If We’re Not Thinking in Dreams…

They know by studying the brain that we are not “thinking” while we sleep.
If I’m not thinking, then where are the people, places, voices, words, events, and feelings coming from? It’s not exactly like watching a movie; it’s more like an opaque, frenetic cloud that’s really alive.
I’m free in my dreams to sit back or join in, to interact or be quiet without judgment. Waking life is a dream for me. All day, while I’m “awake”, I’m trying to go back to my dream state to remember how I felt, who I saw, and what happened. It feels like there is a whole other life full of etheric information for me there. Waking life feels like just a resonance is a type of magnetic can; the kind you string together.
Where did I go? I know it was a good place because it affects my day, depending on where I went that night.
I’m not saying I don’t like it here, on earth, but the other side does beckon somehow. I’m a bit glad of that for when my body is worn to a frazzle at one-hundred and four years old, my work is done, it will be easy to drift off and say, “My work here is done. I’m out.” My senses and my body still want to drink in all that earth has to offer though, right now.
Earth is fabulous, no matter how hard it can get here.
Prose; Sweet Earth

The smell of the grass, the trees, the fresh air in my lungs, the blood coursing through my body; that is sweet.
The physical presence of the soil beneath my feet and the sunlight in my eyes, that is true earthly sweet love and nurturing.
Humans aren’t there most of the time for each other anymore-especially when things are going well. Our culture has taken peoples time and minds from earthly awareness so that we are lucky to see each other for one hour a month if that. I’m not going to make myself sick just so people will come running to me, keep me company, and nurture me while I lie there. How is that companionship? I thought people who loved you wanted to share good times with you, not just bad?
The earth and my body are there for me constantly and give to me all the time, even when I’m confident and feeling really happy. The Earth doesn’t abandon me when I’m happy or treat me like a barking dog because I’m a woman that speaks up! I honor and think of the earth all the time in return.
I’m in love with the Earth. That is my sustenance, healing, and love. I guess it will remain so until I’m done here.
Protected: Essay: Re-Program; The Role of Intuition in the Scientific Method
Prose; Wanting to Be Right
Why do we want to be right all the time?
Why do I want to be right most of the time?
Why do I glee over saying, “See, I was right!”
Because we doubt ourselves too much so we are reassuring ourselves by saying it.
Because others who doubt themselves doubt us and say it!
Because others project their experience of being shunned for being or doing something that was wrong, onto us.
Because “if you make a mistake, you are forgiven”, isn’t widely practiced.
So, now I try to catch myself and say, “Lisa, do what you feel, study what you feel, write what you feel and use the best skill you’ve got. That’s all you can do.” I’ve got a lot of skill and I’ve paid the piper so I have no reason to doubt myself. Whether anyone will listen and understand has never proven to be plentiful. So what?
And now, when someone criticizes me harshly when I meant absolutely no harm and never do, I know that they have not forgiven themselves for being wrong or someone else has not forgiven them for being wrong or vice versa.
It closes the heart.
Wow, the feeling of being around someone with a closed heart and lots of conditions, or an open heart and few conditions, is night and day.
Saturn, So Beautiful and Planet of the Hexagon
Protected: Essay: Women’s and Men’s Brains are Biologically Different
Essay: Moving from Subconscious to Conscious Mind

Please read this short article.
From the Old Brain to The New Brain
“Some of the scientists who study the brain (neuroscientists, behavioral psychologists, etc.) believe the vagus nerve or spindle neurons that connect the prefrontal cortex (new brain) to the insula (old brain) may be the communication superhighway that links the conscious (new brain) to the subconscious (old brain). The subconscious brain may be using this very superhighway to communicate intuition, gut feelings and insight (aha moments) to the conscious brain.”-Thomas C. Corley
The latest neuroscience is investigating and talking about the “new brain” or the “conscious brain”. Humanity has been sitting in and using the subconscious mind for most of our existence (1 million years). The subconscious mind comes from parents, family, town, local provincial environment. It has totally helped us survive in a tribal world that expects certain behaviors. All of our institutions have grown up around it. It’s a sponge, defines our local reality, and is subjective. There is nothing objective or conscious about the subconscious mind! It pretty much defines brainwashing and most people’s reality on earth!
But in the case of the evolving brain, that’s a good thing. You have to understand and be able to get on with the locals to survive. Consciousness doesn’t happen overnight.
The subconscious mind comes from parents, family, town, local provincial environment. It has totally helped us survive in a tribal world that expects certain behaviors. All of our institutions have grown up around it. It’s a sponge, defines our local reality, and is subjective. There is nothing objective or conscious about the subconscious mind! It pretty much defines brainwashing and most people’s reality on earth!
But in the case of the evolving brain, that’s a good thing. You have to understand and be able to get on with the locals to survive. Consciousness doesn’t happen overnight.
But, as we can see by how pluralistic and expressive all people the world over are becoming and boundaries morphing, we see symptoms of humanity moving into the new brain or the conscious mind. It is just now occurring. Technology linking everyone is sort of the “leg up” here. We are starting to have unity of mind. That will morph too as our reality moves into the conscious mind and we express ourselves as individuals who are inter-dependent.
Technology linking everyone is sort of the “leg up” here. We are starting to have unity of mind. That will morph too as our reality moves into the conscious mind and we express ourselves as individuals who are inter-dependent.
Many that have been working in the holistic, spirituality, or paradigm shift movement have predicted this change since the 1970s, and have been experiencing events that are indicative of moving INTUITION in particular from the subconscious mind to living and manifesting in the conscious mind. The hippies started it. Most of my adult life (35 years from ages 20-54) has been defined by using my intuition IN my conscious mind and pushing my subconscious mind to the background. That is not usual but that’s what I did. The proof is in my new book “Healer”. There is no way I would have been able to overstep subconsciously created, reality-based events that were foisted on me if I was not residing in my conscious mind. The Universe had my back and I was cared for.
Most of my adult life (35 years from ages 20-54) has been defined by using my intuition IN my conscious mind and pushing my subconscious mind to the background. That is not usual but that’s what I did. The proof is in my new book “Healer”. There is no way I would have been able to overstep subconsciously created, reality-based events that were foisted on me if I was not residing in my conscious mind. The Universe had my back and I was cared for.
While it may be true that all thoughts originate in the provincial subconscious mind, those of us that have not accepted our upbringing as the totality of reality, didn’t like or agree with our upbringing, or felt our upbringing fell far short of real love, want to move quickly into our conscious brain, or “new brain” because we’re happier and feel more in charge of setting our destiny.
Intuition “up”
Prose; Dissolving

Written 9/7/17 I remember writing this. It was a tough one. I was so tired of feeling used.
Dissolve people from my space that do not take care of themselves. I’m not your healer. I’m healing myself from victims and off-loaders. You heal yourself, I don’t heal you. That’s not my head trip, that’s yours.
Dissolve people from my space that think I should be on a saint pedestal just because I have integrity and do good in the world. I’m just a human being that refuses to tolerate certain energy just like everyone else. I’m SO happy to disappoint them when they compete with me when there is nothing to compete with. Everyone is different. Don’t compete with me. Read my book, then compete with the death and suffering that I never hold onto and know how to release. Dare you! No pity. That’s ego too. Compassion is all that’s called for; for me and yourself.
Dissolve people from my space that expect me to lead them into the light and refuse to do it for themselves. I’m not God nor do I want to be. Walk into your own light after I show you how!
Dissolve people from my space that say they care and then try to put me under their boot when they don’t know what they’re talking about.
Dissolve relationship with family members that don’t know how to let go of negative emotion and want me to be as dependent as they are. No. I don’t need to be.
Dissolve ties to people who walk late into a meeting they set up with me and immediately say, even before we begin, that they want nothing to do with me ever again after this meeting. REALLY!? Grow up. There is not going to be a meeting because you want to dominate, not discourse. I don’t work with people who want to dominate. I work with people who respect me enough to be my equal.
You want your power back?… I just handed it back to you because you erroneously gave it OVER to me when I never fucking asked for it!
Dissolve those who are always up to something, say they support you, then they vampire energy from you because they don’t take care of themselves.
Done. Dissolved. Happy to be just human. Happy to never, ever, ever want anyone to put me on a fucking pedestal just so they can try to knock me off to prove something to themselves.
You’re jealous of my strength and achievement? Then be jealous of the death, loss, vampiric sucking, hate, and jealous family to whom I courageously flip the bird to in order to get to this point. I know I deserve to be happy and abundant and not be surrounded by people that want to either worship me or destroy me for their selfish ego purposes.
Go away.
I’m just a human being with friends doing the work I love.
Prose; How the Light Changes
Written 9/5/17
Once the sun comes up, the sun in my eyes charges my brain like a battery.
The position of the shadows on the wall meanders aimlessly to new places like a squirrel trying to find a home for his peanut.
The refraction off of the green leaves will meet its demise when the colors change and drop like so many ancestors on our family tree. Into the ground, they go.
We’re all soiled phantoms, you know.
One day full of light and life, and soon, the Earth reclaims us.
Do you know there hasn’t been one, single human body to escape this transformation?
What happens to our light and life, like that green leaf?
The light changes.
Essay: Activating the 12 Chakra System
I work with the immaterial energy centers of the body all the time in my office while I’m doing Reiki. My patients can feel it because I’m working with Qi or Ki. In addition, my pendulum can pick up the direction of their spin very easily but I don’t use it much anymore. My hands can feel it. I only use it when a patient needs to see how their energy is affecting something they can see; the pendulum.

Chakra means “wheel”. Most people are used to working with the 7 chakras, but in this time of increased spiritual growth and ascension, it is important to work with the 12 chakras. That said, only do it when you’re ready, especially if you’re just now becoming aware of your qi and the chakras.
12-Stellar Gateway chakra-Accessed in deep meditation or even in the dream state at night when you’re out of the body yet still tethered.
11-Soul Star-The Soul Star Chakra is located about six inches above the crown chakra (top of the head) & is the bridge from the human to the spiritual realms. …
10-Causal-The causal body is the layer of energy beyond the higher mental body and is linked to the throat chakra and the causal chakra at the back of the head. This is the doorway to higher consciousness and links the personality to the collective consciousness of the planet.
9-Crown Chakra-This is where we learn, on a spiritual level, to love unconditionally, allow compassion for our fellow soul’s who we realize are on their own path, just like us. It’s also where we open up to lessons directly given from spirit guides and what opens wider when we seek an adventure.
8-Third eye chakra or clairvoyant seeing. This one spins constantly for me as I live by my intuition first and then I run it through the filter of my rational mind. It’s psychic vision or a sense of what you are creating going forward for yourself.
7-Throat chakra-how you express yourself. Whether speaking, writing, playing, crafting, painting…you are speaking in your voice that is unique to you. For people that feel they must hold their tongue or were taught to guard their cards closely, this will be very low functioning. There is a good middle ground here.
6-Heart Chakra-who and what you love lives here.
5-Solar Plexus-Your power chakra. How you express your strength, what you’re good at in the world or not who you are to the outside world, confidence level.
4-Naval chakra. This is the Dan Tien and is the center of your body. Your birth qi is seeded here by your mother, who also formed your subconscious mind. This is very personal and sometimes we need to talk deeply about this.
3-Sacral chakra-personal feelings. Relates to all reproductive and digestive issues.
2-Root chakra-Your grounding, sense of connection and security in the body related to sex, reproduction, money, ability to walk, willingness to walk, desire to run, relaxation and movement of the feet, hip, knee, ankle, and feet will be directly affected by your attitudes, values, feelings and actions with regard to all of these issues. Security, territory, property, what propels you to stay in the body and keep interacting on Earth in this unique manner. The ten chakras above it are what energize you with “your agenda”. Everyone is walking the Earth for different reasons. The soles of your feet bring in the energy directly from the Earth like a two-pronged plug plugged into an electrical outlet. Be sure you’re plugged into the Earth.
1-Earth Star. The condition of your earth star will tell a practitioner whether you’re plugged in the body or compromised.
Chakra healing is now a widely known method of energy healing, and although most people are familiar with the 7 chakra system, there are in fact many chakras. The higher ones are transpersonal.
It’s important to work with your Reiki practitioner closely to activate and balance both front aspect and rear aspect chakras.
Peace!
My book “Healer” is published
My first book is available through the Kindle Store. The direct link to purchase it is:
“Our families mean a lot to most of us, but they can also attempt to block or control our choices. Many times, we don’t talk about that part because we feel they provide us with a measure of emotional and social security we wouldn’t have otherwise.
We now know that the subconscious mind is programmed by our parents in utero and through the first few years of life. How can we overstep that programming and move into our conscious mind where we make our own choices as adults?
Seventeen years of hands-on clinical experience with patients taught Lisa many ways to achieve it. She learned how to reclaim power over her life and teach it to her patients using holistic medicine and holistic values, Reiki, and Tzolkin Cosmology.
Synchronicity, not coincidence starts to figure into events. Everything happens for a reason. Once the lesson is learned, it can be released.”
The paperback will be available for sale in early September, also on Amazon Kindle Store. Enjoy!
Prose; I Want the Music a Little Louder

I want the music a little louder,
for our kiss to last longer,
to breathe a little deeper and drink more coffee.
I want more swing to the jazz and a louder backbeat and
to dance a bit longer and sing with our friends,
Let’s finish that bottle of wine and stay together
because tomorrow is not promised
and I have to look at your face as much as possible.
Protected: Essay: Re-Program; Process or Product? Materialism
Prose; Rear View Mirror

I was looking straight ahead, as usual, driving my car.
I very rarely look at the car behind me in my rearview mirror.
For some reason, this time I did.
She was alone in her car with sunglasses on. I tried not to stare because somehow, I could tell she was upset.
I must have had my empathic radar on again because she looked normal for ten seconds.
I kept glancing back though.
Ok, now she was crying very hard.
I could tell by the shape of her lips as she was trying to control herself and wiping under her eyes beneath the sunglasses.
So many questions and pictures went through my mind.
Did she just get a call from the hospital that her son had gotten into a car accident?
Did one of her parents just die?
Then she started hitting the passenger seat and crying while we sat at the red light.
Being the kind of person I am, I wished I could let her know I wanted to reach out to her somehow.
When she got angry and hit the seat, that caused me to think her husband either asked for a divorce, she caught him with another woman, or her boyfriend text broke up with her.
Then the light turned green.
I wondered all of that, seeing something I’ve never seen before all in a space of forty-five seconds.
I hope she’s ok but I’ll never know.
Book Review for “The Lost Symbol” by Dan Brown
(The Lost Symbol came out in 2009, but I found some issues to be pertinent today in this book review I wrote that year)
The previous 2 books that I’ve read by Dan Brown; “Angels & Demons” and “Da Vinci Code” were quite riveting and fast reads, but “The Lost Symbol” rivaled them. In addition, Brown chose to write chapter after chapter as a type of sound-bite; a quickly changing scene to keep the attention of the reader. That was very clever and it worked! The trade-off was character and scene development. Even though we all know Langdon from the other books, people do grow and evolve.
Yet he portrayed Langdon very 2 dimensional and much the same. I got the sense he was really tired of this character and it showed in the writing. This was by no means a visionary work, but it was revealing and fun to read. Inquiring minds want to know! When you open the book, read the fiction disclaimer and then read the FACT page.
There was an advantage of the setting being on home turf; Washington D.C. As Americans, the revelation of the inner workings of our government is personal. Indeed, many of our family members are Masons. Many of our towns have “Masonic meeting halls”. In my hometown, there was a “Masonic Temple”. As a child I was taken by my Mother and Grandmother to many a community concert. But chapter 82, page 304 was especially personal for me.
At the opening of the chapter was the 10,647 rank organ that my cousin, Wayne Dirksen played and built as Music Director for The Washington National Cathedral in real life. His father founded the Freeport Organ Co. and taught him. Wayne was the music presenter for the Cathedral. Then as the characters proceeded into the Cathedral kitchen to reveal a very telling clue about “the pyramid”, I thought, “I wonder how many church suppers my relatives had in this hall and never imagined it would be the setting for revealing part of the secret about The Masons in a best-selling book?” The Washington National Cathedral is a Masonic stronghold-including the altar of the church, and my family has roots there.
What strikes me after having read these three books is in “Angels and Demons”, Brown deals with the secrets of The Illuminati and the Catholic Church. In “DaVinci Code” the antagonist power structure is The Catholic Church and finally, in “The Lost Symbol”-he deals with the secrets of The Masons, but they are protagonists and Protestant. What do all of these institutions have in common? They are male dominated with exclusive male membership. Albeit, DaVinci Code “suggested” the existence of the sacred feminine, but what conclusive power did she have? There was no real proof of her role.
For all the puzzle jumbling, blood, violence, and torture, there has never been a bigger scandal since the time of Christ than the absolute power vacuum of women in institutions of spiritual power. There has never been such an insulting, blatant, patronizing lack of comment on the real mystery behind the reason for male dominance in these institutions. In fact, the reason Dan Brown even HAS a story to write about, even HAS all these mounds of puzzles and symbols to decipher and secrets to root out is because the female has not been portrayed in the real light she holds in the evolution of spiritual power on this planet!
These books lean heavily on the “sacrifice model” to tell the story. That is because they leave the female out. The Bible completely leaves the female out as an equal to the male. And the Apostle Paul and Thomas Aquinas have a heyday denigrating her. That being said, the reason the Catholics can continue to hold power in the world is because their focus remains on the person of Christ and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, as well as revering Mary. Yet they are the holdout for ordaining women.
For all the Universal ecumenism propounded by the Masons and some Protestants, what do they have to say about Christ? Do they think that he was “just another Master” walking the planet or do they really believe, as suggested in the book, that we could each be like him with that level of healing power and love in our hearts? Not if they keep playing their sacrifice rituals over and over as shown in the book!
Love is yielding, not sacrifice. It is the love that causes one to yield in order to teach a lesson, to further the cause, rather than resist; not sacrifice. The concept of sacrifice is violent and male. His death was not a sacrifice. The sacrificial focus of all the Pagan religions is over. Give Jesus some credit. Most of the time, he did not yield. Take one look at scripture and you’ll see how he laid into the Pharisees and Sadducees when they were wrong; but not at the end. He yielded and it was heinous. It was the most scandalous torture of an innocent man, not just on this planet, but in the Universe. Will this planet ever live it down?
Maybe that’s why so many humans like to believe the cross is so beautiful and venerate it. It’s a type of denial to try to cleanse it of what it REALLY was; abysmal. It seems to me that by venerating it you also approve of the enacting of sacrifice.
Am I questioning Jesus decision to yield; no-of course not. I do question the efficacy and intent of Christ to interpret it as a sacrifice. He went knowingly and on purpose. If it was a sacrifice, he was a martyr. If he yielded, he was a Rabbi and a lover of humans, come to regain power over our planet and vanquish Lucifer. He did accomplish that no matter how much Christians want to keep talking about him. It’s finished!
I am grateful for every single speck of who he was, what he did, and what he said. But I feel, as a follower, that his teaching should no longer be denigrated by organized religion with its pagan symbols and interpretations, much less sensationalized in books such as Dan Brown’s. Power goes to the one who yields in love. That is what Christ did. Neither the Catholics, nor the Masons, nor the Protestants get it. The hubris of the Masonic thinking has indeed crept into the Protestant church. There is a huge misunderstanding here about what Christ actually taught. And to boot, it’s not being taught by the Catholic or Protestant Church either.
Michelangelo portrays the mystery of this yielding in the astounding “Pieta”. I’ve stared at that statue quite awhile to receive its deeper meaning. I’ve thought about all I’ve read in Dan Brown’s books about religion, symbolism, the sacred feminine, antagonist/protagonist, and the real meaning of Christ’s death.
The message I received was the need for “balance”. There needed to be balance brought to this planet between the male and the female. As Christ’s body lay dead in the lap of Mary in the Michelangelos Sculpture, “Pieta”, I see him yielding to the sacred feminine, to Mother Spirit, to his Mother Mary in the hopes that with the release of his soul, she would come forth and help him bring balance to this troubled sphere. Was that his core message? So once again, the two shall become one. He yielded his body to her, knowing that SHE was the author of his life, from which all life comes, in conjunction with The Father. It is the great mystery yet to be unraveled, the great secret yet to be told on Planet Earth, the story that Dan Brown hasn’t told that underpins all spiritual institutions, all symbols, and all religions. Maybe I’ll have to write a book then.
Prose; Publishing Joy
I feel like my baby is about to go off to college.
I’m about to publish my first book and it’s almost time to let it go,
No longer able to control where it goes in the ethers,
Out into the world, warts and all,
Fresh, innocent, never having smelled a book store (yeah right)
Never having gone through the digital or paper mill…
Does that hurt?
My memories, feelings, occurrences, family secrets, pictures,
losses, dates, intimacies, grandparents, babies lost, tears cried,
Oh my god!!!! Why did I write this memoir????
Stop the presses! I can’t do this!!!!
I can’t put all of the truths of my life out into the public for perusal and criticism!
Not that anyone will care…but my life has been interesting hasn’t it?
I wrote it so it sounded interesting….yes I did.
Why did I listen to my FRIEND???? She said, “Lisa, write a memoir”
after hearing me tell stories.
Well, what if no one ELSE is the least bit interested?
This is nail-biting territory if anyone reads it.
I seriously do have many mind-bender stories.
What if people think I’m nuts?
There’s no such thing as bad press.
I’m just…a little nervous I guess.

Essay; Feel Free to Bother Me

I went out tonight to hear jazz. My friend was playing.
I was perfectly happy sitting alone with my sushi and drink.
Then I feel these tentacles pulling on me and then staring, wanting my attention, wanting to talk, wanting to come over. He was needy and lonely. I wasn’t. Why was he? How many times have I seen men like that?
He’d already struck up a conversation with me from two chairs down which was ambitious. He was smart and interesting fortunately and now we’re friends…I guess. Who knows? We know each other’s name.
I said, “Come on over and we can chat,” and he said, “I’d like that.” I was being a little indulgent as I tend to be with men. They’re like needy puppies. I really need to stop feeling sorry for them or thinking they’re adorable.
But I still got that lusty, “You’re cute” vibe from him after a bit and left to chat with my other friend who I knew wouldn’t throw that energy at me. Yeah, every guy thinks I’m cute dude until they start talking to me and find out what I really think.
I don’t know if some men want to use me to forget themselves, forget their wife who died, or to remember themselves. Maybe it’s all of those.
But I still feel used when all I wanted to do was hear music so I could just relax and take care of myself. I could have put up a wall. It’s partly my fault.
I have to take care of myself. No man is taking care of me and I’m not asking because I know the answer. It’s all different in middle age. A man owes me nothing now because I’m not going to have any more children. I pay my mortgage and all of my bills on my own, no help from anyone at all, including the government.
Why does he feel male privilege to bother me?
They either want attention, sex, food or talking, even from a stranger!
The last thing he wants to do is to take care of himself the way I do.
Maybe that’s just my generation.
And yet, the men supposedly have more of everything for themselves, most of the money, most of the property, most of everything. I’m not so sure about that.
But you still need more from a woman?
Why?
Why can I feel myself MORE without a man next to me? That’s curious. The fact is I do feel myself more without a man living with me. Unless it’s the one I really want and that’s another matter.
If you learn how to take care of yourself and share and I’ll give you the time of day.
Because I and many women like me have nothing more to give you guys that you can’t give to yourselves without you taking us down the river.
Protected: Essay; It’s Better to Have Loved
Prose; Oblivion

Digital Artist Sandra Bauser
Time fades into oblivion
One memory, one vision of you and I feel whole again.
I remember your voice, your smell, the feel of you next to me.
In time, it was so long ago, yet to my mind, it was yesterday.
My love for you is as natural as my heartbeat.

