Tag: dating

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Intimacy; Gray Area Between Relationship and Hookup?


I wrote this in 2020. I am not the same in 2025.-L.T.

I have to admit, if I’m not looking for a committed relationship with a man I don’t pay much attention to personally. I’m looking for an attraction for sex or a lover. Women are no different from men sometimes.

Having touch and sex is a health issue. We all need it! I’m not throwing guilt in there but I do notice that the emotional detachment with a man turns me off no matter how hot he is. I appreciate the beauty of a man though just as much as men do with women. Yet, it’s not even close to being like love.

Things get tricky when a man is your friend and you have things in common and have known each other for a while. If he has a disposable hookup habit with women who are not friends how will he handle sex with a friend? Another notch only meaner? He gets double points for disposing of a female friend? Ultimately, she’s only a woman and nothing stops him from devouring as much as he can for free.

Being women, we do have the ability to make a man fall in love with us by loving him from the heart, talking to him, and being irresistibly sexy even while we’re free spirits and have no intention of having him on a hook. Personally, I have no desire for a man around just as I have no pet in the house. I’m busy with the work I love. But I’m not sure I want the burden of a man in love with me to weigh me down.

I think you have to be ready to lose the friendship on the sex altar. It happens on the attraction and flirting altar too. That just ended one of my friendships. We didn’t even have sex but we may as well have because the energy and affection were there…then it left. It was his doing because he decided to hook up with someone else much easier to handle, blonder, and more tattooed likely with piercings in all the gross places. Lol. She was his level.

There is a gray area in there somewhere. I just haven’t found the sweet spot. Que sera sera.

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Essay; Friendship First When Dating


man and woman

…or you can be sure she/he is using you for sex, which is what she assumes is the main thing you want and you both go down together. No one’s life is improving there.

If it’s what you both want I guess it’s fine but it’s not what I want. I’ve decided I want the whole deal again.

It’s a good idea right off the bat to be honest about what you’re looking for. There are plenty of women who just want sex and not a relationship also! You can also pay for a woman’s services and they will be professionals, fit, limber, lingerie, come-fuck-me-heels, ready to go for a price! They are the ones who are cynical about men and have given up on love and have no faith in men to be intelligent, relational, human beings.

Every woman has given up on men at some point on a heart level but not all of us can do that to our bodies. It’s toxic energy but many men are actually at the level and staying at that level. I’m not in denial about it. I don’t think it will be good sex, but, hey, everyone has their standards.

I don’t shame men anymore either. I actually believe it’s men’s natural level to be absolutely shallow about sex and natural for women not to be. The much bigger deal to them is friendship and caring. Sex is easy for men and they’ve been shamed for it, unjustly. Women aren’t shamed for being relational or wanting to have children which all comes naturally to us! We need to stop sex-shaming everyone! So there is absolutely no point of lying and using a good woman who wants friendship, to get to know you as a person, to be with you, and possibly the whole deal.

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Essay: Everyday Spirituality; What is Your Lilith Placement? (Freebie)


This is actually pretty interesting. I woke up obsessed with the Lilith point position in my solar chart. I must have dreamt about it. Our solar charts are limited with regard to our destiny and personality because they only take into account 4D solar positions of where we are each positioned in this Matrix of ours.  When I do Intuitive readings for people, I only glance, not study their solar natal chart and their Tzolkinkonic line-up in the Mayan multidimensional alignments as well. Those are the destiny patterns. Now the context of what I see intuitively for the individual is in a universal context.

I’ve been working this way for years and it’s not hard to work up a chart. It does take time though and I offer it as a service. That said, there STILL is NO CONTROL or overstep by those alignments over your free will, your mindset, and heart set. So when I look at a person intuitively, I literally see what they’re creating right now, what could be coming pretty soon and bit further down the line. However, that can change if you change yourself in a big way.

The thing is, most of us don’t change in a big way as we go through life. It’s all usually gradual. That is the healthy way to be because of our brain and body like equilibrium. Every health care practitioner will tell you that. Consequently, people who are drawn to extreme swings of behavior or health regimens are usually judged handily. That’s not fair. Sure, they may die sooner than rest of us but if that’s fun for them and makes life worth living, let them be. However, don’t follow their lead! It’s not for everyone. Personally, I’m better SAFE than SORRY!

Now we get to what I’ve been blogging on. Men and relationships, dating and sex boundaries. In walks Lilith, the dark of the moon who is often envisioned as a dangerous demon of the night, who is sexually wanton, and who steals babies in the darkness. Lilith may be linked in part to a historically earlier class of female demons in ancient Mesopotamian religion, found in cuneiform texts of Sumer, the Akkadian Empire, Assyria, and Babylonia. She was mythologically Adam’s first wife made of clay, just like him, not from his rib as Eve was. Again, this is all fictional, a character likely made up by the Jewish priests who needed a twist on Eve. Her name really means Night.

Dark Lilith

I think she’s a little Hollywood Blvd. or everyone dressed in black in Greenwich Village in New York. It’s kind of immature but there are many women that are into this. I personally wouldn’t mess with this energy. That said, one interpretation of my chart says I need to face my inner night, my lack of balance that is my Lilith in Libra.

White Lilith

There is another whitewashed version of her that is a little Victorian. But many women take to this one as well. I can’t relate to this one either. I know many women who can and do though. My family takes after this one.

The Lilith placement in the solar chart is about your resistance in this life. What are you ashamed of, what do you struggle with, what do you need to rampage? Having confidence in yourself? Taking care of your body? We all know that we need struggle to grow, like a seed germinating in its pod underground. There has to be some adversity, a freeze, to stimulate its DNA to push up out of the dark soil toward the sun. The human soul is exactly the same way. To that end, google “Calculate my Lilith in my natal chart” to find out. Then there are many sites that interpret it. As you might guess, my Lilith in Libra has everything to do with the balance of power with men and it is a huge issue for me. Apparently, the blindfold on the goddess Justice is idealistic. It doesn’t exactly work that way.

I am a lightworker, but in what ways do I need to see my dark pieces? It’s a valid question because we all have vices amidst our virtues. I prefer the picture below as it indicates the wisdom and animal totem of owl, birds, night time, and the full moon. Those things are all good and evoke the womb, the second chakra, goddess energy and what the men truly crave from women in balance during sex. I believe the balance between women and men begins with each woman truly honoring the power of her body, her light pieces, and her dark pieces. Men (and women) can help us see what those might be but we should never give them control over them.

owl_goddess Lilith

 

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Just Friends


Let’s add some comedy to the mix. My friend just posted this on FB and my stomach hurts from laughing.

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Essay; Women Can Be Loving with Sexual Energy But Only if It’s Reciprocated


zooskToday the rubber meets the road and as I was working out, Spirit got to me. Some say God or Source. I pride myself on listening for spiritual guidance so that I’m always in my power and integrity so that’s what some of this information is. If it’s not true for you, just leave it be.

My intuition was very strongly scoping out my body this morning which it’s been doing lately. I sensed that most of the time women take energy from the man in the form of seed (sperm) or money but I don’t think we love as often as we could. Of course, we have our own money but women that marry a man do so mostly for his sperm so she can have their child (pure love) and his money (to support that pure love). In that, he is viewed as successful but men shouldn’t have to be defined just by that just as women aren’t. It’s rarely really loving. I say this from talking to many women who rarely express love for their man the way they do their children. Many women withhold their heart love from sex because the man doesn’t stimulate it with human intimacy. I’m not sure women are aware of it but I know I’ve done it because I resent that men don’t love from heart energy. I think that’s why in my 20’s I kept falling in love with gay men. Straight men don’t love the same way women do! It’s not their fault that they’re more simple. They love from first chakra or just sexual energy, their stomach, and from their minds. (Chakras 7, 3, and 1 or mind, power and food and sex) Women are more centered in chakras 6, 5, 4, and 2 or intuition, speaking and communicating, heart love and feelings. Gay men are too.

Tree with intuitive human

The sacral chakra or chakra two is right below the navel. This is the emotions center, conception, and THE center of creation and love on the planet in the woman’s body. Men don’t have the same energy in chakra 2. Being a woman, I know I cover my belly, hold in my procreative energy and sexual energy there for myself because society doesn’t give me any. I don’t release it during sex unless I’m feeling particularly empowered from within and feel that the man I’m with deserves it because he loves me.

On this planet, it takes a phenomenal amount of energy for a woman to love herself by herself. We’re not taught by any institution or any part of society to love ourselves alone. Women that are internally strong are called witches, freaks, or weird. My patient called me weird yesterday when I told her I was very intuitive. Good ole’ Grand Rapids. That would be me and I’m none of those things. As Lady Gaga says, “I was born this way”.

My oldest sister has always called me a freak though but she’s jealous because she’s more normal than she’d like. Hey, if you’re not willing to do the work and willing to pay the price of being exceptional in a mediocre driven society, I’m sorry.  Hardly any women love themselves from within because you’ll be a social outcast. I’m just being the way I was born to be and I refuse to adjust. It’s not like I’m rich from being this way but I sure need to make more than I do.

Well, my male friend from another state is most definitely in touch with me and was not crazy about me being on Zoosk at all. I don’t know why yet. I wasn’t crazy about his harems and extreme flirtations with women either so I set the boundaries. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. The truth is, now that I’m 56 if a man my age still prides himself on the number of women he can f* and needs that, I don’t care. It’s just defecation to him, it’s troll behavior and hurting him more than me not to love a woman or accept it from her. I love at all times.

I’m not sure what he’s up to or why he wants t talk to me. People have said they feel comfortable being themselves around me; not fake. That’s because I tell the truth which seems to be lost in the world of men no matter where you find them or what level of character they are.

 

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Women Can Be Loving with Sexual Energy But Only if It’s Reciprocated


zooskToday the rubber meets the road and as I was working out, Spirit got to me. Some say God or Source. I pride myself on listening for spiritual guidance so that I’m always in my power and integrity so that’s what some of this information is. If it’s not true for you, just leave it be.

My intuition was very strongly scoping out my body this morning which it’s been doing lately. I sensed that most of the time women take energy from the man in the form of seed (sperm) or money but I don’t think we love as often as we could. Of course, we have our own money but women that marry a man do so mostly for his sperm so she can have their child (pure love) and his money (to support that pure love). In that, he is viewed as successful but men shouldn’t have to be defined just by that just as women aren’t. It’s rarely really loving.

I say this from talking to many women who rarely express love for their man the way they do their children. Many women withhold their heart love from sex because the man doesn’t stimulate it with human intimacy. I’m not sure women are aware of it but I know I’ve done it because I resent that men don’t love from heart energy. I think that’s why in my 20’s I kept falling in love with gay men. Straight men don’t love the same way women do! It’s not their fault that they’re more simple. They love from first chakra or just sexual energy, their stomach, and from their minds. (Chakras 7, 3, and 1 or mind, power and food and sex) Women are more centered in chakras 6, 5, 4, and 2 or intuition, speaking and communicating, heart love and feelings. Gay men are too.

Tree with intuitive human

The sacral chakra or chakra two is right below the navel. This is the emotions center, conception, and THE center of creation and love on the planet in the woman’s body. Men don’t have the same energy in chakra 2. Being a woman, I know I cover my belly, hold in my procreative energy and sexual energy there for myself because society doesn’t give me any. I don’t release it during sex unless I’m feeling particularly empowered from within and feel that the man I’m with deserves it because he loves me.

On this planet, it takes a phenomenal amount of energy for a woman to love herself by herself. We’re not taught by any institution or any part of society to love ourselves alone. Women that are internally strong are called witches, freaks, or weird. My patient called me weird yesterday when I told her I was very intuitive. Good ole’ Grand Rapids. That would be me and I’m none of those things.

My oldest sister has always called me a freak though but she’s jealous because she’s more normal than she’d like. Hey, if you’re not willing to do the work and willing to pay the price of being exceptional in a mediocre driven society, I’m sorry.  Hardly any women love themselves from within because you’ll be a social outcast. I’m just being the way I was born to be and I refuse to adjust. It’s not like I’m rich from being this way but I sure need to make more than I do.

Well, my male friend from another state is most definitely in touch with me and was not crazy about me being on Zoosk at all. I don’t know why yet. I wasn’t crazy about his harems and extreme flirtations with women either so I set the boundaries. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. The truth is, now that I’m 56 if a man my age still prides himself on the number of women he can f* and needs that, I don’t care. It’s just defecation to him, it’s troll behavior and hurting him more than me not to love a woman or accept it from her. I love at all times.

I’m not sure what he’s up to or why he wants t talk to me. People have said they feel comfortable being themselves around me; not fake. That’s because I tell the truth which seems to be lost in the world of men no matter where you find them or what level of character they are.

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Essay; With No Contact, The Attraction Wears Off


zoosk

I believe studies have shown this about women. The initial hormone high of attraction falls away if there is no contact, no talking (hearing his voice), you don’t see him and you receive no communication. That has been the case here. Because I’m intuitive, that has all kicked in very strong and I recommend following your intuition to women when it comes to these situations. Reason being, your body, and brain send certain signals based on ancestral DNA and successful reproduction in terms of sexual attraction and your soul intuition sends another. It’s unfortunate that the two are not always on the same track but I can tell you they are not.

I texted him and left one call regarding my Zoosk account getting hacked and being paused. I have heard nothing back. If a man isn’t as active on the account after he meets you, that’s a sign that he’s focused on you, but he was back on and not contacting me directly. Then I assume he was out in the alley again but I don’t know for sure. Ok! I wasn’t. I was watching him. What I know about men is, if they have not had sex with you and they don’t think they’re going to have sex with you in the immediate future, they have absolutely no motivation for communicating with you past the first date.

There is no way two people can value each other as human beings after only one date or even a couple dates! That means women, that even if you wait for a couple dates to have sex with him, there is no way you’re setting a tone for a relationship, love, or bonding to happen and he will continue to be an alley dog, learning nothing, and finding any b…. he fancies online who will give it to him quickly. That is men’s nature.

They are not to be judged for that. I’m making the point that if you want something different and he seems like a man to reproduce with or love, you cannot have sex with him right away. He needs self-discipline, not indulgence. If he shows no interest then and moves on, just because you wouldn’t have sex, he was not your reproduction type anyway.

And usually, a man will say up front that he IS looking for a relationship which could mean several things. Mostly, he may want children and a home. Men want that too. Just know that he will be a softer, more domesticated type and not as virile.

My situation is somewhat different because I’m not looking for a man to reproduce with. However, it’s the same in that I only want bonded sex, not alley dog sex. I need love with a man to be turned on and that is absolutely how I’m wired.

I’m monogamous and want a lover but I don’t like marriage. I know who I already love and who I want to share myself with for the second half of my life; my twin flame. But he’s not communicating with me very much or at least he’s not initiating at the moment and lives 1800 miles away.

For me, it’s a matter of being patient because I know what’s going on with him. What I can tell you is that he is very strong in my psychic, etheric space and that really counts with Twin Flames. So why am I on Zoosk? I’m testing myself and the energy. I also want to hang out and date to be social. I like men.

man and woman talking

Another thing about women is our sexual interest has everything to do with a man’s voice and how he talks to us. It just is. This is huge for men to accept if any of you are reading this. Maybe women are different on this but I don’t think so. I think all women are very strongly affected by the tone of voice and sincerity of voice from a man. We can tell when you’re lying which is most of the time.

If you are an honest man and tell the truth, that is very sexy and very impressive. My male friend in another state who I text and talk with said to me, “We lie because it works!” I said, “No it doesn’t! We can always tell and then you come down a few notches to us and have less chance of sex with us.” He must be referring to lying working on women that aren’t too bright. Don’t get me started on that.

It’s a good thing I really love my single life and have made a life for myself. Dealing with men is really so much gaming and brain mush. My Zoosk fellow is still up north for the week working. The weather in Michigan has been “stay off the roads!”. He told me he would be gone for a week after our first date. Maybe when he’s done with his project he’ll contact me. I honestly don’t care that much and have no emotion invested in him because he’s not talking to me.

Men are unpredictable. I still think he’s super cute but we’ll have to have a second date and see how the vibe is since he wouldn’t talk to me all week. And maybe I’m not that interested now. I’m unpredictable too. This is the dance we do. Just don’t chase him, women! Let him come to you.

Again, think of a dog and how you’d deal with one. My son’s father is the one that made me accept that visual. I would never suggest that about men but that’s because I’m idealistic. Now that I’m middle-aged I’m realistic.