Category: Relationships

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Prose: ELEMENTAL


©️Lisa K. Townsend 2018 all rights reserved

Fire and Ice

Woman… fire in chains walking through man’s ice storm.

There is barely anywhere for us to rest on pliable earth, caressed by dew-kissed grass and flowers and visited by genial insects and creatures.

Man is a covetous, territorial beast, contemplating a meal, food for his belly, something to drink, and metal coins, hardware and paper and food from the earth, animals and fruit. They come from her blistering fires too from which he creates.

He craves the warmth of her fire that never dulls and memory of the Sun before the ice came to steal human souls.

Suspicious of her, he does not understand, nor can he control her unless…he loves. Her fire can melt or burn, and he only steals some warmth for a short time.

A man who loves is a magnificent animal, one that knows no limits and has unbounded strength. He has the strength of the earth, turned from ice and the sun combined because he is the seed willing to lose its cover to allow Life.

He willingly takes her to him, feasts, shares, adores, and provides a safe place for her fertile ground to grow the eternal seeds she holds from before the time of The Dragon. She holds them still.

But he cannot stay next to her for long or he will melt.

He tries and survival beckons his traverse, summoned by a great dirge of possible conquest and the illusions of mind and heart that he believes are real because his core does not yet burn with equable insight.

Frozen, halcyon outsight of a gelid wasteland is still his birthright.

The feracious earth was given to her as a prolific garden and she waits yet for his icy heart to warm the arable soil for her so she can grow the fruit of breakable man in virile beauty, not in frozen, acrid death and blood.

He is…breakable because he is mortal! The seed must be broken in the soil to become eternal!

She is still in unyielding chains, unloved, unprotected, terribly alone in her vital fire that cannot be momentarily extinguished.

The Sun gave birth to the earth, to ice, to Time and its incessant movement will not cease.

The erudite Magician has given him the wand with which to channel her calescent magic because her heat increases.

Time must move forward but the dexterous tools of man can only thrive if they are forged with the luminosity of her body, to tend the garden of the Earth.

It may lie fallow and untended unless the fire that man discovered can be born in him by tending to her heat. Then he will remain.

Until then he will die, just as he was born.

February 17, 2018

She is talking about the same thing I am in my prose 👇

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Essay: Women and Men Express Love Differently


I wrote this post in 2018.

I’ve noticed on FB threads and my blogs that women like to hear my thoughts far more than men. Men want women to be quiet. That doesn’t mean we’re going to be but I’m approaching it from a biological brain difference.

Men can only take so much talking from others, except for their own. They love to hear themselves talk. Most women can’t get enough.

Over twenty years I’ve observed the energy and bodies of men and women and found that women need to talk but men don’t usually want to listen or talk. Hopefully, if your man does need to talk, he knows he can talk to you and you’ll be understanding. That should be reciprocated on occasion.

Men literally need our bodies or body language to communicate to us. We need their love (male heart vibe). So, men express love physically, not verbally.

Women express love mentally and emotionally because that’s what we each need. Men live in their minds with each other. Women live in their bodies with each other and it can be overkill either way.😌 I think that’s part of why humans tend to be heterosexual (male and female living together). I know I couldn’t handle living with a woman, sex or no sex. I’m woman enough for myself.

Do women hear men’s silent body language to us or do we assume it’s shallow objectification? Do men hear a woman’s feelings in her tone of voice and writing or do they just hear static blather? Sometimes neither one of us is listening but judging by our own bias instead.
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Essay: “I care about you too but…”


I first blogged this in 2020.

I’ve heard this line from the last five men I’ve dated. I think it’s a MINIMUM expression of emotional involvement, fake or not to try to get sex.

Meaning, he’s not going to have any feelings for you UNLESS he has sex with you. I’m not judging that. It’s very male. That’s how feelings come about for a guy…sex. They are a wall when it comes to relational feelings. Women shouldn’t even want relational feelings from a man at the beginning. It’s a black hole.

As far as I can tell, they need feelings of lust for a woman or there is literally nothing happening. They may be into you on ALL other levels but if they don’t lust for you they don’t want you.

From my observation, they need to lust specifically for your breasts, crotch, or ass. The rest is negotiable. That gets their feelings going toward relational.

The problem here for men is, they think if they have major feelings of lust for a woman there could be a relationship. That is the doggone dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. That’s what gets men in trouble and highly used and thrown by manipulative women.

That’s the compromise for women. We’re relational and intuitive and can know our feelings very easily without sex. That said, sex can ruin our feelings for a guy too if he’s too sexually selfish or just doesn’t “get” us or our body.

My feelings evaporate for any man, no matter how princely he is if he doesn’t care whether or not I come. That’s just a freaking abomination to everything alive on the planet. Don’t ever do that, guys!

In addition, don’t insult the life I’ve made for myself by assuming that just because I like you, care about you as a friend and want to have sex with you that I want a relationship prison; either boyfriend/girlfriend or even possible marriage. Just slow down!

There has to be some in-between space with a guy. There are lots of gray areas between, “I care about you as a friend” and “I’m very attracted to you let’s have sex.” Don’t assume meanings to any of that and run the other way.

It’s up to two people to decide how things play out. You have to discuss it. Again, discussion is not a strong point for men but they have to mature in this aspect or I’m not interested.

I think many men are most emotionally comfortable having sex with a woman they don’t really love or care about but just lust for; keeping in mind that they call that a feeling. Like, “I feel like I have to take a dump” feeling. I call it defecation sex. It feels great and means nothing.

Generally, they don’t want to have sex with a woman they do care about because that complicates emotions for him that he doesn’t understand and can’t control as well as a woman can. It’s too possible the woman could lasso him without his seeing it coming.

Are his actions loving? Because he can say all kinds of bs just to get laid. I’ve had one good friend admit to me that it is SO easy to lie to women. Just tell them what they want to hear!

It’s very easy for them to lie to women because we’re hungry for affection, even desperate and love flattery. We get NO LOVING TOUCH from a man. They are usually takers, not loving givers and that makes many women feel desperate. Women need to reign that in and get more realistic about men and figure out how to take care of themselves.

If a man says he doesn’t want a relationship but lets you know he sometimes does hook-ups, his values are wrongminded or he has low self-esteem.

Either that or he’s lying because he doesn’t even do that! It’s no different than a woman who is all too eager and willing to do hook-ups. It’s very common. He’s ambitious then and trying to get something back that he lost; part of his ego, part of his psyche where he thought he understood what real love was.

He has conditions on himself. He didn’t think he was good enough. He got hammered by love and commitment and maybe financially as well. Then he has unresolved insecurities from his ex that he hasn’t let go of.

In no way is he ready to love a new woman and I’d stay clear. I would say move on then. He’s probably still in love with her if not based on facts or actions on her part, then to kid himself that no matter how horrible she treated him, she still wants him back.

Women do it too with men but women find it much easier to move on from breakups than men do because we understand emotions.

It’s all a conundrum isn’t it, this bonding. But we keep trying.

being alone

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Essay: My ex husband, my son’s father was like Bill Evans


Dave was high functioning autistic.

And he smoked himself to lung cancer, Bill with that cigarette hanging out of his mouth. 🎶 People judge smokers but drink alcohol like a fish. So hypocritical. Alcohol is socially acceptable like greed and banking. Dave didn’t drink or do any drugs. He loved to smoke. Cigarette smoking and baseball are for the working class poor people because we dare to have an imagination.

Pick your poison. Artist or brilliant brain people sometimes need a drug to cope with this planet that has a very hard time with people who express themselves brilliantly. Even Dave’s friends called him a freak which I didn’t appreciate.

If you ask anyone who knew him or played with him in Grand Rapids would agree or think he was better because he also played bass and drums.

Sometimes I I miss him. There is no music played in this house anymore. We used to play together often. I just can’t feel it in me now…since 2016.

At least I figured out how physics phase conjugate beams move between harmonics in the Tzolkin and express our destiny in time. That’s what I do now. 🥳 It’s a compromise while those music feelings sit there.

After I finished writing this I realized that today is his analog. He was White 4 Wizard~Red 4 Serpent. He’s probably around right now. Synchronicity.

Oscar with Joe Pass, a favorite

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Essay: Intimacy Balances out by…Part II


I wrote Part I in 2019 and it’s taken me 7 years to write Part II because I gave up and have been single since 2016. I dated after I was widowed but was called a black widow too much by troll men. It was terrible. I just kept working and got my body and heart back that I’d given away.

Since 2019 and the onset of scamdemic, we are now in a paradigm shift led by AI, billionaire AI prophets, more tech than ever, and more blasting radios and motorcycles ridden by men not getting any attention from a woman for good reason. They don’t speak with words but with blasting radios and car engines.

When I talk to my young women patients about men, they are single too, not enough money to mate and have a family, and on the way to…anywhere? They just work.

The digital age is tanking the population and sucking intimacy right out of human relationships. Are we really dating ON AN APP AND NEVER MEETING OR TALKING TO EACH OTHER IN FACE TIME? How can that be considered real?

How do women and men balance intimacy now? There isn’t any that I can see.

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Essay: Transactional vs. Personal in relationships


6/25/26

I just thought of a new one. Fake personal that is really transactional. People who know they need to be more personal and authentic but have no skill in it bc their whole lives have been transactional.

The “Time is Money” materialist value system thinking has taken over American relationships of every kind. Relationships that should be personal become useage transactional and relationships that should be business transactional become usage personal to scam sex, money, or babies. Criminals layer the two. The root cause is a dysfunctional past with parents that you haven’t processed.

How we use money is at issue here. How do you personally use money? I use it to live, to pay bills, and to have enough healthy food to eat. I have no extra and would only need a bit more for a nest egg. I don’t want a pile of money because the government takes too much and throws it down an illegal rat hole. I’m not doing it. I work hard and really well for the little I have.

I never use money over others as personal power in an intimate, friendship, or family relationship. The love of money is the root of all evil, but not money itself which we have to have to live. Just don’t LOVE it.

I think it’s wrong and I don’t do things that I know are wrong unlike banks, and rich people who love money as power. Not all rich people do though. Same with lawsuits. You should resolve differences in personal relationships out of court where there is no money. Those types of relationships should never be turned into JUST A TRANSACTION.

My small business is transactional. Professional services should always be just impersonal transactions. Yet in America, business people fake care about you or talk to you like you are family. They get personal but it’s superficial. You don’t know me and I don’t know you. Don’t pretend like you do.

The confusion in healthcare, and not just for me, is we care about our patients. All of us. White coat and holistic. But we are PAID to care. It is our job. It is possible to make caring a transactional job when it comes easily to a person to give as a service.

The client or patient who misunderstands that are takers who don’t take care of themselves. I’m sorry, but my care for a patient is never a date or personal. Nor do I ever give that vibe on my deeptissuetherapygr.com site or otherwise. I think it’s confusing for people who have never had anyone love them. That is rampant in our society and tragic.

I think bartenders get the therapist carer thing too but they are just transactional also. Humans lack boundaries in our country.

Whenever there is money involved between two people, be clear on whether it’s personal or transactional and don’t use it as though time is money. It absolutely IS NOT money, nor is time a currency. TIME IS LIFE, EVOLUTION AND DNA and that is very…personal.

The Tao says, “Know the personal but keep to the impersonal”. Boundaries and privacy are important.

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Essay: It’s possible to hide behind extroversion


You can build a castle around you whether you’re extrovert or introvert.

I’m an introvert and I love it. It’s a rich life. I just had a patient who needed me for 2 hours and I led with my inuition the whole time and totally helped her. I was analyzing but with my higher self, not my calculating slow brain.

Everybody knows we live in an extremely repressed, fake, Hollywood, look at me ego world where nobody tells the truth about how they really feel. Except lightworkers, artists, psychics, and healers. I was raised in that kind of family. We lead with nature and faith, into my extended family and I’m grateful.

Some people had superficial, abusive, social climbing, or greedy parents. That’s fine. There are lessons there too as in how NOT to be like them if you want an authentic, healthy life. I always had the space to be authentic in my family so I’ve always been authentic with my patients. My office is a sanctuary unless being real scares you. I can actually work with that too a little at a time.

Try being alone more. Ignore what people say and be sure you feel your insides and have some fun.

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Essay: You draw TO YOU what you are

Blue and orange glowing energy strands twisting through a starry galaxy

It’s never about what one person needs but whether both of you can benefit from each  other without feeling restricted. I’ve always felt restricted by a man. They are very territorial and emotionally needy, alpha or beta.

This is especially true for personal relationships. It has been true for me and now I’m regrouping. This also applies to your Harmonic tone and tribe as well as the tribes around you.

If you are a tone 3 and date a tone 3, that person is either karma or dharma depending on the level of negative and positive transaction. That is the case with all of the tones.

The Tiamat karmic tribes, gender inequity issue, are Red Serpent, White Wizard, White Worldbridger, and Red Skywalker. It swirls a little epic around us. Wears me out. Any males from those tribes are going to encounter negative karma with White Wizard Ixchel women. They have a huge chip on their shoulder toward the men.

There is also doubling up with a person who is the same color of tribe. Red are initiators/leaders, White are refiners, Yellow are ripeners/teachers, and blue are transformers.

Be sure and put your attraction through a filter and don’t just base it on lust. That’s never going to work. It’s like diet or food choices. Just because you’re hungry don’t eat an entire bag of cookies for lunch. Eat a balanced meal or pay a big price later. Sugar is just bad except in very small doses. Lust is like that.

Posted on

Essay: Transactional vs. Personal in relationships

Pathway with zodiac symbols leading to glowing portal under planets and stars

6/25/26

I just thought of a new one. Fake personal that is really transactional. People who know they need to be more personal and authentic but have no skill in it bc their whole lives have been transactional.

The “Time is Money” materialist value system thinking has taken over American relationships of every kind. Relationships that should be personal become useage transactional and relationships that should be business transactional become usage personal to scam sex, money, or babies. Criminals layer the two. The root cause is a dysfunctional past with parents that you haven’t processed.

How we use money is at issue here. How do you personally use money? I use it to live, to pay bills, and to have enough healthy food to eat. I have no extra and would only need a bit more for a nest egg. I don’t want a pile of money because the government takes too much and throws it down an illegal rat hole. I’m not doing it. I work hard and really well for the little I have.

I never use money over others as personal power in an intimate, friendship, or family relationship. The love of money is the root of all evil, but not money itself which webhave to have to live. Just don’t LOVE it.

I think it’s wrong and I don’t do things that I know are wrong unlike banks, and rich people who love money as power. Not all rich people do though. Same with lawsuits. You should resolve differences in personal relationships out of court where there is no money. Those types of relationships should never be turned into JUST A TRANSACTION.

My small business is transactional. Professional services should always be just impersonal transactions. Yet in America, business people fake care about you or talk to you like you are family. They get personal but it’s superficial. You don’t know me and I don’t know you. Don’t pretend like you do.

The confusion in healthcare, and not just for me, is we care about our patients. All of us. White coat and holistic. But we are PAID to care. It is our job. It is possible to make caring a transactional job when it comes easily to a person to give as a service. The client or patient who misunderstands that are takers who don’t take care of themselves. I’m sorry, but my care for a patient is never a date or personal. Nor do I ever give that vibe on my deeptissuetherapygr.com site or otherwise. I think it’s confusing for people who have never had anyone love them. That is rampant in our society and tragic.

I think bartenders get the therapist carer thing too but they are just transactional also. Humans lack boundaries in our country.

Whenever there is money involved between two people, be clear on whether it’s personal or transactional and don’t use it as though time is money. It absolutely IS NOT money, nor is time a currency. TIME IS LIFE, EVOLUTION AND DNA and that is very…personal.

The Tao says, “Know the personal but keep to the impersonal”. Boundaries and privacy are important.

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Essay: Men’s babies are their machines. Women’s babies are…human babies, and therein lies the rub


The father loses the focus and attention of the mother after she has a baby. We love no one more than our babies, and that is forever the case. The men resent it, I think. I can’t blame them. Mother love has kind of done women in on earth too so it’s not as though we don’t question our choice to have children. We could use our creative power to lead and achieve and help the planet. People call that feminism. I call it humanism. We keep birthing our babies onto a slave, patriarch planet where women and children are fodder and sex trafficked. Maybe we need to stop.

It’s true that I will never love a mate as much as my son. Motherly love that is. But at least it’s real love and not based in sex or money which is superficial.

OMG… I’m sorry, this is messed up. They can’t make a baby so they make machines. And here we are.

Happy young man hugging his new car in showroom. Satisfied guy with closed eyes embracing the hood of the automobile. Dreaming man lying on car bonnet hugging it.
View at Medium.com
View at Medium.com
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Prose: ELEMENTAL


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Essay: Women and Men both have minds and hearts.


Women have minds. Men have hearts. What’s the problem here? We are all human beings and are co-equal. The public objectification and restriction of expression for both sexes has to end.

I think this may be one function of the transgender movement; to just bust up the B.S. and start over without all of the lies. We’re human beings more than one sex in a 📦. Deep state patriarchy and religion have created severe unconscious repression for women and men. Time to get centered in the truth about yourself instead of projecting it outward into politics and others all the time.

The function of females is not to just look pretty and hot and make babies for men to claim as their own and do with whatever they want. Either men and women learn to love each other as minds and souls or…what’s the point?

The Meditations

Yellow 7 Resonant Sun is a point of enlightenment and ascension of the mind and heart. Our pain from our parents needs to be released. We aren’t them and are not meant to be. BE YOURSELF!

I channel in order to enlighten. Inspiring life, I seal THE MATRIX of universal fire with the resonant tone of attunement. I am guided by the power of FREEWILL. I am a GAP kin. Focus.-kin 20, Yellow 7 Sun

Timespace Sync

7 Pluto, Earth, Mercury, and Neptune are pulsing in time to affect 3D manifestation.

  • Pluto is mediating in time on a resonant 7 pulse. Pluto is the planet of transformation, regeneration, and power and spends anywhere from twelve to thirty-two years in each sign. With Pluto in Aquarius, there will be significant changes in humanity that begin with sudden endings. The level of progress that is possible now is extraordinary since the planet of power is combined in the sign of revolution. Social reform will have personal effects that are empowering.
  • Our Guide Power is mediated by 7 Earth as Yellow 7 Human in time. Good sync for this morning and afternoon. The Moon continues its transit of the inspirational and original leader Aries until it enters earthy Taurus at 1:23 PM EDT while time mediates White 7 Dog. Love and loyalty are in sync with the Moon in ♈️ Aries. Aries is the most loyal sign in the zodiac.
  • Tonight, the Last Quarter Moon occurs as the Sun in Leo forms a square with the Moon in Taurus. Leo is mediated by the Sun, our theme. At dusk, our Hidden Wisdom is Red 7 Dragon mediated by Neptune. Blood memory and the primordial mother issues come forward with the square to the Taurus Moon.
  • The issues with the primordial mother or mother spirit, the coequal feminine, come forward with the Last Quarter Moon phase pointing to a crisis of consciousness. We’re ready to sort out what works for us–and what doesn’t, especially in our relationships. Is it safe to be your authentic self or not?
  • It’s not an ideal time to start a major project, but it is an excellent time to tidy up details and tie up loose ends. We might consider recent revelations, what they mean to us, and what to do about them.
  • The Moon continues its void period today until the Moon enters Taurus at 1:23 PM EDT.

From cafeastrology.com, time Passages, and me.

The high Deep Earth Qfactor pulse syncs with our Earth alignments today and the blood memory from the Dragon tribe. We have got to deal with the objectification and restriction of female power on this planet and not admitting how emotional men are, more than women for sure..
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Esdsy: Women Can Be Loving with Sexual Energy But Only if It’s Reciprocated


zooskToday the rubber meets the road and as I was working out, Spirit got to me. Some say God or Source. I pride myself on listening for spiritual guidance so that I’m always in my power and integrity so that’s what some of this information is. If it’s not true for you, just leave it be.

My intuition was very strongly scoping out my body this morning which it’s been doing lately. I sensed that most of the time women take energy from the man in the form of seed (sperm) or money but I don’t think we love as often as we could. Of course, we have our own money but women that marry a man do so mostly for his sperm so she can have their child (pure love) and his money (to support that pure love). In that, he is viewed as successful but men shouldn’t have to be defined just by that just as women aren’t. It’s rarely really loving.

I say this from talking to many women who rarely express love for their man the way they do their children. Many women withhold their heart love from sex because the man doesn’t stimulate it with human intimacy. I’m not sure women are aware of it but I know I’ve done it because I resent that men don’t love from heart energy. I think that’s why in my 20’s I kept falling in love with gay men. Straight men don’t love the same way women do! It’s not their fault that they’re more simple. They love from first chakra or just sexual energy, their stomach, and from their minds. (Chakras 7, 3, and 1 or mind, power and food and sex) Women are more centered in chakras 6, 5, 4, and 2 or intuition, speaking and communicating, heart love and feelings. Gay men are too.

Tree with intuitive human

The sacral chakra or chakra two is right below the navel. This is the emotions center, conception, and THE center of creation and love on the planet in the woman’s body. Men don’t have the same energy in chakra 2. Being a woman, I know I cover my belly, hold in my procreative energy and sexual energy there for myself because society doesn’t give me any. I don’t release it during sex unless I’m feeling particularly empowered from within and feel that the man I’m with deserves it because he loves me.

On this planet, it takes a phenomenal amount of energy for a woman to love herself by herself. We’re not taught by any institution or any part of society to love ourselves alone. Women that are internally strong are called witches, freaks, or weird. My patient called me weird yesterday when I told her I was very intuitive. Good ole’ Grand Rapids. That would be me and I’m none of those things.

My oldest sister has always called me a freak though but she’s jealous because she’s more normal than she’d like. Hey, if you’re not willing to do the work and willing to pay the price of being exceptional in a mediocre driven society, I’m sorry.  Hardly any women love themselves from within because you’ll be a social outcast. I’m just being the way I was born to be and I refuse to adjust. It’s not like I’m rich from being this way but I sure need to make more than I do.

Well, my male friend from another state is most definitely in touch with me and was not crazy about me being on Zoosk at all. I don’t know why yet. I wasn’t crazy about his harems and extreme flirtations with women either so I set the boundaries. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. The truth is, now that I’m 56 if a man my age still prides himself on the number of women he can f* and needs that, I don’t care. It’s just defecation to him, it’s troll behavior and hurting him more than me not to love a woman or accept it from her. I love at all times.

I’m not sure what he’s up to or why he wants t talk to me. People have said they feel comfortable being themselves around me; not fake. That’s because I tell the truth which seems to be lost in the world of men no matter where you find them or what level of character they are.

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ESSAY: What is Connection?


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