Protected: Essay; Do We Really Need to Depend on a Partner Intimately?
Protected: Essay: Can We Love One Another Without Traditional Bonding?
Protected: Essay; Men and Sex. Not the Same as Women! Polyamory vs. Celibacy
Essay; Making Love Vs. Just…Doing It.

I am very intuitive with my body and I believe most women are as well. Now that I’m dating again, I’m seeing that I set the tone for how things are going to proceed physically. That’s because it’s incredibly taboo for a man to force the situation. You really need our permission and to know we’re relaxed in order for you to be successful. We know that. It’s actually a little bit of pressure on the woman because as they say; “Women give sex to get a relationship and men give a relationship in order to get sex”. But what’s happening now is women are willing to give men their body without a relationship and many women don’t even want a relationship anymore because the men aren’t really capable of one. That, and online porn is free. Women never get their relationship no matter what they do. Everything is just at low-level sex and means nothing. The women are done trying to go to the mat and fight for it when the truth is, we’re doing an awful lot and dog training too! I never would which is why my marriages ended. It was too much work and I’ve never had a dog. I’m a cat person.
We have to assess you and figure out how much relationship time you can stomach before we give in to sex. Man is that tricky because every guy has a different threshold of relationship skill and patience. We’re thinking that way while you’re thinking, “How can I get her to have sex with me now?” because that’s how men “do relationship”. We know you’re thinking that. I don’t judge it. I feel it’s the way men’s brains are programmed, just like women are programmed to bond and we need to accept it about you. Neither of us is better than the other one but we’re each going to try to get our way to gauge the situation.
That’s a little bit of a generalization but most women care about bonding, feelings, and a relationship in equal ratio with men caring about sex. The women who don’t remind me of Samantha Jones on “Sex and The City”. She’s pretty much masculinized in a feminine outfit on that show. That’s what happens when women adopt values that are patriarchal in nature and highly attributable to men. They want no bonding and nothing to do with a relationship. If a guy even asks to see her again or wants to stay over she gets upset. Yes, men want some relationship and she doesn’t even want that! I’m wondering if women are actually moving more toward that now?
As a woman, I feel like it’s important for men to know that hardly any woman on the planet just wants to fuck. We want to make love! Sadly, many women have given up and lead desperate lives in a fallow garden of never having sex the way they need it if they are with a man. It’s because the women won’t take it upon themselves to teach you what to do for them by doing it to you. If you don’t pay attention and learn something from her cues, how she’s touching, what her body is doing, and a bunch of other stuff, you won’t keep her. She will either put on layers and stop taking care of herself because she needs your money, cheat on you, or divorce you. Women need to let you know what they want, how they want to be made love to by how she touches you! I’m sorry, but men don’t know squat. It’s not in your nature! Club hands.
Here’s to everyone making more Love baby! Love your own body, love your partner’s body and let them know by how you touch them and speak to them.
Protected: Essay; People Are Who They Are
Protected: The Sacrifice Model Shores up Patriarchy-Gender Ed
Protected: Essay; The Sacrifice Model Shores up Patriarchy
Protected: Prose; Elemental Woman
Essay: Heartset; There’s No One Left. I’m Alone. (Freebie)

It has finally happened after twenty years. I live alone in my house, no men, no noise, no demands for food or rides, this or that, “Mom can you help me!” “C’ mon, let’s go to the store”.
My son’s dad died nine years ago…the last time I saw him was Christmas Day. Five days later, he was gone. I barely eeked out a smile as I said goodbye. He had been pretty emotionally abusive to me, frustrated his whole life, not knowing he was high-functioning autistic savant until three months beforehand. My efforts at solace could not change his brain, but he was a music legend on the pile of my torn apart heart. In addition, my son did not see his father respect me; the fruits of patriarchy.
Three months later my fiance died. I had fifteen minutes notice. We loved each other and did everything for each other. It was not to be. He had not taken care of his body and it caught up with him.
Now four days ago, my nineteen-year-old son went out the door with his backpack and no notice to start his hero’s adventure quest which is his birthright. Good for him but he could have warned me! It reminded me of the sudden death of my fiance.
On his way out, of course, he was mad at me and said I was so selfish. I suppose because I take care of myself and being a female, that is unacceptable and taboo. I wonder if he thought of the effect of his words on me, skipping them like stones across the water? Doubtful at his age. I’ve been called selfish alot because I’m independent and have my own life that I share with a few people who don’t ask me to stop loving physics and time science just because I’m a girl.
But the men walk out quickly and don’t return I’ve learned, to the other side of this world…or town. It doesn’t matter. They’re not with me.
It is so peaceful in this house without a raucous male. Part of me has waited twenty years to take my body back from my partners and my son, and before that, a line of men, but not a long line.
Now I get an adventure quest; a fresh start, the second half of my life, a thriving business, a home, free to do whatever I want and a body with no risk of pregnancy. I haven’t given it all away.
It’s like this secret I have as a sixty two-year-old who no one would suspect and assumes in our youth-worshipping culture, female-sacrificing altars around every corner, that I’m all washed up. “Hasn’t that woman been laid flat yet? Well, why not?” (My mother keeps literally asking that as though she’s waiting for me to fall) “She’s Selfish!” they cry. With a capital “S” not a small “s”. There is the low self and the Higher Self. No. I just don’t believe in aging and atrophy. I don’t follow programming.
Truth is, I am my own best friend and for the first time in my life, I’m taking care of my body for me and no one else. More and more women are doing it. I’m not alone. We still have work to do and adventure quests to commence. Ridiculous isn’t it.
I feign an attitude and a bird ready to flip until my dying day…because I said so.
Protected: Essay: Heartset; Maybe Humans Crave Certain Feelings, not Drugs Themselves
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Protected: Essay; Men and Women Need Each Other
Protected: Essay; It’s Better to Have Loved
Prose; Oblivion

Digital Artist Sandra Bauser
Time fades into oblivion
One memory, one vision of you and I feel whole again.
I remember your voice, your smell, the feel of you next to me.
In time, it was so long ago, yet to my mind, it was yesterday.
My love for you is as natural as my heartbeat.
Prose; Skin

The shell of a turtle, a carapace, guards your continuance of electric water, straight to your brain, pulls your vibration down in by degrees.
Your skin like a husk full of ridges on corn smells sweet,
hard to pull off at the bottom, tassles so soft on my face, the smell of earth.
Your arm was warm and pleasant as the first tomato of summer in my hungry hand.
Let me bite into that luscious fruit, so sweet and tangy
or a mango stream of juice down my chin.
I’m distracted, clement smells from your back
Why are so sweet yet so smart and severe?
No end to touch makes my breathing peaceful.
I feel happy…oh god I’m doomed.
Indeed, it only lasted one day and you ripped your skin from me again.
At least you can’t take the memory from me.
Words can never erase actions like skin can never cover feelings.
Protected: Prose; The Garden Lies Fallow
Protected: Essay; Marriage is Prison for Some Women
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Protected: Essay; The Feminine Word Equivalent to the Masculine Word, “Emasculate”
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Protected: Essay; Middle Age Dating
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Protected: Essay; Men Have Feelings During Sex
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