Essay; Interpreting Warmth from a Woman


Warm behavior doesn’t mean anything! Being warm, smiling, happy, and beautiful is normal for almost all women, but don’t expect it or ask us to smile or you’ll get our wrath; especially lately. It’s no different than men casually hitting on a woman in a predatory manner, staring at her breasts or crotch, or offering to have an affair with her because he’s bored with his current woman. Those sexual behaviors all mean nothing to a man too. He’s just being normal. 🤪

But they do to us! Just like our warmth and smile means something to you. We are warm and smile at everyone!

We are beautiful, loving creatures that like to wiggle our stuff, put on makeup sometimes, and be feminine. We do it for us because it’s natural, not for you. She is saying nothing at all about how she feels about you.

I said this to a guy in Chicago that I was seeing in my twenties and he refused to believe me. That is patriarchy manipulating men’s brains and egos and thus, some women are able to manipulate men to believe that we set up our bodies and looks for you. We actually do it to compete with other women to show we can get the man we like.

Here is something to ponder then. When a man doesn’t predominantly hit on you but instead is a gentleman, respectful, warm, spends time with you and wants to talk to you, that must mean something more. I’m guessing. This male behavior is akin to a woman showing you her real feelings, thoughts, and inner self; not just all the girly warm stuff. She trusts that you’re interested in her as a person, not just boobs and pussy. Or, she doesn’t mind you seeing her without make-up or naked. Now it’s getting intimate. Do you see how it flipped? The man tuned into the feminine inner nature and the woman her outer sexual physical truth which is male.

Men have a hard time interpreting how a woman feels, especially if he is or has been attracted to her in any way. At worst, he’s given up and ignores the issue. The fact that he can’t control or accurately interpret her behavior, in general, is obviously emasculating. After all, the greatest male urge is to have access to a woman’s body, especially if she is novel to him. At the very least, if he continues to be attracted to her in some way, he’s got to do something about that attraction which means he wants to take action.

If he keeps coming toward you, keeps coming over, keeps talking to you, keeps flirting with you, he’s into you and there’s nothing a man can say to hide that fact, although they do deny it because they haven’t figured out how to control you yet. Some women are very in control of their own lives and don’t let on how much they are attracted to you either.

Women cannot be controlled…none of us…ever and that will be the everlasting consternation of men. We control the mating signals. Because we’re the ones that have the most to gain or lose in the reproduction game. It’s fair that we control that because of nature.

Post-reproduction that changes. In middle age, some men panic because their testosterone has decreased and they have performance anxiety. If he drinks or smokes weed too much, his testosterone is even lower.

Middle-aged women know that, by the way, and are mindful. However, our libido goes up as we get older because we can’t get pregnant. We have no fear! So, guys, you may want to take care of yourselves to take advantage of all the great sex after 50 that a woman is wanting!

Middle-aged women who take care of themselves have it all over the younger women in some ways because we have sexual skill, experience and can’t get pregnant.

More than a couple men have told me they long for a woman to want them. Women don’t long for a man to want them. There is jo shortage of men who bother us. It’s obvious men want us and sometimes aren’t terribly picky. Most women long to be left alone by the men pursuing her that she is not interested in and will not be interested in. That’s the fact right there. If she does decide who she wants attention from, she will be coy, not assertive in attracting him. If he doesn’t respond, trust me, she’ll move on. There are other fish in the sea and we need physical attention. Women want and need sex just as much as men do, but for different reasons.

No matter what a woman writes or says that indicates warmth and affection for you, in no way does it mean she wants to circle her wagons around you, marry you, be territorial about you, or control you. It doesn’t mean she wants you. It just means she likes you and is observing you. It means you have a foot in the door to her attention. And trust me; if you ignore that fact, as though she amounts to diddly-squat, or is less than you, she won’t trust you and you may never hear from her again. You won’t exist.

And if you didn’t bother to really get to know her and cast her aside, or lie, and refuse to court her, your ego rules the day, not your heart. That makes a man a loser to us, or gay. You must think you’re the queen, not her.

If you diss her because her breasts weren’t the right size or she has a belly, you are a fool. That’s how men end up with the wrong woman. They aren’t patient enough to give the connection a chance because of superficial summation of her looks.

Women take a while to warm up and make up their minds about a man. We are complicated creatures and most of us have a very small pool of men that are acceptable to us, that gets our motor running, that we want to share feelings with and feel secure within a dangerous world. So it is a vital mistake to interpret our behavior toward you too soon. Be smart and be patient.

One more Thing About Anxiety…


I didn’t say this because it’s totally taboo and freaks people out, especially religious. And I’ve never said this on here.

WE are God or Source, EMBODIED. YOU are God. God is love, NOT control. This is a free will universe of choices. Every great teacher and Master has said it and been ignored. Jesus even said, “The Spirit of God is within you. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.”Well, your BLOOD AND GUTS are in you too. Whatever is IN YOU is what you are unless it’s meant to come out, like defecation or birthing a baby.

Birthing a baby is a great example of Source and us. Ask any mother and they will tell you that not in a bazillion years can they ever feel separate from their child, even though our sick patriarchal society does it damdest to separate parents from children by blowing them up in war, indoctrination in schools, sexual perversity, etc. Parents always love their children, and God birthed us and all creation into being.

Humans are full of longing to love and be loved, but it starts in you for yourself with Source. But this planet isn’t normal! We can barely have normal human lives here, struggling for fresh water, food and air, BASIC things we need! But we have free will and need to get rid of these leaders ourselves. It’s not going to be done for us. We did a good job busting their chops over Covid. Now we need to bust government and money chops.

Don’t blame yourself for how hard this planet is. Humans are fabulous and loved by stellar species. It’s the elite. They are way off and need to leave the planet so we can go our own way.

So do realize that Source’s only way to experience embodiment is THROUGH US. It is a type of longing, the way a parent or lover longs for their child or love. We long for Source and SOURCE LONGS FOR US! We are adored. We are not worms, ants, or insects, although they are cared for too. We are children of Source. We are Source and Source is US.

It’s a big secret.💞💕🩷❤️

I Haven’t Written about Intimacy in Awhile


…because a panicdemic isn’t exactly an inspiration to intimacy.

IT’S A DIFFERENT WORLD SINCE I LAST REALLY POSTED ANYTHING!

I’m just going to say it. If you’re well and have faith in your immune system, know that you make antibodies as everyone does and feel like you can walk above the Fear Fray, HAVE SEX!

I’m above the fear fray. I’m incapable of following the crowd on this. Literally. I watch NO T.V. Because I know better. Being holistic, I know the facts about the body and take care of myself.  I don’t rely on doctors and their pills. I use herbs and take Chinese anti-viral herbs that make it impossible for a virus to go into your lungs. YEAH, THEY SHOULD BE ALL OVER THE HOSPITAL but there is no way Big Pharma would let Chinese herbs that work in there, even if they can save lives.

Being who I am, I know how to pretend I’m complying and then do the little actions and use the little wipes, hand washing like it’s a religion, social distancing, blah, blah, blah that everyone thinks is SO powerful and make my office smell like Lysol which is actually not good for us. I actually do it, probably more than the fear people because I coddle the fearful people too much. I feel sorry for them having no faith whatsoever in their bodies.

It’s because they THINK THAT and FEEL that that gives it power. I feel it already without the little anti-microbial everything. Someone do me and people LIKE ME a favor and have a better understanding of how your body really works and some FAITH in your very powerful immune system. We never get that satisfaction. We just get to see darting eyes behind and mask and FEAR oozing out of every part of your body while you walk really fast from the grocery store. Do you know how TOXIC that is?

This whole thing is killing intimacy of any kind and sex and I find it very, very sinister to the social fabric of humanity. We’ll see if they really intend to open up normal movement again. Just start doing it yourself quietly. If everyone does without making a fuss then who is going to stop them?

What is intimate is the virus itself. It’s microscopic folks. It’s smaller than any moisture cells that come out of your mouth during a sneeze. The mask everyone is making like Betsy Ross made the flag aren’t helping with anything. If you sneeze, the microscopic virus goes right through the fibers of the mask. Outside particles in the air go right into and through because they’re microscopic. The only mask that stops it is N95 and I have one. A healthcare worker gave it to me so I could work on her. It’s asphyxiating meaning it works to keep out the virus. Oxygen can barely get in which means nothing in the air is getting in. That’s how you know it works. And you could faint wearing it. So the masks that do work don’t allow you to breathe. There’s a quick death. The whole mask issue is one of psychological false sense of security. If your vibe is full of fear you weaken your immune system.

Anyway…your mind (thoughts and feelings) control your immune system. There are all kinds of nasties, every day of your life in your body that if multiplied, would kill you quickly. Mammals are full of destructive microbes! All the time! We don’t die because our immune systems are 1 million years old of brilliant and are on vigilant guard and go after anything that gets out of line UNLESS, we tell them to stand down and let the killing begin. Meaning, you, the host, feel weak and sad and want to die. That doesn’t usually happen but this would be a good time to split if you felt like it. No one would question you, no hassle. The virus would be blamed, you would not be.

I feel the lack of intimacy and socializing is worse for people than the virus. We are meant to be together. This distrust of our bodies and the immune system is nonsense. That said if you feel weak and full of fear you should stay home because your vibe is toxic. Maybe not just now but all the time. You’ve got some meditating to do and choices to make about your relationship with Life.

Intimacy; Panicdemic


…because a panicdemic isn’t exactly an inspiration to intimacy.

IT’S A DIFFERENT WORLD SINCE I LAST REALLY POSTED ANYTHING!

I’m just going to say it. If you’re well and have faith in your immune system, know that you make antibodies as everyone does and feel like you can walk above the Fear Fray, HAVE SEX!

I’m above the fear fray. I’m incapable of following the crowd on this. Literally. I watch NO T.V. Because I know better. Being holistic, I know the facts about the body and take care of myself.  I don’t rely on doctors and their pills. I use herbs and take Chinese anti-viral herbs that make it impossible for a virus to go into your lungs. YEAH, THEY SHOULD BE ALL OVER THE HOSPITAL but there is no way Big Pharma would let Chinese herbs that work in there, even if they can save lives.

Being who I am, I know how to pretend I’m complying and then do the little actions and use the little wipes, hand washing like it’s a religion, social distancing, blah, blah, blah that everyone thinks is SO powerful and make my office smell like Lysol which is actually not good for us. I actually do it, probably more than the fear people because I coddle the fearful people too much. I feel sorry for them having no faith whatsoever in their bodies.

It’s because they THINK THAT and FEEL that that gives it power. I feel it already without the little anti-microbial everything. Someone do me and people LIKE ME a favor and have a better understanding of how your body really works and some FAITH in your very powerful immune system. We never get that satisfaction. We just get to see darting eyes behind and mask and FEAR oozing out of every part of your body while you walk really fast from the grocery store. Do you know how TOXIC that is?

This whole thing is killing intimacy of any kind and sex and I find it very, very sinister to the social fabric of humanity. We’ll see if they really intend to open up normal movement again. Just start doing it yourself quietly. If everyone does without making a fuss then who is going to stop them?

What is intimate is the virus itself. It’s microscopic folks. It’s smaller than any moisture cells that come out of your mouth during a sneeze. The mask everyone is making like Betsy Ross made the flag aren’t helping with anything. If you sneeze, the microscopic virus goes right through the fibers of the mask. Outside particles in the air go right into and through because they’re microscopic. The only mask that stops it is N95 and I have one. A healthcare worker gave it to me so I could work on her. It’s asphyxiating meaning it works to keep out the virus. Oxygen can barely get in which means nothing in the air is getting in. That’s how you know it works. And you could faint wearing it. So the masks that do work don’t allow you to breathe. There’s a quick death. The whole mask issue is one of psychological false sense of security. If your vibe is full of fear you weaken your immune system.

Anyway…your mind (thoughts and feelings) control your immune system. There are all kinds of nasties, every day of your life in your body that if multiplied, would kill you quickly. Mammals are full of destructive microbes! All the time! We don’t die because our immune systems are 1 million years old of brilliant and are on vigilant guard and go after anything that gets out of line UNLESS, we tell them to stand down and let the killing begin. Meaning, you, the host, feel weak and sad and want to die. That doesn’t usually happen but this would be a good time to split if you felt like it. No one would question you, no hassle. The virus would be blamed, you would not be.

I feel the lack of intimacy and socializing is worse for people than the virus. We are meant to be together. This distrust of our bodies and the immune system is nonsense. That said if you feel weak and full of fear you should stay home because your vibe is toxic. Maybe not just now but all the time. You’ve got some meditating to do and choices to make about your relationship with Life.

Intimacy; Gray Area Between Relationship and Hookup?


I wrote this in 2020. I am not the same in 2025.-L.T.

I have to admit, if I’m not looking for a committed relationship with a man I don’t pay much attention to personally. I’m looking for an attraction for sex or a lover. Women are no different from men sometimes.

Having touch and sex is a health issue. We all need it! I’m not throwing guilt in there but I do notice that the emotional detachment with a man turns me off no matter how hot he is. I appreciate the beauty of a man though just as much as men do with women. Yet, it’s not even close to being like love.

Things get tricky when a man is your friend and you have things in common and have known each other for a while. If he has a disposable hookup habit with women who are not friends how will he handle sex with a friend? Another notch only meaner? He gets double points for disposing of a female friend? Ultimately, she’s only a woman and nothing stops him from devouring as much as he can for free.

Being women, we do have the ability to make a man fall in love with us by loving him from the heart, talking to him, and being irresistibly sexy even while we’re free spirits and have no intention of having him on a hook. Personally, I have no desire for a man around just as I have no pet in the house. I’m busy with the work I love. But I’m not sure I want the burden of a man in love with me to weigh me down.

I think you have to be ready to lose the friendship on the sex altar. It happens on the attraction and flirting altar too. That just ended one of my friendships. We didn’t even have sex but we may as well have because the energy and affection were there…then it left. It was his doing because he decided to hook up with someone else much easier to handle, blonder, and more tattooed likely with piercings in all the gross places. Lol. She was his level.

There is a gray area in there somewhere. I just haven’t found the sweet spot. Que sera sera.

Intimacy; How Do We Move From Lust to Love?


Do you know the difference between lust and love? I’ll go with the hard one first; Love. Love is when you want to take time to really know someone, to care about how they feel, what they need and what makes them tick. You want to be their friend. Friendship is the basis of all lasting, lusty, good relationships. It takes time and maturity to grow.

Lust is everything else. Anything that’s not love is lust. Lust is the emotion behind most human interactions and has the face of greed, trolling on Facebook, offloading on strangers and the like. If you have no foundation of care and face-to-face friendship (not digital only) with someone you are indulging in instant gratification lust and there is nothing loving about it.

This issue has been challenging for me. I’m a very passionate, physical woman and have no problem lusting after men who are very attractive to me. I don’t act on it; it’s just fun. My personality and values are all about love. There isn’t really any other material thing I lust after; unless I’m really hungry. then I lust after food.

That’s a good segue because food hunger is almost exactly like sex hunger in the brain. And notice how many people overeat when they just need some love, affection, and sex. We’re looking for a serotonin spike and some other juicy brain chemicals that make us happy. I know I am. Food doesn’t come close to making me happy the way intimacy and love does. I don’t even like bothering to stop and fix food because I’m busy with my projects, writing, chores, things I love to do! Why do I have to stop and eat? I’ve always been like that. I’m not terribly fond of slowing down.

Now we see a problem here; denial of human need when you know it’s not likely to be easily fulfilled! I’ve been married three times to great men and had several great boyfriends. I’m still not satisfied. They weren’t perfect or didn’t satisfy me the way I really want to be. They didn’t make my brain and body explode with orgasmic happiness, although my last mate Michael came close. He loved me…really, really loved me and I loved him. Love is the sexiest thing going. Then he died suddenly. That’s not helping the situation. Love is definitely tragic.

It makes me wonder about eating disorders. If you take that denial of the need for love, warmth, and affection far enough it would make your brain or specifically, the hypothalamus gland stops craving food. So the emotion of lust would be good at this point versus the emotions around deprivation.

I’m not into deprivation at all but I am sorely afraid of loving a man, pulling him to me, and pushing him away because I need to be alone with my ideas, my mind, my life, my work, and my writing. I don’t want to hurt him. There has to be some intimacy and some time shared with your loved one or they will go away. I hate that.

broken_heart1I think I’ve stayed in lust mode in my brain because I’ve lost too many people I’ve loved. It’s like a car idling. My life isn’t idling but my feelings about bonding in a relationship are definitely idling. Maybe I’m stuck in lust gear because it’s emotionally safer. There is no risk of having your heart ripped out and stomped on the floor by death and life itself if you don’t go into love gear and really start driving.

Intimacy; Men are Dramatic in Action and Women are Dramatic in their Speech


you've got to be kidding me

How many bazillion times have you heard a guy say “No drama!”? They act like they give women no drama. Men are over the top!!! Men get emotional physically and sometimes verbally. Their actions are too dramatic. That’s the testosterone and they put WOMEN through the wringer not being able to calm down their testosterone or my favorite, being so confused about how to relate what they want to us that they send dual-minded, conflicting signals. A lot of women think they’re lying but half of the time I think they just don’t know what to say…literally.

Women are more dramatic in expressing themselves verbally. Women are actually brilliant at expressing themselves verbally and men are FOREVER telling us to be quiet and stop being so dramatic. I fucking hate it nor will I obey. I find men and women to be equally expressive emotionally but in these two different modes.

Next time a man says to you, “Cut the drama” when you’re speaking and expressing your feelings, bring down the curtain on his ass regarding how his actions are overdramatic expressing HIS feelings. He can “cut the drama” too. Sheesh!

Intimacy; Fantasy


steven-holl-shadow-art

If you can feel your body and your heart, the physical reality is far better than the mental fantasy.