Category: self-care

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Essay: Addiction as a Shield


My drug of choice was sugar (top right), particularly cheesecake. I never do it anymore. Anything can actually be a drug of choice which is your “go-to” when you don’t feel you can deal with the emotions of a bad situation, or a toxic vampiric relationship sucking the life force from you, or traumatic memories because you don’t know how to put up boundaries or kick the memories in the huevos.

People are addicted to all kinds of things, even working out! For instance, no one needs to work out two hours a day, seven days a week and it is extremely unhealthy. The body won’t tolerate it.

Sometimes a way out takes some thought and planning. If you’re in survival mode, who has time for thought and planning? Well, that’s what we tell ourselves. Sometimes we say, “I’ll plan it out tomorrow,” and tomorrow means never. Do it now.

Now that I’m on the wagon and eating very healthy, shrinking, dealing with my feelings, setting boundaries and exercising, I can see how ironic the addiction shield is. In my case, my fat layers were my shield but they didn’t work. I still had men hitting on me.

It’s SUCH a myth that men are only attracted to thin women. HUGE freaking lie. It didn’t work and I felt horrible. My husband and then men after him, after my divorce, still wanted my sexual energy and liked me fat layers and all. I must put out an energy I’m not fully aware of yet but I don’t intend to. I am who I am! I have to figure it out.

All of the other addictive substances and activities not done in moderation will hurt your health as well and we know them. So, who needs a shield against an enemy, which could be mate, family, bad job, boss, the IRS, you name it when you’re busy destroying yourself on the other side of the shield??

That is the irony. Most addicts feel like they’re empowering themselves by rebelling, defiantly smoking the cigarette or dab pen 6-10 times a day or anything else. You’re defying yourself!

You’re hurting yourself behind the shield you’ve put up supposedly so others can’t get to you. Instead, YOU can’t get to you. It makes no sense and no one cares really if you want to destroy yourself of not. That’s the awful truth of our world.

You do have to be your own best friend and it still continues to amaze me how much more I’m ignored the better I do on my own. That’s another irony. I think it’s the pity and rescuing thing. People who need to rescue themselves are addicted to rescuing others and pitying them. All codependent. If you don’t fit that description, you are not useful to them.

If you really want to resist and be defiant against the machine (family, marriage, church, and state), LOVE YOURSELF, figure out how to make yourself happy, get so hot and so fit that everyone who said they loved you before find themselves deliciously jealous, hating you, trying to cut you down, and not talking to you anymore and dissing you.

You’re too together for them now. Then you’ll see what I’m sayin’. They are so down on themselves and you’re not, that they have to project that out to stay in denial about their own power to change or willingness to exert themselves to achieve it.

There is nothing wrong with you wanting to improve yourself, in fact, the opposite. Live alone and organize your money so that you can support yourself and pay your bills. Think it through.

You don’t need the shield of defense anymore in the form of addiction because you’re right out in front, asserting yourself and picking your battles and hopefully, winning a few. Win the battles with YOURSELF, put that shield down and go after the kind of body and life you want, one day at a time.

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Essay: Keep Living


journeypower

My mother wonders aloud, how I keep going, pay all the bills, live alone and somehow thrive. I am thriving because I stay home mostly, away from predatory men looking for transactional investment, stay celibate deducated to LOVE not lust, not fake romance, and take care of myself. I read math and physics not recipes.

Maybe friends who know me wonder too. I don’t know. They don’t say anything.

It’s pretty simple; passion. At every turn, out in public, in former jobs and relationships, in politics and on FB, on every TV show and magazine that comes in the mail and song I hear on the radio, it seeks to define and control me as a woman, I suppose for the purpose of money and sex. I never saw so much drivel and malarky, disingenuous ignorant propaganda as what passes for women’s values in print, in media, and in society. “Women’s Day” magazine could be used as the phone book in an outhouse.

Do I really mainly care about clothes, shoes, hair, makeup, women’s pharmaceuticals, reorganizing my closets, romantic books and movies, babies, cooking and the latest cleaning products? No.

I want to increase my education, my income, and my independence. I want to feel my body so keenly that I’m the best lover I can be. I want my 20-year-old son to never feel obligated to take care of me because I take care of myself and I want nothing more than to see him happy as a man.

I can’t wait to get my next book in the mail to read and use to improve my mind, and I only clean in 5-minute spurts so I don’t have to think about it. I’ve got more interesting things to think about than a clean floor.

I wake up every day to be happy and well, to create and define myself as a human birthright and I get a passionate kick out of it. My blank canvas to create on is my life and I’m giving no more away than I already have. I’d rather live than die a slow death, calling it life, while reacting to someone else’s vision of the world that I don’t feel or care about.

I am a nice person but I’m not dumb. I need reciprocation with a man or I stay alone. I’m not bored, I’m enjoying my own company and having fun.

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Essay: Breath controls Feelings


via Alone/lonely

I was just inspired by Cristian Mihai’s most recent blog today about being alone. I shared the link above. Please read it if you have not. I actually just blogged on “I’m Alone Now” just a week or so ago too because my nineteen-year-old son just left the house.

I told Cristian that I related exactly to about eighty-percent of how he feels and I’m guessing many writers on here are introverts and love to be alone. But for me, it’s very positive. I never feel lonely. In fact, I wish I had longer streams of time, undisturbed alone to read, think and write. I’m still very busy in my home and have a small holistic business here so people are in and out. That may be part of it, I’m not sure.

I paused when Cristian wrote, “You can’t change how you feel”. Long pause. “Hmmm.” “No, he’s right.” I thought. “Feelings are organic. They just come up.” We all know that and it’s part of what makes us writers. But I have a physical process I go through that I want to share that turns my tears, worry, anxiety, sadness, the concern that comes up organically into feeling better.

I observe my breath. In and out. It is MY breath in MY body. I have complete control over how my breathing feels and how I allow my breath to reach my organs. I envision my blood pulsing through me. It feels very warm and loving. I relax my feet and make sure they are planted on the ground. I relax my legs. As a writer, I find immense joy and gratitude in feeling my brain and eyes process like a computer, my thoughts and then how my hands-on type. Then I stop and observe my breathing again. I am alive. I knew once and can remember what it felt like when I was almost dead in 1996 the day before my birthday when I had an ectopic pregnancy. I have this day, this time to keep learning and processing my journey in my body that no one else can control. I have control over this process and this moment.

So, I guess my technique is grounding. Think of a two-pronged plug that you put into a grounded wall socket. The two prongs are your legs and the electrical outlet is the ground; the Earth. When you inhabit and are mindful of your physical process, the chaotic, mean, death-riddled, unloving world can swirl around you unhindered. You have no control over any of them or their events. But you do have total, unequivocal control over tuning into YOUR BODY, plugging it in and turning it on and observing how each part of your body feels, not just the thoughts and emotions you tend to be running that day based on events, either theirs or yours.

I love my body so much for having its own balanced process that literally guides me and grounds me each day. Of course, I honor my heart, which has its organic emotional flow, but it…is…fickle. The heart is fickle!! At least mine is. Of course, I honor my thought processes. The brain/mind is amazing in its ability to digest and process information but the eyes only see what is visible, right in front of it in the light and believe only what it sees. The eyes only see ILLUSION and then your mind tells you it’s real. It’s a pretty good magic trick. The heart only feels immediate feelings and tell you they are real.

The body doesn’t lie. Your breath doesn’t lie. Just as sure as the trees know exactly how deep to push their roots, reach up with their branches, leaf out, drop their leaves and blow in a storm, so your body also has billions of years of DNA in evolution and it knows exactly…what to do. The same is true for all of nature from season to season. Nature is the truth and life itself.

Our health care system, our society, our media, and our civilization would take that grounding, the Earth life force, Gaia in all of her eternal ways and consciousness and tell her who she is and when to do it, as though she were a little girl. They would control that vital physical knowledge for themselves, hijack it from you and tell the daughters and sons of the Earth that they know your body better. They don’t. It’s your body, your truth, your power and your reason for being on the planet. Let the wisdom and rhythm of your body guide your heart and mind and you will be in a safe harbor while you live no matter what your heart and mind “see”.

Our bodies are ancient and universal and intimately tied to everything on the planet. We are gods and goddesses in all different forms dancing our way through time and eternity just for the sheer experience of it. Our in-breath and out-breath prove it.

freedom-bound-qtr-1@2x

Freedom Bound by Sculptor Paige Bradley, http://paigebradley.com

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Essay: Keep Living


journeypower

My mother wonders aloud, how I keep going, pay all the bills, live alone and somehow thrive. I am thriving because I stay home mostly, away from predatory men looking for transactional investment, stay celibate deducated to LOVE not lust, not fake romance, and take care of myself. I read math and physics not recipes.

Maybe friends who know me wonder too. I don’t know. They don’t say anything.

It’s pretty simple; passion. At every turn, out in public, in former jobs and relationships, in politics and on FB, on every TV show and magazine that comes in the mail and song I hear on the radio, it seeks to define and control me as a woman, I suppose for the purpose of money and sex. I never saw so much drivel and malarky, disingenuous ignorant propaganda as what passes for women’s values in print, in media, and in society. “Women’s Day” magazine could be used as the phone book in an outhouse.

Do I really mainly care about clothes, shoes, hair, makeup, women’s pharmaceuticals, reorganizing my closets, romantic books and movies, babies, cooking and the latest cleaning products? No.

I want to increase my education, my income, and my independence. I want to feel my body so keenly that I’m the best lover I can be. I want my 20-year-old son to never feel obligated to take care of me because I take care of myself and I want nothing more than to see him happy as a man.

I can’t wait to get my next book in the mail to read and use to improve my mind, and I only clean in 5-minute spurts so I don’t have to think about it. I’ve got more interesting things to think about than a clean floor.

I wake up every day to be happy and well, to create and define myself as a human birthright and I get a passionate kick out of it. My blank canvas to create on is my life and I’m giving no more away than I already have. I’d rather live than die a slow death, calling it life, while reacting to someone else’s vision of the world that I don’t feel or care about.

At least I’m not bored, I’m enjoying my own company and having fun.

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Essay: Subject-Object in Life


Today is July 7, 2026. I wrote this in 2018 as a newly single woman. I LOVE this post. I had a take on women and men’s roles that is unique. We just need to love each other and not be a subject or an object. 💕

I’m on this planet to act, not be acted upon and that’s not selfish. It’s what we all need to do; act on behalf of ourselves in our own lives so we can unconditionally give to one another.

Remember diagraming those sentences in school? Subject, verb, object. “What is the subject of the sentence and how does it act (the verb) on the object?”

There is much hoopla made of women being sexually objectified but when these issues come up, I always try to think about it intuitionally as well as rationally because it’s so easy to stereotype based on gender.

It is widely observed that males do tend to be the subject of most movies, books, sporting events, commercials, anchors on the news, utility companies, Presidents, and CEOs. The male perception of things does, in fact, run the planet. That’s patriarchy.

But does that mean that men are never objectified? Think about the system of patriarchy a second. Patriarchy is about usage and consumption. It’s about money, power, death, and oppression, control and victory at any cost. There isn’t much good about it. I’d say there is nothing good about it. In a system such as that, militarism, monetary debt, toxic waste, pathological lying, corrupt government leaders and religion are rife. It doesn’t do much good on the planet. But both women and men shore up patriarchy by accepting their roles of subject-object, rarely reversing them. They could reverse them, or in a loving partnership, both of them are subjects and never objects. So, in that scenario, isn’t it reasonable to assume that:

“Patriarchy eats everything”; Subject/verb/object. Men are consumed as well by the monster. They, in turn, are taught and expected to consume woman.

No one escapes and no one wins really. That means men are objectified too by the system as being set up over and over again as the subject of every last, damn, thing. They are, after all, most of the millions dead from two World Wars. Just watch TV with pen and paper and make two columns Male/Female and make a vertical slash every time you see a woman, every time you see a man and watch the men’s column pile up. That’s not a good thing for men or for women. It’s unbalanced! I personally wouldn’t want all that focus. It’s too much pressure.

When women are portrayed on TV they are rarely if ever portrayed as subjects or the ones acting first in the sentence. If they are it’s as a conniving wench, a bitch, a sweet mother or a nurse. Patriarchy doesn’t allow for women to be portrayed as a strong subject; a female lead. Hillary Clinton did that and she was crucified. The message, “Women, don’t ever try to be the subject of the sentence in the United States of America.”

I’ve had too many men say to me, “You just want attention.” My response, “No, I’d just like to be the subject, not the object being acted upon by you most of the time.” But somehow, I doubt most women even know they’re the object being acted upon. They take it for granted that it is their role because they follow system dictates unconsciously. The media and the church do the brainwashing.

For the first time in my life, living in the house I own, I am the subject of my own life and I am able to give focus and make each of my patients that come here the subject in my office. I started out my physical life as a child being extremely objectified by my parents, then school, then college, then my parents literally threw me to a Chicago curb when I was eighteen like so much garbage, then men, on and on for half of my life. Women are not seen or known or even wanting to be known by anyone as people! But are men either? They have that subject role to carry around all the time like a rock in a backpack. Not even our other women friends who are too busy being objectified by their families that define them, want to spend time with me.

Well, in my house, “The patient receives therapy from me.” Subject/verb/object. I guess I’m a pronoun in my office. That’s just fine because I’m the subject of my life for the rest of the time because I have important work to do and I’m doing it.

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Essay: There are no men left in the house. Peace. This was written in 2018


My followers keep clicking on this one, written in 2018. I’m thriving living alone. But I’m not alone. I see patients all the time. It is now June 27, 2026.

t has finally happened after twenty years. I live alone in my house, no men, no noise, no demands for food or rides, this or that, “Mom can you help me!” “C’ mon, let’s go to the store”.

My son’s dad died three years ago in 2015…the last time I saw him was Christmas Day. Five days later, he was gone. I barely eeked out a smile as I said goodbye. He had been pretty emotionally abusive to me, frustrated his whole life, not knowing he was high-functioning autistic savant until three months beforehand. My efforts at solace could not change his brain, but he was a music legend on the pile of my torn apart heart. In addition, my son did not see his father respect me; the fruits of patriarchy.

Three months later my fiance died. I had fifteen minutes notice. We loved each other and did everything for each other. It was not to be. He had not taken care of his body and it caught up with him.

Now four days ago, my nineteen-year-old son went out the door with his backpack and no notice to start his hero’s adventure quest which is his birthright. Good for him but he could have warned me! It reminded me of the sudden death of my fiance.

On his way out, of course, he was mad at me and said I was so selfish. I suppose because I take care of myself and being a female, that is unacceptable and taboo. I wonder if he thought of the effect of his words on me, skipping them like stones across the water? Doubtful at his age. I’ve been called selfish alot because I’m independent and have my own life that I share with a few people who don’t ask me to stop loving physics and time science just because I’m a girl.

But the men walk out quickly and don’t return I’ve learned, to the other side of this world…or town. It doesn’t matter. They’re not with me.

It is so peaceful in this house without a raucous male. Part of me has waited twenty years to take my body back from my partners and my son, and before that, a line of men, but not a long line.

Now I get an adventure quest; a fresh start, the second half of my life, a thriving business, a home, free to do whatever I want and a body with no risk of pregnancy. I haven’t given it all away.

It’s like this secret I have as a fifty-five -year-old who no one would suspect and assumes in our youth worshipping culture, female sacrificing altars around every corner, that I’m all washed up. “Hasn’t that woman been laid flat yet? Well, why not?” (My mother keeps literally asking that as though she’s waiting for me to fall) I SHOULD fall or it doesn’t look good?

“She’s Selfish!” they cry. With a capital “S” not a small “s”. There is the low self and the Higher Self. No. I just don’t believe in aging and atrophy. I don’t follow social programming.

Truth is, I am my own best friend and for the first time in my life, I’m taking care of my body for me and no one else. More and more women are doing it. I’m not alone. We still have work to do and adventure quests to commence. Ridiculous isn’t it.

I feign an attitude and a bird ready to flip until my dying day…because I said so.

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Essay: Everyday Spirituality; Stillness is Very Powerful


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How to Deal With Your Anxiety


Your feelings hang in time, past and future, in your etheric body. That programs your DNA. Just think about NOW and ask for what you want and need, right down the center of your body, and you’ll be fine.

Generalized anxiety is epidemic right now. I had two patients cancel this week because they couldn’t leave the house. It’s not good for them and it’s not good for business.

Small business is taking a hit in this new society that is falling apart, but I’m not anxious about it. Lightworkers have been looking forward to it. I know there is income out there, and some will come my way because I offer an indispensable service; PEACE. Reiki clears the etheric body, which is old negative feelings and new negative feelings about the future.

You’re able to release past and future memories and obsessions that hang in your aura if you do really want to feel better. I encourage and teach meditation in the center of your body, the brain, and spinal energy magnetized. It’s not difficult.

But your mind must accept that you are more than a flesh and blood body to get aligned. The 3D clenching is the cause of anxiety right now because we’re evolving forward, and our minds are expanding to include universal realities such as a vast inhabited universe with species who look like us mostly, and hang out here.

I will admit that I don’t go out where there are many people milling around, but it’s because I don’t like expending the extra energy in my etheric body to keep my defenses up. That, and when everyone obeyed media marching orders in March 2020, I lost faith in humanity. I haven’t regained it…yet. I never obeyed, and I thrived. I am stronger and heallthier than before, and I’m glad we’re going forward.

Maybe you’d have less anxiety if you stopped doing as you’re told by others and media. Center in your body. Listen to your breathing. I use my time constructively at home to meditate and remote view now that the nefarious are doubled down on their destructive ways toward humanity. It’s what I enjoy.

You see, in their view, humans are supposed to be slaves for their profit and stop being co-reators and artists. You could say NO to that, flip the bird and feel better. Or, realize that they aren’t going to win. The earth and humans have been evolving for millions and billions or years. It always changes, but it isn’t going to end.

Being creative, walking, and hanging out with a friend can help, most of all, your best friend, yourself. Be the best friend you’ve always wanted, for yourself.💜 And stop listening to others. Listen to yourself.

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One more Thing About Anxiety…


I didn’t say this because it’s totally taboo and freaks people out, especially religious. And I’ve never said this on here.

WE are God or Source, EMBODIED. YOU are God. God is love, NOT control. This is a free will universe of choices. Every great teacher and Master has said it and been ignored. Jesus even said, “The Spirit of God is within you. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.”Well, your BLOOD AND GUTS are in you too. Whatever is IN YOU is what you are unless it’s meant to come out, like defecation or birthing a baby.

Birthing a baby is a great example of Source and us. Ask any mother and they will tell you that not in a bazillion years can they ever feel separate from their child, even though our sick patriarchal society does it damdest to separate parents from children by blowing them up in war, indoctrination in schools, sexual perversity, etc. Parents always love their children, and God birthed us and all creation into being.

Humans are full of longing to love and be loved, but it starts in you for yourself with Source. But this planet isn’t normal! We can barely have normal human lives here, struggling for fresh water, food and air, BASIC things we need! But we have free will and need to get rid of these leaders ourselves. It’s not going to be done for us. We did a good job busting their chops over Covid. Now we need to bust government and money chops.

Don’t blame yourself for how hard this planet is. Humans are fabulous and loved by stellar species. It’s the elite. They are way off and need to leave the planet so we can go our own way.

So do realize that Source’s only way to experience embodiment is THROUGH US. It is a type of longing, the way a parent or lover longs for their child or love. We long for Source and SOURCE LONGS FOR US! We are adored. We are not worms, ants, or insects, although they are cared for too. We are children of Source. We are Source and Source is US.

It’s a big secret.💞💕🩷❤️

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How to Deal With Your Anxiety


Your feelings hang in time, past and future, in your etheric body. That programs your DNA. Just think about NOW and ask for what you want and need, right down the center of your body, and you’ll be fine.

Generalized anxiety is epidemic right now. I had two patients cancel this week because they couldn’t leave the house. It’s not good for them and it’s not good for business.

Small business is taking a hit in this new society that is falling apart, but I’m not anxious about it. Lightworkers have been looking forward to it. I know there is income out there, and some will come my way because I offer an indispensable service; PEACE. Reiki clears the etheric body, which is old negative feelings and new negative feelings about the future.

You’re able to release past and future memories and obsessions that hang in your aura if you do really want to feel better. I encourage and teach meditation in the center of your body, the brain, and spinal energy magnetized. It’s not difficult.

But your mind must accept that you are more than a flesh and blood body to get aligned. The 3D clenching is the cause of anxiety right now because we’re evolving forward, and our minds are expanding to include universal realities such as a vast inhabited universe with species who look like us mostly, and hang out here.

I will admit that I don’t go out where there are many people milling around, but it’s because I don’t like expending the extra energy in my etheric body to keep my defenses up. That, and when everyone obeyed media marching orders in March 2020, I lost faith in humanity. I haven’t regained it…yet. I never obeyed, and I thrived. I am stronger and heallthier than before, and I’m glad we’re going forward.

Maybe you’d have less anxiety if you stopped doing as you’re told by others and media. Center in your body. Listen to your breathing. I use my time constructively at home to meditate and remote view now that the nefarious are doubled down on their destructive ways toward humanity. It’s what I enjoy.

You see, in their view, humans are supposed to be slaves for their profit and stop being co-reators and artists. You could say NO to that, flip the bird and feel better. Or, realize that they aren’t going to win. The earth and humans have been evolving for millions and billions or years. It always changes, but it isn’t going to end.

Being creative, walking, and hanging out with a friend can help, most of all, your best friend, yourself. Be the best friend you’ve always wanted, for yourself.💜 And stop listening to others. Listen to yourself.

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Feeling Better Emotionally Comes Directly From Sitting in the Sun


The Maya were Sun Worshipers. But it is still a good idea to honor and respect the Sun since the Earth was born out of the Sun, Our star.

Our connection to our Higher Self from the astral plane up to 13th density comes right into the eyes through the sun. All 13 chakras or our Lightbody are activated by The Sun.

We must absorb sunlight to grow just like plants with photosynthesis. The sun also activates or makes Vitamin D that is already in our bodies. It cures a myriad of ills. We are no different. We need soil, grounding in the earth, water, and sunlight to be mentally and physically balanced. We are natural beings like trees and always will be.

We don’t necessarily need much food at all or social with others especially if they are toxic and projecting, doing transference, and offloading because they are not aware of God in them. I’m sensitive to people who are unloving or using food all the time to feed themselves instead of energy. I start to feel sick or drained around them.

They’re using others in all types of relationships to create a surrogate parent or they unconsciously vampire energy off of others because they don’t know how to create their own. It just creates chaos and is not spiritual at all but childish. We are in a time now where that will have to end if you are to come into your own light body, your Higher Self.

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Essay: Addiction as a Shield


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Prose; Self-Interest


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Essay; Compromise With a Partner You Value


man and woman talking

There is much talk lately about never sacrificing yourself in an intimate relationship with a lover or a partner. I agree that it never works to lie or to give up so much of your time and what you want and need to do with your body and energy that you become very unhappy.

I’m single, dating, totally getting healthy and feeling my goddess core after having been to hell and back with men and babies dying; four altogether. I have a wonderful son who is twenty-seven. He’s a fabulous man and trying to figure it out as we all did.
As I look for a new partner at the age of fifty-six the landscape and reason for mating is completely different and has completely changed. The younger men don’t even hesitate now to let me know of their interest and I actually really like younger men…as lovers and friends. They are far more open-minded and less biased. But as a mate?

It seems to me that mating is now more about friendship, cooperation, and helping one another for the second half of our lives. The libido is there and there has to be an attraction but in no way is sex the same because I can’t get pregnant.

It’s a big deal and huge incentive to stay mobile, hip, and sexy. As you age you really do need more help, more muscle, and a helpmate for different reasons instead of raising children.

However, there is a big difference now between giving something up of my single life habits in middle age and the sacrifice for my family in my youth. You realize this might be your last hurrah with mating love; real love; not love based on societal marriage and children which is based on family norms and proscribed roles.

Love in middle age is completely free. No one has to approve of you because you’re going to have children together. You’re not going to merge immediate families necessarily. You can if you want, I suppose just out of habit, but there is no obligation to.

It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks; at all. There are no expectations on any front because you don’t share DNA with children.

When you value someone’s presence in your life, you let go of a habit or activity and compromise because you want to not because you have to. So there is no more sacrifice. It can be unconditional love.

The fact of the matter is, when you have a spouse and children, you HAVE to do certain things. There is no choice whether you like it or not.

Honestly, becoming a parent does require sacrifice which is very worth it, is extremely hard but it ends and many people are left alone in their house. Some people hate it. I love it!

I really enjoyed having a family but I love my own life too and have been pondering whether I’d want to give up pieces of it for a new mate.

I’d be willing to adjust if I really loved and valued my partner and knew that we were reciprocating. There is no way I’d fall into my old role of jumping when he needed me, jumping when my son needed me, cooking when they’re hungry. Nope.

Once in a while, I might but not if I don’t feel like it. There would also be much more space in our togetherness because you really do treasure your alone time after you’ve had a family. The quiet is really priceless.