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Protected: Essay: Heartset; Breath controls Feelings
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Protected: Essay: Heartset; Keep Living
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Protected: Essay: Is Reductionist, Axiomatic Science A Masculine Disorder?
Essay; The Most Brilliant Ph.D. Thesis ever Written in Astronomy (Free)

Essay: Heartset; There’s No One Left. I’m Alone. (Freebie)

It has finally happened after twenty years. I live alone in my house, no men, no noise, no demands for food or rides, this or that, “Mom can you help me!” “C’ mon, let’s go to the store”.
My son’s dad died nine years ago…the last time I saw him was Christmas Day. Five days later, he was gone. I barely eeked out a smile as I said goodbye. He had been pretty emotionally abusive to me, frustrated his whole life, not knowing he was high-functioning autistic savant until three months beforehand. My efforts at solace could not change his brain, but he was a music legend on the pile of my torn apart heart. In addition, my son did not see his father respect me; the fruits of patriarchy.
Three months later my fiance died. I had fifteen minutes notice. We loved each other and did everything for each other. It was not to be. He had not taken care of his body and it caught up with him.
Now four days ago, my nineteen-year-old son went out the door with his backpack and no notice to start his hero’s adventure quest which is his birthright. Good for him but he could have warned me! It reminded me of the sudden death of my fiance.
On his way out, of course, he was mad at me and said I was so selfish. I suppose because I take care of myself and being a female, that is unacceptable and taboo. I wonder if he thought of the effect of his words on me, skipping them like stones across the water? Doubtful at his age. I’ve been called selfish alot because I’m independent and have my own life that I share with a few people who don’t ask me to stop loving physics and time science just because I’m a girl.
But the men walk out quickly and don’t return I’ve learned, to the other side of this world…or town. It doesn’t matter. They’re not with me.
It is so peaceful in this house without a raucous male. Part of me has waited twenty years to take my body back from my partners and my son, and before that, a line of men, but not a long line.
Now I get an adventure quest; a fresh start, the second half of my life, a thriving business, a home, free to do whatever I want and a body with no risk of pregnancy. I haven’t given it all away.
It’s like this secret I have as a sixty two-year-old who no one would suspect and assumes in our youth-worshipping culture, female-sacrificing altars around every corner, that I’m all washed up. “Hasn’t that woman been laid flat yet? Well, why not?” (My mother keeps literally asking that as though she’s waiting for me to fall) “She’s Selfish!” they cry. With a capital “S” not a small “s”. There is the low self and the Higher Self. No. I just don’t believe in aging and atrophy. I don’t follow programming.
Truth is, I am my own best friend and for the first time in my life, I’m taking care of my body for me and no one else. More and more women are doing it. I’m not alone. We still have work to do and adventure quests to commence. Ridiculous isn’t it.
I feign an attitude and a bird ready to flip until my dying day…because I said so.
Protected: Essay: False Equivalencies of Gender
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Protected: Essay: Re-Program; The Erroneous Line Drawn Between Science and Spirituality
My book “Healer” is published
My first book is available through the Kindle Store. The direct link to purchase it is:
“Our families mean a lot to most of us, but they can also attempt to block or control our choices. Many times, we don’t talk about that part because we feel they provide us with a measure of emotional and social security we wouldn’t have otherwise.
We now know that the subconscious mind is programmed by our parents in utero and through the first few years of life. How can we overstep that programming and move into our conscious mind where we make our own choices as adults?
Seventeen years of hands-on clinical experience with patients taught Lisa many ways to achieve it. She learned how to reclaim power over her life and teach it to her patients using holistic medicine and holistic values, Reiki, and Tzolkin Cosmology.
Synchronicity, not coincidence starts to figure into events. Everything happens for a reason. Once the lesson is learned, it can be released.”
The paperback will be available for sale in early September, also on Amazon Kindle Store. Enjoy!
Book Review for “The Lost Symbol” by Dan Brown
(The Lost Symbol came out in 2009, but I found some issues to be pertinent today in this book review I wrote that year)
The previous 2 books that I’ve read by Dan Brown; “Angels & Demons” and “Da Vinci Code” were quite riveting and fast reads, but “The Lost Symbol” rivaled them. In addition, Brown chose to write chapter after chapter as a type of sound-bite; a quickly changing scene to keep the attention of the reader. That was very clever and it worked! The trade-off was character and scene development. Even though we all know Langdon from the other books, people do grow and evolve.
Yet he portrayed Langdon very 2 dimensional and much the same. I got the sense he was really tired of this character and it showed in the writing. This was by no means a visionary work, but it was revealing and fun to read. Inquiring minds want to know! When you open the book, read the fiction disclaimer and then read the FACT page.
There was an advantage of the setting being on home turf; Washington D.C. As Americans, the revelation of the inner workings of our government is personal. Indeed, many of our family members are Masons. Many of our towns have “Masonic meeting halls”. In my hometown, there was a “Masonic Temple”. As a child I was taken by my Mother and Grandmother to many a community concert. But chapter 82, page 304 was especially personal for me.
At the opening of the chapter was the 10,647 rank organ that my cousin, Wayne Dirksen played and built as Music Director for The Washington National Cathedral in real life. His father founded the Freeport Organ Co. and taught him. Wayne was the music presenter for the Cathedral. Then as the characters proceeded into the Cathedral kitchen to reveal a very telling clue about “the pyramid”, I thought, “I wonder how many church suppers my relatives had in this hall and never imagined it would be the setting for revealing part of the secret about The Masons in a best-selling book?” The Washington National Cathedral is a Masonic stronghold-including the altar of the church, and my family has roots there.
What strikes me after having read these three books is in “Angels and Demons”, Brown deals with the secrets of The Illuminati and the Catholic Church. In “DaVinci Code” the antagonist power structure is The Catholic Church and finally, in “The Lost Symbol”-he deals with the secrets of The Masons, but they are protagonists and Protestant. What do all of these institutions have in common? They are male dominated with exclusive male membership. Albeit, DaVinci Code “suggested” the existence of the sacred feminine, but what conclusive power did she have? There was no real proof of her role.
For all the puzzle jumbling, blood, violence, and torture, there has never been a bigger scandal since the time of Christ than the absolute power vacuum of women in institutions of spiritual power. There has never been such an insulting, blatant, patronizing lack of comment on the real mystery behind the reason for male dominance in these institutions. In fact, the reason Dan Brown even HAS a story to write about, even HAS all these mounds of puzzles and symbols to decipher and secrets to root out is because the female has not been portrayed in the real light she holds in the evolution of spiritual power on this planet!
These books lean heavily on the “sacrifice model” to tell the story. That is because they leave the female out. The Bible completely leaves the female out as an equal to the male. And the Apostle Paul and Thomas Aquinas have a heyday denigrating her. That being said, the reason the Catholics can continue to hold power in the world is because their focus remains on the person of Christ and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, as well as revering Mary. Yet they are the holdout for ordaining women.
For all the Universal ecumenism propounded by the Masons and some Protestants, what do they have to say about Christ? Do they think that he was “just another Master” walking the planet or do they really believe, as suggested in the book, that we could each be like him with that level of healing power and love in our hearts? Not if they keep playing their sacrifice rituals over and over as shown in the book!
Love is yielding, not sacrifice. It is the love that causes one to yield in order to teach a lesson, to further the cause, rather than resist; not sacrifice. The concept of sacrifice is violent and male. His death was not a sacrifice. The sacrificial focus of all the Pagan religions is over. Give Jesus some credit. Most of the time, he did not yield. Take one look at scripture and you’ll see how he laid into the Pharisees and Sadducees when they were wrong; but not at the end. He yielded and it was heinous. It was the most scandalous torture of an innocent man, not just on this planet, but in the Universe. Will this planet ever live it down?
Maybe that’s why so many humans like to believe the cross is so beautiful and venerate it. It’s a type of denial to try to cleanse it of what it REALLY was; abysmal. It seems to me that by venerating it you also approve of the enacting of sacrifice.
Am I questioning Jesus decision to yield; no-of course not. I do question the efficacy and intent of Christ to interpret it as a sacrifice. He went knowingly and on purpose. If it was a sacrifice, he was a martyr. If he yielded, he was a Rabbi and a lover of humans, come to regain power over our planet and vanquish Lucifer. He did accomplish that no matter how much Christians want to keep talking about him. It’s finished!
I am grateful for every single speck of who he was, what he did, and what he said. But I feel, as a follower, that his teaching should no longer be denigrated by organized religion with its pagan symbols and interpretations, much less sensationalized in books such as Dan Brown’s. Power goes to the one who yields in love. That is what Christ did. Neither the Catholics, nor the Masons, nor the Protestants get it. The hubris of the Masonic thinking has indeed crept into the Protestant church. There is a huge misunderstanding here about what Christ actually taught. And to boot, it’s not being taught by the Catholic or Protestant Church either.
Michelangelo portrays the mystery of this yielding in the astounding “Pieta”. I’ve stared at that statue quite awhile to receive its deeper meaning. I’ve thought about all I’ve read in Dan Brown’s books about religion, symbolism, the sacred feminine, antagonist/protagonist, and the real meaning of Christ’s death.
The message I received was the need for “balance”. There needed to be balance brought to this planet between the male and the female. As Christ’s body lay dead in the lap of Mary in the Michelangelos Sculpture, “Pieta”, I see him yielding to the sacred feminine, to Mother Spirit, to his Mother Mary in the hopes that with the release of his soul, she would come forth and help him bring balance to this troubled sphere. Was that his core message? So once again, the two shall become one. He yielded his body to her, knowing that SHE was the author of his life, from which all life comes, in conjunction with The Father. It is the great mystery yet to be unraveled, the great secret yet to be told on Planet Earth, the story that Dan Brown hasn’t told that underpins all spiritual institutions, all symbols, and all religions. Maybe I’ll have to write a book then.
Protected: Essay; Feel Free to Bother Me
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Protected: Essay; No Thank You #2- I’d Rather Have This. ~ Response to Dina Leygerman, 2017 The Women’s Movement
Protected: Essay; Third Wave Feminism. You could Unclench your Fist, Open your hand and Meditate to Bring Real Change.
Protected: Essay; No Thank You. My Response to ~ Dina Leygerman, 2017 attitude about the Women’s March-#1
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