying to them and about ourselves when we tell them to stop wanting sex so much? You may as well ask them to stop breathing or the sun to stop shining. Well, that IS what we’re doing to the planet right now.

Like Rajesh said to Penny on “Big Bang Theory”, “You can’t ruin a friendship with sex. That’s like ruining a chocolate cupcake with sprinkles!” My god, I love that line. It epitomizes the difference between how men and women think. I think if men had their way, they’d have sex with anyone, anytime just to show their love. It’s analogous to women showing their love by hugging and talking! We do that all the time and think it’s fine. But you say, “You can’t get pregnant hugging someone.” There is the crux of the issue and the problem for men. So use birth control and have as much sex as you want. The other crux; women’s feelings.

This is unfathomable for people to believe, but it is only recently in human history that people realized that it takes the male sperm to cause conception and make a human being. Up until that time, early humans thought it was magic, we had matriarchy where men were just having sex with anyone they wanted with any woman and going from place to place spreading their sperm around. No one knew who the fathers were, the children didn’t know their fathers and there was no marriage. That was matriarchy and women dominated and raised the children in groups of women and children. The men were off separate with one another.

I’m not saying I personally like the polyamorous nature of most men. I’m a female with high self-esteem so I believe I have plenty, just me alone, for a man who truly adores me. I just don’t expect it from most men. A man who prefers bitches and whores with no emotional bonding or love is one himself! When a man I’m with lets me know those are his values then I think, “Ok, then you aren’t going to get me. You’re only going to get a weak woman with no self-esteem and don’t whine about it. You get what you are!” Men with high self-esteem are attracted to women with high self-esteem and he’s done being polyamorous. That’s another level of nature. Men at the lower level, don’t even try to tell me that monogamous men who adore women who are fully in tune with their bodies and feelings don’t exist. They do! I can provide a man with great, varied sex, great conversation, loyal love and more. Can you take being loved?

Patriarchy changed all of that and territory, The state, The Church, and the institution of the family were born. Now we call it civilization. Have we decided if this is good or bad yet? We know now that when a man and woman live together and fight, which they always do, it is very psychologically damaging to the child. So how great is it really for the father to live with the mother and the child or children in just the family unit? Statistics show men tend to be violent toward the women and children too (domestic violence). So, I don’t know if patriarchy is working. Add to that the men’s testosterone loves war, blowing stuff up, rape, and what have you and I’m not sure women’s paradise has civilized them nor should it. Besides, we deny it to them most of the time and just think they should work and make money. That’s not fair to men.

We need a new way where the nature of men and the nature of woman is balanced. We just don’t know what that is yet while keeping the planet in one piece.

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Essay; a middle-aged, healthy woman gives up nothing during sex; she gains.


zooskThis article is so interesting as far as the male psyche goes. I had to read several sections a few times to understand it and I still need to mull it over.

Men Lose Respect for Women With Whom They Have Sex

“Some men and many women have been socialized into thinking that the woman gives up something during sex. This speaks to the male’s vision of conquest. He believes that he has said or done something to make the woman give in to him. He knows his true intentions are less than honorable, and so he projects his own internal sense of unworthiness onto the female by saying it is she, not him, who is worthless, easy, fast, desperate, stupid, etc. for falling prey to his advances. This kind of thinking completely strips the woman from having any natural right to her sexual desires and her choice to act upon such desires.”

The men don’t always say it’s the woman. My date felt guilty about himself because we were extremely lusty with each other. I never feel guilty about my body or sex so he was alone in that. But that last sentence is not something I’ve ever allowed but always wondered why my attitude wasn’t going anywhere. The energy would just fall flat so it seems it’s true. We are not empowered as women ruling over our own body yet, fully.

I’m dating on Zoosk again, having learned a few things the first time around with middle-aged men. I’ve had two bizarre dates in one week. The nice part was both men were very good looking, showed up, and we had good talks. The matching theme was they were both still hung up emotionally on past women and felt the woman broke their heart. They barely had anything good to say about her and blamed her for the end of things. I didn’t stand a chance to even start anything with either one of them. So why did they date me? One was just to talk and the other was horny and wanted sex. This was months or years ago and they hadn’t gotten over it. I’ve always conjectured that men get far more emotionally attached in a steady relationship with a woman but my experience with these men proves it. Guys are squishy!

The second thing is they tend to feel guilty about their sexuality probably because it’s so easy for them to just f*k and not be emotionally involved at all. I think they deplore themselves to a certain extent just because it so natural to them. I’ve even conjectured that men prefer to have sex with bad, cruel women because it’s a turn on for a man with low self-esteem which is many of them. They’re not really attracted to happy, lovely women. The younger men who are looking for a mate and mother for his children will look for a woman like that to marry because she is acceptable to his family but then choose a racier, wild woman on the side. It serves his desire for novelty. It’s not that he doesn’t love his wife, it’s that she’s too busy with the kids to be sexually deviant, to keep him entertained, and may not be a lusty type of woman.

Third, they were both pretty depressed, not happy campers. They both hinted at being lonely and talked about their kids and family far more than I did. I am the opposite of all of that so none of that sits well with me with a guy. Now that I think of it, every man I’ve been married to or dated has told me he’s depressed. It’s an epidemic. Not so with women. Women tend to be happy or know how to make themselves happy. I’m happy generally speaking and doing very well single.

“Women are perceived as being a threat simply because of their desirability. One facet to explore would be that the male ego is built upon a need or a drive to conquer, to expand, to be strong, to be dominant, etc and in the end, it is the female whom the male inevitably feels weak to.”

This quote applies directly to a good friend that I really like and am attracted to who is out of state. He’s as much as said this and I’ve been confused by it for ten months. The last thing I’ve ever tried to do with a man is to control him. I don’t have time or desire to conduct a man’s life yet he keeps saying women are so controlling. What kind of women has he been in a relationship with? Weak ones with no life and no ambition, no dreams? Co-dependent ones? I’m looking at that far away in the rear view mirror.

“Men are quite aware of how much we mean to them and this need for us can easily be misconstrued as being a weakness. So what do men do about their weakness? What do they do about things that they feel are beyond their wilful control? They try to deny their vulnerability while forcing their will. Thus women have many rules, stigmas, religious guidelines and laws to ensure that we are kept in a psychological position of subservience. It is no secret that most men do not like to even think of the woman of their affection being with another man. (possession) Fear causes men to manipulate women into denying their feminine desires which in turn causes us to feel guilty and sinful for certain behaviors.”

Nope. Not happening in my world. My male friend has been trying to keep me on a hook in just this way although he would never admit it. We both love each other as friends, spoken! We are both very hot for each other…spoken! We both want to have sex…spoken! But now he says he won’t go there with me because he “never does relationships”. Yes, he has. He told me he’s had two serious relationships with a woman. He’s friend-zoned me but I may have done it first frankly after he cavalierly said, “We can get a room.” The friend zone may as well be the “Twilight Zone” as far as I’m concerned unless I consider him my gay friend even though he presents very straight. Well, I believe him based on what he’s told me and the fact that he’s never been married. I don’t know what’s going on. The short of it is, we have so much in common and are so attracted to each other that we’re not ready to go there yet. I’m cool.

I’m leaving it to lie and getting what I need from other men. I’m not staying on his hook but it doesn’t mean I don’t love him. I do. But I won’t be controlled or denied sexually. No way no how. That’s an empowerment issue for me. Women need sex! Middle-aged women need sex! Are you going to supply it or not fella?

I don’t know if men in the U.S. think this way. I hope not. I do believe we’re coming to a more equitable sense of responsibility as consenting adults. The exception would be the religious men; Christians, who continue to want to be married and “take care of” a woman. This all needs to drop away. My last date was a Christian and he had no conception whatsoever of my humanity and conceiving of me as an independent woman taking care of myself. It was lost on him. That said, he was a very nice guy. Most of the men on Zoosk are Christian which is extremely troubling. That’s not going to work for me at all.

We’ll see. No sex the first date, that’s for sure. The way I’m feeling about my out of state friend who I talked to today, he’s the only one I want right now. Uh oh.

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Essay; With No Contact, The Attraction Wears Off


zoosk

I believe studies have shown this about women. The initial hormone high of attraction falls away if there is no contact, no talking (hearing his voice), you don’t see him and you receive no communication. That has been the case here. Because I’m intuitive, that has all kicked in very strong and I recommend following your intuition to women when it comes to these situations. Reason being, your body, and brain send certain signals based on ancestral DNA and successful reproduction in terms of sexual attraction and your soul intuition sends another. It’s unfortunate that the two are not always on the same track but I can tell you they are not.

I texted him and left one call regarding my Zoosk account getting hacked and being paused. I have heard nothing back. If a man isn’t as active on the account after he meets you, that’s a sign that he’s focused on you, but he was back on and not contacting me directly. Then I assume he was out in the alley again but I don’t know for sure. Ok! I wasn’t. I was watching him. What I know about men is, if they have not had sex with you and they don’t think they’re going to have sex with you in the immediate future, they have absolutely no motivation for communicating with you past the first date.

There is no way two people can value each other as human beings after only one date or even a couple dates! That means women, that even if you wait for a couple dates to have sex with him, there is no way you’re setting a tone for a relationship, love, or bonding to happen and he will continue to be an alley dog, learning nothing, and finding any b…. he fancies online who will give it to him quickly. That is men’s nature.

They are not to be judged for that. I’m making the point that if you want something different and he seems like a man to reproduce with or love, you cannot have sex with him right away. He needs self-discipline, not indulgence. If he shows no interest then and moves on, just because you wouldn’t have sex, he was not your reproduction type anyway.

And usually, a man will say up front that he IS looking for a relationship which could mean several things. Mostly, he may want children and a home. Men want that too. Just know that he will be a softer, more domesticated type and not as virile.

My situation is somewhat different because I’m not looking for a man to reproduce with. However, it’s the same in that I only want bonded sex, not alley dog sex. I need love with a man to be turned on and that is absolutely how I’m wired.

I’m monogamous and want a lover but I don’t like marriage. I know who I already love and who I want to share myself with for the second half of my life; my twin flame. But he’s not communicating with me very much or at least he’s not initiating at the moment and lives 1800 miles away.

For me, it’s a matter of being patient because I know what’s going on with him. What I can tell you is that he is very strong in my psychic, etheric space and that really counts with Twin Flames. So why am I on Zoosk? I’m testing myself and the energy. I also want to hang out and date to be social. I like men.

man and woman talking

Another thing about women is our sexual interest has everything to do with a man’s voice and how he talks to us. It just is. This is huge for men to accept if any of you are reading this. Maybe women are different on this but I don’t think so. I think all women are very strongly affected by the tone of voice and sincerity of voice from a man. We can tell when you’re lying which is most of the time.

If you are an honest man and tell the truth, that is very sexy and very impressive. My male friend in another state who I text and talk with said to me, “We lie because it works!” I said, “No it doesn’t! We can always tell and then you come down a few notches to us and have less chance of sex with us.” He must be referring to lying working on women that aren’t too bright. Don’t get me started on that.

It’s a good thing I really love my single life and have made a life for myself. Dealing with men is really so much gaming and brain mush. My Zoosk fellow is still up north for the week working. The weather in Michigan has been “stay off the roads!”. He told me he would be gone for a week after our first date. Maybe when he’s done with his project he’ll contact me. I honestly don’t care that much and have no emotion invested in him because he’s not talking to me.

Men are unpredictable. I still think he’s super cute but we’ll have to have a second date and see how the vibe is since he wouldn’t talk to me all week. And maybe I’m not that interested now. I’m unpredictable too. This is the dance we do. Just don’t chase him, women! Let him come to you.

Again, think of a dog and how you’d deal with one. My son’s father is the one that made me accept that visual. I would never suggest that about men but that’s because I’m idealistic. Now that I’m middle-aged I’m realistic.

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Essay; There is Pressure on Women to Hold Ourselves in Higher Esteem


“Women, love and honor yourself even if by the societal view you are a freak, brilliant, ugly or super beautiful, fit or not fit. If you’re not average, other women will be jealous and you’ll need to live with that.”

zoosk

The reason being, in truth, every woman is a goddess. Some women feel and know this and many more don’t and are very dependent as opposed to being interdependent. That’s where the jealousy and the trouble come in for men. Men long for us to know how beautiful we are and some get very co-dependent with low self-esteem women trying to convince them that they need to love themselves. Women are love on the planet but if a woman doesn’t claim that it becomes hell on earth. Men are mere mortals wishing to be superheroes! Men that think they’re gods already are gay or bi-sexual and have incorporated the female principle into themselves to try to bring balance. And how do they act? Like a woman! Fine, but they are still males and can’t make a human being in their body. There’s that. A male truly becomes a god when he joins with a female and they have a child together. That is a powerful creation and males and females get credit for that. If it’s only one child, that may be more responsible in my view. Society should never denigrate procreation. It’s our main biological mandate on the planet and would completely throw us off as a species if we no longer valued children.
gold tears klimt

“Men feel and view our bodies as heaven, paradise, light, love, sex, food, everything they want and need and they want and need to lose themselves in us.”

That is pressure on women. I am hearing that in every single modern day pop song sung by men. Women who watch it say, “ALL they want is SEX.”. To men, that’s the pinnacle on earth. That’s all there is or needs to be. That’s as happy as they can get. Like Bruno Mars sings, “Your sex takes me to paradise”. They mean it. Just because women are not that way doesn’t mean EVERYONE should be that way. To the extent to which society, Church, State, and women deny them the greatest heaven they can have is the degree to which they are frustrated, pissed, feeling upset and victimized and die early of heart disease. This issue has got to be seen and accepted by society about men and balanced with women taking care of themselves and making money.

They can’t be any different nor should they. Sex is love to them. What’s wrong with that? Nature IS love. The Earth IS love. The natural world IS love. I’m holistic so resisting that is what drives us nuts. It’s the reason our healthcare system, our planet, and our society are falling apart is the DENIAL OF THE BODY which MEN LOVE more than anything. So what is patriarchy but men trying NOT TO BE DENIED THEIR MANHOOD by every single institution in existence? I’m just guessing. Don’t send me hate mail, please. What are we saying to them and about ourselves when we tell them to stop wanting sex so much? You may as well ask them to stop breathing or the sun to stop shining. Well, that IS what we’re doing to the planet right now.

Like Rajesh said to Penny on “Big Bang Theory”, “You can’t ruin a friendship with sex. That’s like ruining a chocolate cupcake with sprinkles!” My god, I love that line. It epitomizes the difference between how men and women think. I think if men had their way, they’d have sex with anyone, anytime just to show their love. It’s analogous to women showing their love by hugging and talking! We do that all the time and think it’s fine. But you say, “You can’t get pregnant hugging someone.” There is the crux of the issue and the problem for men. So use birth control and have as much sex as you want. The other crux; women’s feelings.

This is unfathomable for people to believe, but it is only recently in human history that people realized that it takes the male sperm to cause conception and make a human being. Up until that time, early humans thought it was magic, we had matriarchy where men were just having sex with anyone they wanted with any woman and going from place to place spreading their sperm around. No one knew who the fathers were, the children didn’t know their fathers and there was no marriage. That was matriarchy and women dominated and raised the children in groups of women and children. The men were off separate with one another.

I’m not saying I personally like the polyamorous nature of most men. I’m a female with high self-esteem so I believe I have plenty, just me alone, for a man who truly adores me. I just don’t expect it from most men. A man who prefers bitches and whores with no emotional bonding or love is one himself! When a man I’m with lets me know those are his values then I think, “Ok, then you aren’t going to get me. You’re only going to get a weak woman with no self-esteem and don’t whine about it. You get what you are!” Men with high self-esteem are attracted to women with high self-esteem and he’s done being polyamorous. That’s another level of nature. Men at the lower level, don’t even try to tell me that monogamous men who adore women who are fully in tune with their bodies and feelings don’t exist. They do! I can provide a man with great, varied sex, great conversation, loyal love and more. Can you take being loved?

Patriarchy changed all of that and territory, The state, The Church, and the institution of the family were born. Now we call it civilization. Have we decided if this is good or bad yet? We know now that when a man and woman live together and fight, which they always do, it is very psychologically damaging to the child. So how great is it really for the father to live with the mother and the child or children in just the family unit? Statistics show men tend to be violent toward the women and children too (domestic violence). So, I don’t know if patriarchy is working. Add to that the men’s testosterone loves war, blowing stuff up, rape, and what have you and I’m not sure women’s paradise has civilized them nor should it. Besides, we deny it to them most of the time and just think they should work and make money. That’s not fair to men.

We need a new way where the nature of men and the nature of woman is balanced. We just don’t know what that is yet while keeping the planet in one piece.