Essay; Compromise With a Partner You Value
There is much talk lately about never sacrificing yourself in an intimate relationship with a lover or a partner. I agree that it never works to lie or to give up so much of your time and what you want and need to do with your body and energy that you become very unhappy.
I’m single, dating, totally getting healthy and feeling my goddess core after having been to hell and back with men and babies dying; four altogether. I have a wonderful son who is twenty-seven. He’s a fabulous man and trying to figure it out as we all did.
As I look for a new partner at the age of fifty-six the landscape and reason for mating is completely different and has completely changed. The younger men don’t even hesitate now to let me know of their interest and I actually really like younger men…as lovers and friends. They are far more open-minded and less biased. But as a mate?
It seems to me that mating is now more about friendship, cooperation, and helping one another for the second half of our lives. The libido is there and there has to be an attraction but in no way is sex the same because I can’t get pregnant.
It’s a big deal and huge incentive to stay mobile, hip, and sexy. As you age you really do need more help, more muscle, and a helpmate for different reasons instead of raising children.
However, there is a big difference now between giving something up of my single life habits in middle age and the sacrifice for my family in my youth. You realize this might be your last hurrah with mating love; real love; not love based on societal marriage and children which is based on family norms and proscribed roles.
Love in middle age is completely free. No one has to approve of you because you’re going to have children together. You’re not going to merge immediate families necessarily. You can if you want, I suppose just out of habit, but there is no obligation to.
It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks; at all. There are no expectations on any front because you don’t share DNA with children.
When you value someone’s presence in your life, you let go of a habit or activity and compromise because you want to not because you have to. So there is no more sacrifice. It can be unconditional love.
The fact of the matter is, when you have a spouse and children, you HAVE to do certain things. There is no choice whether you like it or not.
Honestly, becoming a parent does require sacrifice which is very worth it, is extremely hard but it ends and many people are left alone in their house. Some people hate it. I love it!
I really enjoyed having a family but I love my own life too and have been pondering whether I’d want to give up pieces of it for a new mate.
I’d be willing to adjust if I really loved and valued my partner and knew that we were reciprocating. There is no way I’d fall into my old role of jumping when he needed me, jumping when my son needed me, cooking when they’re hungry. Nope.
Once in a while, I might but not if I don’t feel like it. There would also be much more space in our togetherness because you really do treasure your alone time after you’ve had a family. The quiet is really priceless.
Essay: Heartset Relevancy
Are we really only relevant to the extent that other human beings find us relevant? Isn’t that why people have dogs and cats? You’re always relevant to your pet if only because they need you to feed them. If you need to be needed, you need to feel relevant. I guess I need to express myself more than be considered relevant.
Or maybe we do literally need to be perceived as relevant in order to make money. That’s really what underlies our actions. We just need money. We have to have money to survive. Many people know how to fake care about others for accolades, fame, sales, and money. Their ego just needs attention. Mine don’t mostly because I find it boring and tedious.
The issue here is there are many superb people doing fabulous work that are irrelevant to the masses because the masses don’t see or appreciate fabulous work. That is the case for many brilliant artists and it remains that way until they die. I’m not doing fabulous work at the moment so that’s not the case for me. If I was doing fabulous work I wouldn’t look for the masses to appreciate it though.
What about relevant to yourself? We’re always more relevant to ourselves than we are to others because they don’t live in our bodies or with us. That’s kind of the crux of it. That is the case for me. I wish I could be paid to be improving my body which is what I’m pre-occupied with. Instead, I live in a system that wants me to pay it to be sick. If I take care of myself and don’t need their pills, surgery, or visits, I’m irrelevant. So they work very hard to convince me and everyone else that there is something wrong with us and we need them. That’s just vacant and evil.
This was a very weird day. My intuition was in high gear and I just rolled with it as usual. Yes, I do want to eventually be relevant because human empowerment to live in balance not overtop of all life is a good thing. That’s what I care about. I find that relevant.
Essay; There is Pressure on Women to Hold Ourselves in Higher Esteem
“Women, love and honor yourself even if by the societal view you are a freak, brilliant, ugly or super beautiful, fit or not fit. If you’re not average, other women will be jealous and you’ll need to live with that.”
The reason being, in truth, every woman is a goddess. Some women feel and know this and many more don’t and are very dependent as opposed to being interdependent. That’s where the jealousy and the trouble come in for men. Men long for us to know how beautiful we are and some get very co-dependent with low self-esteem women trying to convince them that they need to love themselves. Women are love on the planet but if a woman doesn’t claim that it becomes hell on earth. Men are mere mortals wishing to be superheroes! Men that think they’re gods already are gay or bi-sexual and have incorporated the female principle into themselves to try to bring balance. And how do they act? Like a woman! Fine, but they are still males and can’t make a human being in their body. There’s that. A male truly becomes a god when he joins with a female and they have a child together. That is a powerful creation and males and females get credit for that. If it’s only one child, that may be more responsible in my view. Society should never denigrate procreation. It’s our main biological mandate on the planet and would completely throw us off as a species if we no longer valued children.
“Men feel and view our bodies as heaven, paradise, light, love, sex, food, everything they want and need and they want and need to lose themselves in us.”
That is pressure on women. I am hearing that in every single modern day pop song sung by men. Women who watch it say, “ALL they want is SEX.”. To men, that’s the pinnacle on earth. That’s all there is or needs to be. That’s as happy as they can get. Like Bruno Mars sings, “Your sex takes me to paradise”. They mean it. Just because women are not that way doesn’t mean EVERYONE should be that way. To the extent to which society, Church, State, and women deny them the greatest heaven they can have is the degree to which they are frustrated, pissed, feeling upset and victimized and die early of heart disease. This issue has got to be seen and accepted by society about men and balanced with women taking care of themselves and making money.
They can’t be any different nor should they. Sex is love to them. What’s wrong with that? Nature IS love. The Earth IS love. The natural world IS love. I’m holistic so resisting that is what drives us nuts. It’s the reason our healthcare system, our planet, and our society are falling apart is the DENIAL OF THE BODY which MEN LOVE more than anything. So what is patriarchy but men trying NOT TO BE DENIED THEIR MANHOOD by every single institution in existence? I’m just guessing. Don’t send me hate mail, please. What are we saying to them and about ourselves when we tell them to stop wanting sex so much? You may as well ask them to stop breathing or the sun to stop shining. Well, that IS what we’re doing to the planet right now.
Like Rajesh said to Penny on “Big Bang Theory”, “You can’t ruin a friendship with sex. That’s like ruining a chocolate cupcake with sprinkles!” My god, I love that line. It epitomizes the difference between how men and women think. I think if men had their way, they’d have sex with anyone, anytime just to show their love. It’s analogous to women showing their love by hugging and talking! We do that all the time and think it’s fine. But you say, “You can’t get pregnant hugging someone.” There is the crux of the issue and the problem for men. So use birth control and have as much sex as you want. The other crux; women’s feelings.
This is unfathomable for people to believe, but it is only recently in human history that people realized that it takes the male sperm to cause conception and make a human being. Up until that time, early humans thought it was magic, we had matriarchy where men were just having sex with anyone they wanted with any woman and going from place to place spreading their sperm around. No one knew who the fathers were, the children didn’t know their fathers and there was no marriage. That was matriarchy and women dominated and raised the children in groups of women and children. The men were off separate with one another.
I’m not saying I personally like the polyamorous nature of most men. I’m a female with high self-esteem so I believe I have plenty, just me alone, for a man who truly adores me. I just don’t expect it from most men. A man who prefers bitches and whores with no emotional bonding or love is one himself! When a man I’m with lets me know those are his values then I think, “Ok, then you aren’t going to get me. You’re only going to get a weak woman with no self-esteem and don’t whine about it. You get what you are!” Men with high self-esteem are attracted to women with high self-esteem and he’s done being polyamorous. That’s another level of nature. Men at the lower level, don’t even try to tell me that monogamous men who adore women who are fully in tune with their bodies and feelings don’t exist. They do! I can provide a man with great, varied sex, great conversation, loyal love and more. Can you take being loved?
Patriarchy changed all of that and territory, The state, The Church, and the institution of the family were born. Now we call it civilization. Have we decided if this is good or bad yet? We know now that when a man and woman live together and fight, which they always do, it is very psychologically damaging to the child. So how great is it really for the father to live with the mother and the child or children in just the family unit? Statistics show men tend to be violent toward the women and children too (domestic violence). So, I don’t know if patriarchy is working. Add to that the men’s testosterone loves war, blowing stuff up, rape, and what have you and I’m not sure women’s paradise has civilized them nor should it. Besides, we deny it to them most of the time and just think they should work and make money. That’s not fair to men.
We need a new way where the nature of men and the nature of woman is balanced. We just don’t know what that is yet while keeping the planet in one piece.
Essay; The “No Relationship Agreement”, Like a Pre-Nup only it’s a Pre-Sex
This is the antonym of “The Relationship Agreement” first suggested on the show “The Big Bang Theory” by Sheldon Cooper. At this point, it’s just an idea but it would make me feel better if men knew my boundaries before I date them. I’m interested in sex and Love but not being a man’s territory for his status ambitions.
They also can’t power trip and insult me like I’m an emotional, needy girl that falls in love when I have sex with a man. I don’t. That’s younger girls, not older women. Nor do I care what previous women have expected of him.l, loke his patriarchally derived money for instance. I control myself. I have zero time or interest in being a dog-trainer because I’m not a bitch.
It can be widely observed that women are treated like “capital”, territory, objects to be owned or sold like a slave as in sex-trafficking, married for status under the guise of love that usually only lasts for ten years, and possessed by a man like a house or a car. Or, used for sex and thrown to the curb with no feelings whatsoever. That is factual in our society.
I strongly feel this agreement is appropriate for women and men over 50 since it is not ideal that either of them reproduces. The main purpose of marriage is protective reproduction. After 50, there is no point of marriage and most professionals agree.
Most females that don’t pander to patriarchy function socially and biologically under the values of Love and Freedom, that have a spiritual foundation, not ownership because we make humans in our bodies which is sacred. Our sex energy is stronger and more important than the male because everything in our body automatically makes a human being. We hold the species in our hearts. We don’t need to dink around with A.I. or technology or cross-dressing to fantasize about being a woman; we live it. It’s true that the egg and the sperm are equal in needing to conceive but the fact that the woman alone does the rest means that the sexual energy we share with a man is a BIG PROFIT to him. It gives him some of eternity whether he realizes it or not.
They take our sex energy and more and don’t give much back because maybe they don’t have as much to give as women do. They try to use money to substitute.
Males and thus patriarchy are cashing in on women who don’t realize what big sexual energy we have that rivals males and men don’t understand why we give it away. Like Bruno Mars sings, “Your sex takes me to Paradise.” If he’s not having sex, he feels like he’s been locked out of heaven! That song says it all as do many other songs with men expressing their deep feelings about how dependent they are on our bodies for happiness. Swimming in our bodies is apparently something spiritual. Women just shake their heads because to us it’s just normal and men get dramatic about it!
Most women love giving their sex energy but not to the point of bankruptcy. It’s getting to the bankrupt point on this planet and it’s up to women to stop the hemorrhage.
If you think about a woman’s body like a bank account, women are letting men rob the bank.
Prostitution starts to make men pay for a loan but only scratches the surface. Men need to start to pay their own way on the Earth in the form of Love so this agreement is my idea to start in that direction. I don’t know if it’s possible. Maybe it’s like trying to get blood from a turnip.
Please note that I’m not suggesting a “No Love”, “No intimacy” agreement. In fact, women are the opposite. The “No-relationship” agreement is a first step to legally and socially protect a woman from becoming the territory of a man and her energy being owned only by herself, thus guarding her sexual energy for future generations of humans and possibly saving the species.
Women are being abused, used, trafficked, raped and denigrated everywhere on the planet and it’s gotta stop. Male, patriarchal institutions are trying to kill the species. That’s the opposite of everything women are about.
The No-Relationship Agreement
This must be initialed by both parties (herein called the fucker and the fuckee whose roles can swap) before having sex. Sex is never an obligatory act once enacted. We are still both totally free. Human beings don’t possess one another; we bond through love. ___________
- You agree not to ask me to be your girl/boyfriend._________
- You agree not to ask me to marry you._________
- You agree that if we discuss it at length, after some time, and agree, we can be monogamous lovers but still not be in a formal relationship that suggests territory. Once initialed, we agree that neither of us will bring another sexual partner into our home if we live together and agree to be monogamous lovers. ________
- If one changes their mind and doesn’t want to be monogamous lovers there is no obligation or punishment forthwith. We are both free agents and will go our own way.__________
- Under no circumstances does one ever tell the other one what to do. We can ask but never command.____________
- We both have and control our own money.__________
- Either of us can ask for a 3-way but never expect it.__________
- We both agree that digital sex is only occasional or just goofing around. Neither one of us engages in it with anyone as a predominant mode of sex. We agree that sex without a body is unhealthy and dumb.__________
- If we want to go out together just ask the other one. There is no obligation and we can ask someone else to go with us, female or male._________
- Public designation without #3 is “friends”.____________
- Public designation with #3 is “partner”._____________
- If one falls in love with the other because they’ve lost their mind, the other one has permission to bolt. We agree not to call the police or missing person.__________
It’s an idea. When a man I date actually initials it I’ll let you know. It would mean his intent is to love and give something back and not use my sexual energy.
Protected: Prose; The River
Protected: Essay; The Way to a Woman’s ….. is Through Her Heart
Protected: Essay; …and that’s why there is no attachment
Protected: …and that’s why there is no attachment-Gender Ed
Protected: Essay: There are Twelve Senses, Not Five
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Protected: Essay; Male Sexual Fantasy…that’s how you bond?
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Essay; Women Attach Through Sex and Men Attach Through Emotional Bond
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Essay; Why Do People Hate Smart Women?
This is Marilyn vos Savant. She has the highest IQ of any woman in the world…that has been measured.
This is a great article!
Why Do People Hate Smart Women?
The simple answer is because most of them aren’t so it’s jealousy which comes from women and men who resent or feel threatened by a very articulate person if they are not. It seems to me that no matter how good of a job I do or how nice I am, and I am, I’m railed on at some point by those who don’t understand me. Humans are really something. Especially the name-calling and commanding tone when they have no right, whatsoever, to start it up. Primates.
This issue is really floating on the collective society’s surface right now and showed it’s face to me two days ago. I’ve been aware of and dealing with this issue my entire life and have a pretty good coping mechanism in place so that I never feel victimized or lonely.
However, this week, the face of this thing is morphing. I’m seeing it turning around and bouncing off of the white culture (female and male) and the brown cultures (Mexican and East Indian) and the black cultures. I have friends from all of these cultures so that’s why I’m seeing and hearing it.
The Mother
Men who have been traumatized by a very frustrated mother who turned bitchy or abusive in the home have suffered the most. But I have to say, your mother made you. You wouldn’t be here or have a body no matter what her behavior was once you came out if she hadn’t done her thing. That is enough for gratitude and respect. Does every mother have karma for how she treats her children? Inescapably yes. But men should not let that ruin their minds or their relationships with women. It has though.
However, white men and women don’t see it that way. They hold a grudge, believing that they are in a privileged position in society and should always be treated well, especially by their parents. Personally, my parents were very WASP’y so I was treated well. They never lifted a finger to me and very rarely screamed at me.
The hatred of women is coming from the misogynistic white male culture. They especially hate white women. Again, being white, I feel it harks back to the very dysfunctional way that relationships are formed in the white culture; based on ownership, things, money, and property.
That’s all I have on this one. The article really says it all and it ripped me to shreds accepting this issue. Please read it. I’ll have to get back to you on this. It’s pretty much an open wound.
Time Innovation: Synchronicity- Curtains
I’m editing my blog posts (8/31/19) and just noticed this synchronicity. I posted this blog on the curtains on 12/2/18. Look at my post below from 11/18/18 where I blogged about my dream when Spirit put literal pictures in front of me of my Twin Flames Family at Thanksgiving. Then at my Thanksgiving time at my Mom’s, I see the same curtains as his. ! Synchronicity of family Thanksgiving and curtains.
I was just visiting my Mom last week for Thanksgiving and was excited to see her new house. She has an extra room where I slept for three days.
I walked in…and the curtains on the windows were exactly the same print as the curtains on the front windows of my Occult Partner Kin’s house in California. As you may recall I visited there in July, 2018, meeting him for the first time. We just hung out. I even remember photographically etching the pattern in my mind as though something was unconsciously telling me to remember the pattern. I specifically “noted” his curtains.
I was aghast and told my Mom as she helped me bring my things in, that her curtains were the same as Raul’s in California. She said, “That’s impossible. I just picked those up at a garage sale at the old place where I used to live.”
“Mom, it’s the same pattern. Same curtains. Oh my gosh.” What is the meaning of that?
When you’ve met your occult partner kin, all kinds of crazy synchronicities happen to stimulate the release of your self-identification with the subconscious mind. As I’ve said on here before, the subconscious is our GPS system given to us by our birth family, imprinted irrevocably on our minds by our mother between in utero to about age six.
Ok, so, this is my Mother’s room! She picked out the curtains. I guess the question is, who picked out the curtains on the front windows of his house in California?
The message I got from my spiritual guidance team yesterday was, “The two of you have work to do and need to get cracking! Move your vibe to warmth, faith, and love and release fear, the past, and negativity!” I’m stubborn. Your male and female selves become ONE and there is no more subconscious conflict. You both are individuated adults, no longer sitting in emotional choices programmed by your mother. It’s not for everyone but if you have been called to the journey there are major revelations about who you are and who you are not.
When I finally realize that my mother’s projections onto me do not define who I am, it’s “curtains” for my subconscious mind and hopefully for Raul as well.
It was a major synchronicity. There are no coincidences or accidents.
Essay; It’s Nice to Have Someone to Come Home To
I wrote this in 2018. It is now August 2026 and I’ve been single since 2016 so I’ve gotten used to just me, the house, the plants, and my work.
We hear people say this all the time, I suppose especially during the holidays. However, I was just out of town at my Mom’s for five days and I was thrilled to come home to the sanctuary I’ve created. I live alone, happily, and my business is here. I’m a quiet meditative person that loves to write and read. It fills me up constantly.
I am the “someone” that I came home to. I have a full life, enjoy my own company and I’m busy as much as I want to be. I did come home to someone; myself. Some people don’t need a mate to be content.
My Book: The Role of Intuition in the Scientific Method
This booklet is for sale on Amazon. Be sure to search on Lisa K. Townsend
I found this paper by Dr. Smith synchronistically, being a bit obsessed with the conviction that the scientific method was missing its other half; intuition. The physics nomenclature was not completely foreign to me given that I am an office chair (armchair) student of physics and other sciences myself. So, I did have fun with the bulk of the contents and view it as a hike up a science hill for a student. Bring your water bottle. Your gray cells will get a workout and I recommend it. It is for that reason I put key terms in bold and key ideas in italics.
Upon reading Dr. Smith’s biography in this booklet, you’ll see that he was a heavyweight in his era, 1934-1979 would be his approximate working time, but not as notable as his colleagues Van Allen and Allison. James Van Allen discovered the radiation belts around the earth.
I am grateful for having found this little piece of gold, for as much as I enjoy and respect the scientific method, I cannot relate to it nearly as much as I do intuition, dreaming, and the vast ocean of information in the unconscious mind which I have been aware of and lived in my entire life. It’s like breathing for me. My personal proclivity will be toward Axiology and the Behavioral Sciences as I move forward with my career.
All I ask from readers of this booklet and others is to keep an open mind and acknowledge that everyone has different experiences with information. We all deserve to be heard out; people who are very controlled in their thinking and people who are very intuitional in their thinking. The fact is, no one is right one-hundred percent of the time and you’d be committing hubris if you asserted it. Dr. Smith, with all of his education and experience, comes to the conclusion that intuition is far more important in the scientific method than previously noted. For that, I am very grateful.
Please note Table 1 on page twenty-six. I view the unity of these approaches as a holistic scientific method and wish for nothing less as we move forward forming our models of the universe.
Lisa K. Townsend, B.A., LMT
Essay; The Psychological Need to Infantalize Women in Relationships
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Protected: Essay: Re-Program; Serial Dysfunction; The Need to Fix or Control Events Around You
Protected: Essay; Shaming Intimate Human Feeling as a Tool of Patriarchy; Separation and Control
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Synchronicity is the Source of Consciousness 