Originally written in January 2020.
When dating, many men want to go to sex right away because it’s easy for them. Sex is center relational for them wheras talking , hanging out and friendship is center relational for women first. I advise people not to give in to sex right away.
They don’t want to show their lack of relationship skills, expressing emotion to a woman. Dating is a gray area with no fences, rules or customs that change with passing time. Men thrive with boundaries and go down the tubes if they’re free to roam too much or too long.
It’s the time when the female pulls out all of her expertly evolved radar and sizes up a man, checks him with her software and smells him to see if he’s useful for her purposes or worth giving her body to. Is he teachable or he is so together and smart that he doesn’t need to be taught?
She may even love him but that’s dangerous if not returned. Remember, every man who comes in you gives you some of his DNA. It’s a scientific fact. Microchimerism.
Mind you, a woman at any age can find a use for a man that suits her and we believe, and I’ve been told, men want us to want them. It’s not really the other way around. Men’s egos tell them they’re on top but they are not with women. Most women are easily acceptable to a man, especially if she’s very into him and is adoring but women’s standards for a man are higher.
Women don’t need to be adored; men do. We like love, friendship, and space. I’m super doting on a man I adore. It’s fairly nauseating and I can scarcely help it! To a man I don’t adore he doesn’t exist. That can be a heartbreaker but he had his chance to be invaluable to me and didn’t make the cut. In addition, I blogged on how I don’t care for the pressure of being adored by a man.
This is why dating is so awful for men and essential for women. Men really, really, really hate rejection and not measuring up. They have the evolutionary urge to be dominant, especially with women. I personally like that because as a strong woman, I need a break. I need support and someone to match me.
Women don’t experience that obsession with being accepted the same as men. All women I know of every size, look, or creed knows we hold the world together and give it love and life. Women are awesome and everything. So to be fair to men, they have to be given a chance to perform the dance in which they excel during dating; sex. I’m good with that as long as both parties know it’s an experiment not a relationship with commitment and tons of emotional bonding. It’s too early in the game. However, the man’s sexual performance will not impress an intelligent, tuned-in woman unless there is some emotional chemistry. That is non-negotiable and a deal-breaker if it’s absent.
This is a veritable minefield for most men as they do not excel at understanding or communicating emotion at all. It’s too easy for them to fail. That is an awful 4-letter word to a man. A few straight men do get emotions and they are super hot to me but most men are unskilled because feminism has distracted women from bothering with training men. Most women consider it beneath us now and many women just use men for sex. I don’t. Many young women don’t even want children or marriage anymore. The patriarchy needs to end or we are ready to beg off.
That’s a choice so I’m not judging it. Patriarchy has been especially hard on women and children but it has also been very hard on men. The elite use and slaughter men, their psyche, and their bodies and they partly program women to help them do it!
That’s a subject for another blog post but suffice to say, a modicum of dating needs to happen so that the woman gets what she needs and it’s not just McSex drive through which is bad for everyone and society. It’s up to women to ask for what they need as far as relating. Just don’t call it a relationship when you barely know each other! A relationship is built on affinity, friendship, maturity, trust, and emotional bonding; not just sex…at all.
