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Essay; No Possession in Relationships


just because someone desires you.

I guess the saying above could apply to women and to men but women are quite a bit more pre-meditated in choosing which men to talk to and then sleep with. Our lust does not control our rationality, much to men’s dismay. Sometimes mine does but I’m working on curbing it now that I realize men fall in love easier than women do, even it’s just our breasts they’re in love with.

This is especially the case for women of reproductive age. So mostly, this applies to women. Just because a man desires you doesn’t mean he values you. For men, this could say, “Just because a woman likes to talk to you doesn’t mean she values you or loves you.” But if SHE SAID she loves she does. We don’t say that lightly.

If people are not possessions then relationships with them cannot be assessed like an insurance adjustor would assess the damage done to a car.

Loss Adjuster Inspecting Car Involved In Accident
I’m following up on my previous post “Bonding Instead of Possession”, and suggesting a compromise between men’s dualistic approach to relationships which is either promiscuity or possession. Analyzing a relationship is not akin to being an insurance claims adjustor. It’s a matter for your HEARTSET to assess the situation which entails your feelings and then use intuition since feelings only lead to intuition which is the higher mind. No one is called to act on, indulge, or hold on to their feelings. Feelings are supposed to lead to the movement of Mind and Heart so we can make informed choices. You can’t leave out Heart or Mind or it will fail. That’s the whole point of knowing your feelings and it’s not minor. The Intuition leads to the higher mind and the rational leads to the lower mind. One is fast, one is slow. I didn’t figure that out, the scientists did, nor do I really like the situation but that seems to be the way the brain is laid out for now until we evolve differently.

Promiscuity or possession is an all or nothing approach, a decisive approach that actually is emotional, even passionate based on physical lust, need, and desire, not love.

Why is it considered normal and acceptable for men to not want a relationship but not women? Many women, including me, like being single, but I like friendship, love, and sex but I don’t want to be in a relationship. I like my absolute freedom and need it. I also like monogamy but only if the man doesn’t go overboard.

Can a man process all of that and accept that I don’t want to possess or control him and he can’t possess or control me?

So far, no.

Now in 2025, I think there are unique circumstances where two people love each other and want to be together. You have to go with the flow. But if STAFF and FAMILY or money are interfering with two people being together that is PURE EVIL. The universe needs to intercede and synchronicity needs to control the situation. There is no stronger magnet on earth than love.💞

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Physical, Human Connection…REALIZE.


human connection

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I Haven’t Written about Intimacy in Awhile


…because a panicdemic isn’t exactly an inspiration to intimacy.

IT’S A DIFFERENT WORLD SINCE I LAST REALLY POSTED ANYTHING!

I’m just going to say it. If you’re well and have faith in your immune system, know that you make antibodies as everyone does and feel like you can walk above the Fear Fray, HAVE SEX!

I’m above the fear fray. I’m incapable of following the crowd on this. Literally. I watch NO T.V. Because I know better. Being holistic, I know the facts about the body and take care of myself.  I don’t rely on doctors and their pills. I use herbs and take Chinese anti-viral herbs that make it impossible for a virus to go into your lungs. YEAH, THEY SHOULD BE ALL OVER THE HOSPITAL but there is no way Big Pharma would let Chinese herbs that work in there, even if they can save lives.

Being who I am, I know how to pretend I’m complying and then do the little actions and use the little wipes, hand washing like it’s a religion, social distancing, blah, blah, blah that everyone thinks is SO powerful and make my office smell like Lysol which is actually not good for us. I actually do it, probably more than the fear people because I coddle the fearful people too much. I feel sorry for them having no faith whatsoever in their bodies.

It’s because they THINK THAT and FEEL that that gives it power. I feel it already without the little anti-microbial everything. Someone do me and people LIKE ME a favor and have a better understanding of how your body really works and some FAITH in your very powerful immune system. We never get that satisfaction. We just get to see darting eyes behind and mask and FEAR oozing out of every part of your body while you walk really fast from the grocery store. Do you know how TOXIC that is?

This whole thing is killing intimacy of any kind and sex and I find it very, very sinister to the social fabric of humanity. We’ll see if they really intend to open up normal movement again. Just start doing it yourself quietly. If everyone does without making a fuss then who is going to stop them?

What is intimate is the virus itself. It’s microscopic folks. It’s smaller than any moisture cells that come out of your mouth during a sneeze. The mask everyone is making like Betsy Ross made the flag aren’t helping with anything. If you sneeze, the microscopic virus goes right through the fibers of the mask. Outside particles in the air go right into and through because they’re microscopic. The only mask that stops it is N95 and I have one. A healthcare worker gave it to me so I could work on her. It’s asphyxiating meaning it works to keep out the virus. Oxygen can barely get in which means nothing in the air is getting in. That’s how you know it works. And you could faint wearing it. So the masks that do work don’t allow you to breathe. There’s a quick death. The whole mask issue is one of psychological false sense of security. If your vibe is full of fear you weaken your immune system.

Anyway…your mind (thoughts and feelings) control your immune system. There are all kinds of nasties, every day of your life in your body that if multiplied, would kill you quickly. Mammals are full of destructive microbes! All the time! We don’t die because our immune systems are 1 million years old of brilliant and are on vigilant guard and go after anything that gets out of line UNLESS, we tell them to stand down and let the killing begin. Meaning, you, the host, feel weak and sad and want to die. That doesn’t usually happen but this would be a good time to split if you felt like it. No one would question you, no hassle. The virus would be blamed, you would not be.

I feel the lack of intimacy and socializing is worse for people than the virus. We are meant to be together. This distrust of our bodies and the immune system is nonsense. That said if you feel weak and full of fear you should stay home because your vibe is toxic. Maybe not just now but all the time. You’ve got some meditating to do and choices to make about your relationship with Life.

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Intimacy; Panicdemic


…because a panicdemic isn’t exactly an inspiration to intimacy.

IT’S A DIFFERENT WORLD SINCE I LAST REALLY POSTED ANYTHING!

I’m just going to say it. If you’re well and have faith in your immune system, know that you make antibodies as everyone does and feel like you can walk above the Fear Fray, HAVE SEX!

I’m above the fear fray. I’m incapable of following the crowd on this. Literally. I watch NO T.V. Because I know better. Being holistic, I know the facts about the body and take care of myself.  I don’t rely on doctors and their pills. I use herbs and take Chinese anti-viral herbs that make it impossible for a virus to go into your lungs. YEAH, THEY SHOULD BE ALL OVER THE HOSPITAL but there is no way Big Pharma would let Chinese herbs that work in there, even if they can save lives.

Being who I am, I know how to pretend I’m complying and then do the little actions and use the little wipes, hand washing like it’s a religion, social distancing, blah, blah, blah that everyone thinks is SO powerful and make my office smell like Lysol which is actually not good for us. I actually do it, probably more than the fear people because I coddle the fearful people too much. I feel sorry for them having no faith whatsoever in their bodies.

It’s because they THINK THAT and FEEL that that gives it power. I feel it already without the little anti-microbial everything. Someone do me and people LIKE ME a favor and have a better understanding of how your body really works and some FAITH in your very powerful immune system. We never get that satisfaction. We just get to see darting eyes behind and mask and FEAR oozing out of every part of your body while you walk really fast from the grocery store. Do you know how TOXIC that is?

This whole thing is killing intimacy of any kind and sex and I find it very, very sinister to the social fabric of humanity. We’ll see if they really intend to open up normal movement again. Just start doing it yourself quietly. If everyone does without making a fuss then who is going to stop them?

What is intimate is the virus itself. It’s microscopic folks. It’s smaller than any moisture cells that come out of your mouth during a sneeze. The mask everyone is making like Betsy Ross made the flag aren’t helping with anything. If you sneeze, the microscopic virus goes right through the fibers of the mask. Outside particles in the air go right into and through because they’re microscopic. The only mask that stops it is N95 and I have one. A healthcare worker gave it to me so I could work on her. It’s asphyxiating meaning it works to keep out the virus. Oxygen can barely get in which means nothing in the air is getting in. That’s how you know it works. And you could faint wearing it. So the masks that do work don’t allow you to breathe. There’s a quick death. The whole mask issue is one of psychological false sense of security. If your vibe is full of fear you weaken your immune system.

Anyway…your mind (thoughts and feelings) control your immune system. There are all kinds of nasties, every day of your life in your body that if multiplied, would kill you quickly. Mammals are full of destructive microbes! All the time! We don’t die because our immune systems are 1 million years old of brilliant and are on vigilant guard and go after anything that gets out of line UNLESS, we tell them to stand down and let the killing begin. Meaning, you, the host, feel weak and sad and want to die. That doesn’t usually happen but this would be a good time to split if you felt like it. No one would question you, no hassle. The virus would be blamed, you would not be.

I feel the lack of intimacy and socializing is worse for people than the virus. We are meant to be together. This distrust of our bodies and the immune system is nonsense. That said if you feel weak and full of fear you should stay home because your vibe is toxic. Maybe not just now but all the time. You’ve got some meditating to do and choices to make about your relationship with Life.

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A Matter of Opinion


aerial photography of water beside forest during golden hour
Photo by Sindre Stru00f8m on Pexels.com

“Some people need to take their own advice instead of endlessly propelling it at others. “The truth” is only “their truth” which is just their opinion. There are facts of science and nature. But when it comes to people, it is all relative. It is a matter of opinion.”-Me, Lisa K. Townsend

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Intimacy; Gray Area Between Relationship and Hookup?


I wrote this in 2020. I am not the same in 2025.-L.T.

I have to admit, if I’m not looking for a committed relationship with a man I don’t pay much attention to personally. I’m looking for an attraction for sex or a lover. Women are no different from men sometimes.

Having touch and sex is a health issue. We all need it! I’m not throwing guilt in there but I do notice that the emotional detachment with a man turns me off no matter how hot he is. I appreciate the beauty of a man though just as much as men do with women. Yet, it’s not even close to being like love.

Things get tricky when a man is your friend and you have things in common and have known each other for a while. If he has a disposable hookup habit with women who are not friends how will he handle sex with a friend? Another notch only meaner? He gets double points for disposing of a female friend? Ultimately, she’s only a woman and nothing stops him from devouring as much as he can for free.

Being women, we do have the ability to make a man fall in love with us by loving him from the heart, talking to him, and being irresistibly sexy even while we’re free spirits and have no intention of having him on a hook. Personally, I have no desire for a man around just as I have no pet in the house. I’m busy with the work I love. But I’m not sure I want the burden of a man in love with me to weigh me down.

I think you have to be ready to lose the friendship on the sex altar. It happens on the attraction and flirting altar too. That just ended one of my friendships. We didn’t even have sex but we may as well have because the energy and affection were there…then it left. It was his doing because he decided to hook up with someone else much easier to handle, blonder, and more tattooed likely with piercings in all the gross places. Lol. She was his level.

There is a gray area in there somewhere. I just haven’t found the sweet spot. Que sera sera.

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Bill Evans and Eddie Gomez on the album “Intuition”


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Intimacy; dogs or gods?


landscape-1500925839-golden-retriever-puppy

Who could resist that adorable puppy coming running toward them for attention? There ya have it. That’s the curse women are under with cute men. I’ve interviewed women and they agree. When a man is really cute he’s very hard to resist!  It’s terrible. We just want to love em’ up and feed them, make up a dog house, let them stay over, oh geez, on and on and it does us in. There goes the peace we need as females and space to take care of ourselves and get our work done. We really need to learn to resist this instinct!

True to form, I learn something every day about women and men, our basic natures, and realize there were many things I was not taught growing up. Can you relate to that moment someone close to you said something off the cuff and it stuck in your head? That was the case for me with my second husband Dave (my son’s father). He was walking up the stairs one day after a normal conversation and he looked at me and said “We’re like dogs. Men are like dogs” Some men are fancy dogs, or rich dogs, or bad dogs, or good dogs, or work dogs. Some are both! Some are crazy dogs or funny dogs, sexy dogs or sweet dogs. You get the idea.

If you read my blog regularly you can guess I looked at him with disbelief and derision. In no way was I going to accept that as an excuse for his behavior. Nor had I ever entertained a career in dog training or dog breeding by letting a man live with me. I’ve never even owned a dog and don’t want to because I’m consistently told that they are like having another child! Children need to be patted on the head and encouraged, praised with kind words, fed, loved, and kept warm and more. I already did that with my son. I don’t need to do that with a man or a dog. It’s a turn off to me to think about treating a man like a dog. But now I’ve been mulling it over.

I can say with assurance that I have always worked toward and considered myself a goddess as opposed to dog food. In no way have I ever fed my body to a lusty man to be consumed because he’s hungry. I think most women do though! They accept it! It does feel good and women most definitely have the instinct to feed men but it will kill your self-esteem and is not emotionally good for women.

On the other hand, men love those superheroes and I know for a fact they have a rich fantasy life about what great warrior heroes and magical powers they might possess. There’s nothing a man loves more than seeing a woman look at him sincerely as her hero. It’s not that a woman wants or needs to be rescued. We really don’t. But sometimes we definitely do need protection in a very rough world. Sure,  IronMan to the scene! I’m good with that and Robert Downey Jr. is a major hottie. A man who is a god can be recognized as truly wanting and respecting an intelligent woman who takes care of her own business. He takes care of his own business so he isn’t bothering her like a little kid and her in the role of his mother. No thanks. He also takes care of his health and teeth so he pleases her physically and of course, she does the same. Most of all, he likes himself and has matured to the point of being able to listen and care about how a woman feels.

So I can honestly say I’ve decided I am looking for a man who knows he really IS a god just as I know I am a goddess. It’s an awareness of the divinity within us; one with us and is the goal of the Spiritual movement. You won’t find it in religion and I’m guessing they find it heretical. Spiritual people are not saying we are God. We’re saying that our identity is an ascending child of God which is a god or goddess. We’re working on ourselves to get better every day. Every single human being has this in them; in our blood which is our QI, or consciousness. I’m not the goddess I want to be or know I can be yet but I’m almost there and it has nothing to do with age. That will be the subject of another blog.

 

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Intimacy; How Do We Move From Lust to Love?


Do you know the difference between lust and love? I’ll go with the hard one first; Love. Love is when you want to take time to really know someone, to care about how they feel, what they need and what makes them tick. You want to be their friend. Friendship is the basis of all lasting, lusty, good relationships. It takes time and maturity to grow.

Lust is everything else. Anything that’s not love is lust. Lust is the emotion behind most human interactions and has the face of greed, trolling on Facebook, offloading on strangers and the like. If you have no foundation of care and face-to-face friendship (not digital only) with someone you are indulging in instant gratification lust and there is nothing loving about it.

This issue has been challenging for me. I’m a very passionate, physical woman and have no problem lusting after men who are very attractive to me. I don’t act on it; it’s just fun. My personality and values are all about love. There isn’t really any other material thing I lust after; unless I’m really hungry. then I lust after food.

That’s a good segue because food hunger is almost exactly like sex hunger in the brain. And notice how many people overeat when they just need some love, affection, and sex. We’re looking for a serotonin spike and some other juicy brain chemicals that make us happy. I know I am. Food doesn’t come close to making me happy the way intimacy and love does. I don’t even like bothering to stop and fix food because I’m busy with my projects, writing, chores, things I love to do! Why do I have to stop and eat? I’ve always been like that. I’m not terribly fond of slowing down.

Now we see a problem here; denial of human need when you know it’s not likely to be easily fulfilled! I’ve been married three times to great men and had several great boyfriends. I’m still not satisfied. They weren’t perfect or didn’t satisfy me the way I really want to be. They didn’t make my brain and body explode with orgasmic happiness, although my last mate Michael came close. He loved me…really, really loved me and I loved him. Love is the sexiest thing going. Then he died suddenly. That’s not helping the situation. Love is definitely tragic.

It makes me wonder about eating disorders. If you take that denial of the need for love, warmth, and affection far enough it would make your brain or specifically, the hypothalamus gland stops craving food. So the emotion of lust would be good at this point versus the emotions around deprivation.

I’m not into deprivation at all but I am sorely afraid of loving a man, pulling him to me, and pushing him away because I need to be alone with my ideas, my mind, my life, my work, and my writing. I don’t want to hurt him. There has to be some intimacy and some time shared with your loved one or they will go away. I hate that.

broken_heart1I think I’ve stayed in lust mode in my brain because I’ve lost too many people I’ve loved. It’s like a car idling. My life isn’t idling but my feelings about bonding in a relationship are definitely idling. Maybe I’m stuck in lust gear because it’s emotionally safer. There is no risk of having your heart ripped out and stomped on the floor by death and life itself if you don’t go into love gear and really start driving.

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Intimacy; Men are Dramatic in Action and Women are Dramatic in their Speech


you've got to be kidding me

How many bazillion times have you heard a guy say “No drama!”? They act like they give women no drama. Men are over the top!!! Men get emotional physically and sometimes verbally. Their actions are too dramatic. That’s the testosterone and they put WOMEN through the wringer not being able to calm down their testosterone or my favorite, being so confused about how to relate what they want to us that they send dual-minded, conflicting signals. A lot of women think they’re lying but half of the time I think they just don’t know what to say…literally.

Women are more dramatic in expressing themselves verbally. Women are actually brilliant at expressing themselves verbally and men are FOREVER telling us to be quiet and stop being so dramatic. I fucking hate it nor will I obey. I find men and women to be equally expressive emotionally but in these two different modes.

Next time a man says to you, “Cut the drama” when you’re speaking and expressing your feelings, bring down the curtain on his ass regarding how his actions are overdramatic expressing HIS feelings. He can “cut the drama” too. Sheesh!

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Men are Dramatic in Action and Women are Dramatic in their Speech


you've got to be kidding me

How many bazillion times have you heard a guy say “No drama!”? They act like they give women no drama. Men are over the top!!! Men get emotional physically and sometimes verbally. Their actions are too dramatic. That’s the testosterone and they put WOMEN through the wringer not being able to calm down their testosterone or my favorite, being so confused about how to relate what they want to us that they send dual-minded, conflicting signals. A lot of women think they’re lying but half of the time I think they just don’t know what to say…literally.

Women are more dramatic in expressing themselves verbally. Women are actually brilliant at expressing themselves verbally and men are FOREVER telling us to be quiet and stop being so dramatic. I fucking hate it nor will I obey. I find men and women to be equally expressive emotionally but in these two different modes.

Next time a man says to you, “Cut the drama” when you’re speaking and expressing your feelings, bring down the curtain on his ass regarding how his actions are overdramatic expressing HIS feelings. He can “cut the drama” too. Sheesh!